reply to post by NoRulesAllowed
You knew it because of predisposition to judgement.
As you can see, Bragi does not have that. If it was you in that case, that might have been a different story.
The stake was being driven into his temple, three times, before he got the hint.
Bragi, this is not an offensive remark. This is a saving remark.
Forgiveness is perfect in that you forget.
You did not come here to forgive, neither to forget. You came here to do what you just asked; tell you to run against your fears of loss.
Something happened that has never happened to you; all in the same week. And it's still affecting you greatly. That's why you are here.
It's because you have not forgiven, and it's because you do not trust.
I do not want you to feel like you cannot trust. IF you can, THEN YOU SHOULD. But you cannot.
Again; you are only worried about losing your current general comfort. Your bubble has been popped and you desperately want to rebuild that
But once a bubble is popped, then the boundaries at this point are imaginary.
You are either paranoid, and rightfully so, or you are witnessing evidence (which you had not known to see before) to support your fear.
Does it matter? At any rate, the relationship becomes unhealthy... even toxic.
I've seen it A LOT. There is only one couple I can think of where one cheated and they stayed together at any rate without apparent external issues.
But I see through that which is apparent. The man, who forgave, truly did, as a duty. The woman who committed the act... she despises him even more
for his forgiveness. She despises him even more because she is obligated to stay in the relationship because he has chosen to give all trust.
But she gets what she needs out of it. He is in the military in a different state and she is well off enjoying herself and her kids; one of which
belongs to the man with whom she cheated, which her husband demanded that he take care of because that is his wife.
IF you have really thick skin and a sense of duty, then it might be okay. Not necessarily romantically, but for the greater good. If not, I submit
that deeper suffering is looming on the horizon.