posted on Sep, 12 2013 @ 07:22 PM
I believe lies are a fear based derivative. My opinion is that lying is used as a tool or response to what I view as humanity's biggest disease -
insecurity. Insecurity causes us not only to tell lies, but also makes us susceptible to believing them, when of course that is what we need to
Someone who asks another if their hair is okay, or their butt is too big likely already knows the answer, and is asking you to lie to them to make
them feel better. Growing up, I always made friends with people who were older than me. As a young boy feeling the need to compete with those who had
cars, women, money, and were able to shave first, I had lied often, and thought about lying even more so. Always a thinker, at a young age I was
fortunate enough to realize that I was building a totally "false me", and although I had a good enough memory to cover whatever lie I may have told,
the guilt piled up.
I had decided personally declare myself diseased. Diagnosis; Insecurity. Many of us allow it to flourish so early in our lives, unable to recognize it
as an emotional and mental cancer. Our surroundings often feed it well, usually others who are already "false people" in your home, at your school,
at your job etc. It could be your parent (either one or both), siblings, family, friends, commercials, the media, or many other influences.
My experience has guided me to the thought that maybe, the key to life, is to rid myself of insecurity. Sure enough, in any aspect of my life where I
have been able to utterly destroy insecurity, my life has improved, and most importantly, even the slightest urge to lie is non-existent.
I have grown to be more curious and contemplative, and also have learned to focus on the real importance of life. My compassion has grown, my ability
and willingness to help others has increased exponentially, and I have expanded my worldview. I attribute this all to the personal discovery that lies
are a symptom, and I need to find and treat the disease; fear.
Alas, I am still on my quest! My biggest fears right now are fear of failure (financially...what a pity), and an occasional insecurity that I am not
"strong enough" to have my wife's total faith in me (in life, not sexually...I am a beast in bed!)***. I also become insecure about my lack of
education. Particularly when I am the only non-PhD or at least Masters degree holder in the room (also a pity), at events that i never would have been
able to attend in the first place if I had not realized as a teenager that i was so darn insecure! Even with these last fronts in my personal internal
war on my "cancer", I barely ever am overcome by the urge to lie, and if I am and give in, i am disappointed in myself for weeks on end.
I believe that there is no situation where confident statements, simple silence, or a diplomatic deflection of a question would not replace a lie.
There is no need to be cold or confrontational, or worse - fearful that you are about to speak the truth. My favorite of the Delphic Maxims of "Know
thyself.", and I believe if we follow that simple statement we can realize our own insecurities and how to abolish them.
Nice post OP - I would star and flag you if I knew how to do that. I will learn and get back to you.
*** - caught myself making an insecure statement, subconsciously worried that all of you readers that I do not know may think that I am sexually
inadequate. Rather than delete the phrase, I left it in to prove my work in progress!