Hello once again ATS! FTR this will be my first new OP since the upgrade... so I am a bit excited and nervous both. If I botch it, I blame change!
After many days of deep and solemn internal reflection I have come to the conclusion that the most dangerous and destructive question a human being
can ask is the very same question that makes us, essentially, human...
Of course the context behind the question makes every bit of difference in the world as to whether we are raised upward or plowed under by it. The
concept of "why" is very much like a tool, or a gun, or a drug... It can be used for such great good and to such miraculous effect. But it can also
poison us to death and rend our blood from our bodies. Why, itself, probably remains utterly impassive and unmoved by how it effects us. Why just is.
It is us
who empowers it to be positive or negative. And most of the time, we aren't even aware that we are doing so.
Why do people get sick after they're exposed to other sick people?
- the very question that, over generations, led to a near mastery of
communicable diseases... with only a scant few evading our control.
Why did she/he have to leave me?
- the last words or thoughts of far too many who left this world before their intended time - filled with pain
and with their own hand to blame.
These are examples of why
being both positive and negative.
For the sake of this thread we will choose to ignore the passive and playful why
... The why that follows a friend throwing a snowball ( or
water balloon if you are a season snob ) at us... or the why
that loudly leaves our lips when we realize that our favorite television show has
just left us with a doosy of a cliffhanger and countless months to wait for the next season to begin. These whys
make up the vast majority of
our lives and our question asking - and I am sure that brighter minds than mine could ( and probably are ) extrapolating all sorts of usable and
telling data from the mendacity of the common form of why
. But such pursuits do not serve our purposes today, so leave them be, resting where
they sit, we will.
It is this word "why" that has brought me out of a posting silence ( this time not a deliberate sabbatical - more of a "just been busy" thing ) to try
and craft together a few words that might get a conversation started and cause others to think about things they might not otherwise think about.
Obviously we have in-house ATS members who spend their days pondering such things. To them my meager thoughts will probably seem infantile,
derivative, and naive. I ask those enlightened individuals to exercise patience with me. It was not too many years ago that my only "whys" were all
rooted in hitting the bars on a Friday night to try and get drunk, into a fight, and into the home of some lovely young lady - in that exact order (
though I was quite willing to adapt and go with the flow should circumstances dictate )... Thus I ask the very spiritual and metaphysical to keep
these realities in mind as they read. Or they may simply choose to skip this altogether, seeing it as a beginners course.
Then again... sometimes my mind, and the things that come out if, can surpass my apparent level of knowledge. So maybe sticking around wouldn't hurt
either. I cannot promise epiphany but I can promise a passionate and intently crafted journey.
The choice, ultimately, is yours - but I welcome all guests!
By this point in time the more astute among us have probably deduced that the only reason a person would be writing a thread about "why" is because
that person currently has a "why" effecting them. This, I confess, is the case. Well, in a manner of speaking it is at least. Let me explain.
Today was a very odd day in the wonderful, wide world of Heff!
Customarily speaking I possess a strange sort of "luck" ( we will clarify this term eventually - assuming I don't get sidetracked from doing so, which
does tend to happen ). My luck is always either nuclear hot or arctic cold. It is all or nothing. I do not have "good" days, I have GREAT days.
Alternatively, I don't have bad days, I have "Since when does Hell make housecalls" days. It's been this way for as long as I can remember and I have
always hated it. Especially since these trends tend to linger. Bad days tend to lead to a subsequently slightly less bad day, then another, and
another.... until it all works back to good. The reverse is true as well. Peaks and valleys and they always tend to be long journeys between.
But today I had a mixed bag... and that never
happens! The event, quite honestly, has left me rather confused and deep in contemplation. It
might be hard for others to comprehend, but when a life is lived fully shifting between feast or famine... well walking into a well portioned balanced
meal can be unfathomably off-putting. In fact it can be downright scary. Like the kind of scary that makes you want to abandon your entire life, leave
your possessions behind, and hitchhike to the nearest monastery to seek help from a higher power.
The specifics of my day aren't terribly important. I had an amazing conversation with an online friend today that left me filled with good cheer and a
smile upon my face. That was one positive. One negative - a Linux video card driver update left three of my machines acting like Hal in the last half
of 2001 and behaving like a post-mojo'd fembot from Austin Powers. It took a LOT of trickery to get them back to good. These are just two aspects of a
day that has been filled with such aspects. In fact it has been about a direct fifty / fifty mix between amazingly good things, and terribly horrible
things... and it's left me exhausted, contemplative, and feeling a lot less intelligent than I normally feel.
So I write.
The downside to my coping mechanism? You end up reading.
The crux of the issue has been painted a thousand different ways by a thousand different minds. Karma, reciprocity, fate, destiny, the power of
positive ( negative ) thinking, ya get what ya give, win some - lose some, as well as a nearly endless myriad of other aphorisms to describe what I am
trying to articulate. One might say "Damn dude, it's been covered over and over again, like you just said... so why not post "Cest le vie" and be done
Ah, but you see.... I've already given you the key to that question. I've already exposed my inability to simply accept that stuff happens... Because
I am cursed to ask why
I'm just not eager to accept the list of options the run of the mill theories want to spit out at me....
I am not quite prepared to accept that a butterfly farted in the Amazon canopy three days ago and, therefore, my day has been so schismatic.
I am pretty sure that God did not wake up this morning and say "Hey, everyone, check this out... I'm going to totally drive Heff insane for the
I am also pretty sure that Satan did not wake up today and think "Yeah, Heff needs a bit more poking and prodding. I like making him dance around like
a monkey on hot coals!"
edit on 9/10/13 by Hefficide because: (no reason given)