posted on Sep, 13 2013 @ 11:23 AM
I have it on reliable sources, that what seems outwardly to be a mere tour de force is in actuality a conspiracy to deprive Britain of a national
treasure, Harry and Hogwarts, and replace it with an American tour de farce. Do not let these fair maidens into your realm, for beneath their comely
exterior lies a Dark Entrepreneurial Spirit that
will holy water board and Bible and cross thump every Britain until your magic no longer exists!
You see, they and their co-conspirators want to replace the delightful magic of Hogwarts with the embarrassing magic of
. A New Magical Order will be established!
You must fight their cries of "Harrius Potter damnari" by using "revertere ad Americam".
As a young American girl during your British Invasion of the 1960s, I became an Anglophile and now felt it a duty to inform you of the above nefarious
plot. I ask nothing in return, although if I find a nice tin of plum pudding at Christmas time in my U2U box, I would be most appreciative.
Your American Cousin,
PS As further proof of this conspiracy, here is what will happen to Hedwig. Frightening
In a meeting in northern Wisconsin, I mentioned owls and frogs as objects which should not be in your home. The next night a school teacher came
for prayer saying the Lord had convicted her to destroy her extensive collection.
When I commanded any spirits connected with the owls to manifest, her mouth dropped open and terrible wails came out. The spirits confessed they were
indeed witchcraft demons. They had come in because of the pictures, ceramics and macrames of owls in the house.
Unhappily they shrieked at me, “Why don’t you ever stay home. It was so nice until you came. It’s all your fault, Worley, we hate your guts. You
know what she did? She gathered up every owl in the place and burned and broke up every single one! She didn’t miss a one, and she loved us so until
you came. We begged her to leave just a few, but she wouldn’t listen. She just bound us and kept right on destroying them. It’s just horrible! Now
we’re gonna have to go!”
They were thrown out.
Pastor Worley, Hegewisch Baptist Church