How to begin? Where to look?

I am a new member of this medium, and after lurking for some time, I took a deep breath and jumped in! However, I have yet to swim in the deep end, instead paddling around in the calm shallows. But today I am going to put on my life jacket and take a tiny swim to somewhere in the middle.

Loser intro! Lol

First of all, I have had crazy experiences that really can't be defined since childhood. Weirdly, it took watching a preview of a movie that made me totally freak out...although I don't have a lot of memory of anything, the preview was for "Fire in the Sky", the story of Travis Walton. The light being beamed down scared me beyond belief; it took many years for me to even try to remember and, even then, there's not a whole lot there.

Throughout my life, I have tried to pinpoint some crazy incidents that have occurred. There's too many to point out and I don't want to bore the heck out of you guys in my feeble attempt to find answers for myself. I've tried, once, to speak to someone who had similar experiences of high strangeness but I felt humbly outpaced. The one "stranger" I spoke with had a massive memory of his events and boasted of being able to control things that I barely sensed. But that's where my problem lies-I don't have a great memory of things, just vague ideas and I don't know where to look to get answers. Should I bring up things on websites? I don't know. Should I try to pursue things?

Lately, I have been trying to meditate to gain some clarity. Perhaps I just need to put it out there and not give a cookie what people think. But I'm not one of "those" people who can just nonchalantly whip out story after story. Unfortunately, I am one of "those" people who feel like they have to include a resume-hey, I'm a smart lady, not quite middle aged, with a college degree and heaps of common sense- before I begin. Pathetic.

Anyway, I just put that out there and am soliciting advice. Where do I begin? Most importantly, HOW do I begin?

Thanks for taking the time to read my nearly-unreadable post.

Mal

reply to post by Malraux


It will be easier to make sense of it if you write it all down and analize it that way.

But dont try to overthink it. I know how some of you smart people are. They overthink everything and end up clouding everything over and can't see because everything is convoluted.

The "smart" part was more my wanting to not look stupid! But, I am an extreme over-thinker. I have written things down but they just don't seem to make a lot of sense, at least not in a neat little linear story.

I Almost want to write down one of the latest instances but, wow!, I'm nervous even thinking about wanting to do that! Lol

Thank you for replying. You are my first here on ATS.

reply to post by Malraux


write a rough draft on paper and then go add in some details.

When you have it all cleaned up and can make a little sense from it then post it here.

There are some other pretty smart people here too and they can help you think it out.

reply to post by Malraux


Hi. Maybe if you try to explain some of these crazy experiences we would know what you're on about. I had a crazy experience once when i made tea for myself, it tasted like coffee....What????....turns out is was coffee all along. CRAZY!!!

I'm just having a laugh, but cite some examples for us.

reply to post by Malraux


Hi,

I would be very interested to read some of your experiences, and I am sure alot of other members would be too.

I myself have experienced all manner of strange things since I was a young child.

I have not told everything that has happened to me on here though, I have only ever told of a few things I have experienced.

reply to post by Malraux


See, I told you that if you write it down other smart people will help you figure it out.

Even some of the people who arent that smart too can help.

reply to post by Malraux


Welcome to the nuthouse, Mal.

I just want to focus on one aspect of your post. People love to claim that they have common sense. I find this ironic because even the dumbest, most uneducated, most uninformed people think they have common sense.

For example, a few years ago a mother and father in a nearby city discovered that their daughter caught head lice. The parents had heard that soaking the hair in kerosene would kill the lice. Well, they didn't have any kerosene, but common sense told them that gasoline would probably work even better. In their kitchen, at the sink next to their gas stove with a burning pilot light, they soaked their daughter's head in gasoline. Need I go any further?

Common sense - everyone has it until they prove otherwise.

Ok...here goes.

And, by the way, I didn't put into my post that I'm smart to seem like a smart butt, I put that in there referencing my need to almost put out my résumé before being judged...like, not wanting to be viewed as some nut job.

There have been many strange experiences in my life but they're not so clean cut as to identify a main area of absolute weirdness. After viewing the trailer for the movie I mentioned earlier, I felt a sense of panic that I can't describe. I was nearly incapacitated for months; I couldn't sleep nor eat and I felt scared of everything. I went to the doctor for my attacks but I wasn't honest about the cause..thus, I didn't really get any better. But, I did realize a memory that I had never processed before. It was, and continues to be, hazy but It was the first event I remembered that made me feel loopy.

Before college, I joined the US Army for the GI BIll and attended basic training in the 90s. Fireguard was a duty assigned to all of us and, for some period during the night, we took turns standing watch over the bay to make sure everything was ok. There was a DS also scheduled for the night and it was a duty that no one looked forward to as we were already on limited sleep. Not getting up or going to sleep on duty was a no no. Anyone who's ever been to Basic can attest to the trouble you would get into for dereliction of duty. Twice before, someone had fallen asleep and the Drill Sergeant on duty has come up nearly immediately and smoked all of us.

The night I had duty, I was assigned a detail at 2a.m. I remember being awakened and then going down the stairs to sign in with the DS. On the way back up the stairs, I remember this very blue-white light and thinking it was very unusual.

Then.....nothing.

I woke up at 5a.m. In my bunk and with the DS flipping on the lights. Fireguard hadn't woke us up and I thought I was in huge trouble. So, I didn't ask the DS about the duty. I did, however, ask the girl who had it after me. She hadn't awakened and was freaked out that we had overslept...so it wasn't just me. Over a week later, we had it again and looked at the date in the book...all the sign in logs were available...and saw my signature as checking in but never signing out or coming down with my replacement.

So, maybe I went back to sleep. Fine. But why didn't anyone get into trouble? Did the DS go to sleep and just didn't say anything? Not likely since he had to sign the log over to his replacement first thing in the morning. I don't know, but when I saw the trailer to the movie and the scene with the light coming down to hit him, felt like throwing up and panic and fear set in. That episode was the first thing I remembered but definitely not the last nor the strangest. Even now, I feel woozy when I remember, or try to remember, the event. I wish I had some real memory but I don't, so I'm sorry that my first post isn't some glamorous story that can change the world. What I do want, though, is to open up about things and see if anyone else has experiences that are similar.

That took a lot out of me to write. While it wasn't the grandest, strangest thing to identify with, it was the first memory that changed me dramatically. Later, I remembered earlier and clearer memories but this is the incident that scarred me for life.

I guess I was referring to having common sense and being smart as wanting to say that I don't have 7 eyes and 3 legs...like, "Hey I'm normal! Not one of those loons who don't know that planes fly and think everything is paranormal."

I didn't mean I was smarter than anyone else or that I have more common sense. Although, I have to say I have been known to turn a VCR on a time or two in my life!

Just had to post that as it seems a lot of attention was paid to my referring to myself as being smart and filled with wisdom. No, nothing of the sort.

reply to post by Malraux


You might be interested in reading another weird incident.

Strange Test Performed on Me in Basic Training

The military just loves screwing with its own soldiers.

Originally posted by Malraux
I guess I was referring to having common sense and being smart as wanting to say that I don't have 7 eyes and 3 legs...like, "Hey I'm normal! Not one of those loons who don't know that planes fly and think everything is paranormal."

I didn't mean I was smarter than anyone else or that I have more common sense. Although, I have to say I have been known to turn a VCR on a time or two in my life!

Just had to post that as it seems a lot of attention was paid to my referring to myself as being smart and filled with wisdom. No, nothing of the sort.

No harm. Your writing reveals that you at least have a brain in your head.

reply to post by Malraux


A qualified hypnotist might be able to help. Let me stress the "qualified" part, preferably a therapist that is trained in hypnotism as well.

Ok, since I wrote that, I felt like opening up more and letting my common sense arise...or lack thereof show in all its glory. Since the time of the first episode that I remember, I went to college, became a Commissioned Officer, served several deployments and gave birth to three healthy sons....so I am not doing too bad, just a bit screwed up like everyone else.

Keeping with the time line that I remembered, some weeks after the Fireguard incident, my company went out on ExEval...my basic was OSUT, so it lasted nearly 6 months, including AIT. We had our weapons on hand, M16, and were assigned very expensive MILES equipment...basically, lazer tag.. I remember going to the port-o-potty and laying my weapon to the side of the wall....then nothing. Sometime later I was out in the middle of the woods and was without my weapon or my MILES. I was confused but even more so after the DS handed me my weapon and equipment and told me that he had found it laying around.

Now anyone who has ever been in the military knows that isn't normal! I should have been in lots of trouble but nothing.

Two days later, I was still in e field and was laying in the grass trying to hide out and not get shot....mock warfare. I remember seeing the weird light again then I fell asleep. A few hours later, my boots were kicked and I woke up to a Captain from another company trying to wake me up. Once I stood up and made a weird M16 salute,,,embarrassing still to this day as I pride myself on decorum...wait, I don't want people to think I have too much pride... he realized I was a girl as asked why I was out there. I told him I must have fallen asleep but he was freaked, as my company had left the area several hours earlier and had left me with a weapon unaccounted for. He drove me back...about 45 min...and I was able to turn my weapon at the tail end of my company because he had talked to my DS and Commander and told me to turn it in to be cleaned by the armorer. They apologized to me and said they thought they had everyone accounted for and were SWEET to me....they were never SWEET except the weird times. I was dropped daily for getting Airborne in my contract, so they were not taking it easy one me...

So, see what I mean about odd? And those are just the first things I remembered and continued to experience that would leave me scratching my head.

Originally posted by restless genius
reply to post by Malraux

 

Hi,

I would be very interested to read some of your experiences, and I am sure alot of other members would be too.

I myself have experienced all manner of strange things since I was a young child.

I have not told everything that has happened to me on here though, I have only ever told of a few things I have experienced.

Thanks. Maybe I shouldn't have posted...who knows? But I'm going to give it a go and see if I could find anything. I would love to hear your stories, too.

Originally posted by olaru12
reply to post by Malraux

 

A qualified hypnotist might be able to help. Let me stress the "qualified" part, preferably a therapist that is trained in hypnotism as well.

I know that would be awesome but I'm just so weirded out to tell anyone, particularly since I use military hospitals and services. Going it alone would be ok, except I would have to be careful in choosing a quality provider. I'm a bit paranoid..lol...and not very confident about this in person.

Thanks for offering up a suggestion. I'm still a little unsure about posting more stuff but I'm opening up.

Mal

Let me know if this is getting too long or boring or basically not very interesting.

Next weird episode.....

Several months after the last post, I was stationed in Hawaii, Schofield Barracks, which isn't too bad being a teenaged private! I was assigned to a core unit and was in the field a lot. On one particular night, I was with a LRSD unit and they were on eval and needed a female in case they were tasked with mock female EPWs. The whole incident started out poorly; the hydraulic fluid line burst in the UH60...uh, Blackhawk helicopter....and soaked my butt. Once we were dropped with full sling load into the ocean outside of Hilo...big island...my bottom felt like it was on fire. We had to hump what felt like a million clicks then were chased by wild hogs sniffing out MREs. That night, I had Fireguard...go figure....but without all the signing in. I didn't feel like sleeping due to the butt burning and me trying to pretend I was ok, so I wasn't sleepy and was very watchful because of the pigs. I saw the light again and, for whatever reason, I followed it out into the trees.

Then. Nothing.

I woke up with everyone else and no one had pulled duty. Again, I didn't even get yelled at.

On a side note, my rear end became badly infected due to my trying to tough it out for nearly a week. I was mortified after my chemical burns put me on a no-BDU profile for 6weeks and I had to sit on a donought ring for work.

These memories are very clear until they get to a certain point then they are hazy. I didn't remember any if this until I saw the movie commercial. Then, these things started coming to me. Even things that had happened much earlier.

After trying to not think about things and being scared out of my gourd, I began having these memories from childhood. My very first memory of anything unusual is seeing "Jesus" on the deep freezer. I told my grandmother about this and she told me I had been blessed. I was raised in the Appalachian Mountains and my Jesus told me to go up to the top of a hill and pray. I used to go up there all the time and sleep. I was only about 5 or 6 but that was back when kids were gone all day long and no one worried until supper time! I don't remember anything about going up there but eating blackberries off the vine and wanting to nap up there.

When I was ten, I was playing with my friends and came up on a cave....might have been an abandoned coal mine. Everyone else was scared but I thought I was brave..,maybe the whole smart common sense thing is wrong..lol...so I started towards it with them yelling that they were going to tell on me. I didn't listen..stubborn..and climbed up to get to the shale front. As soon as I got to the front, a little boy about my age came out of the mouth of the cave and smiled. He had white blond hair and was tall and thin, but he looked kind of weird, like he was glowing or something...ok, I said it. I have told that story to exactly 3 people before today. Again, I have no memory of what happened next except it was getting dark and my grandfather was yelling at me. I guess I had fallen asleep but I was about 100 feet down the hill from the cave.the other kids had left me and went to tell on me. I don't remember how long my grandfather said he looked for me, but I had to have been gone for a bit since it was daylight when I climbed up the hill.

Let me know if this is just boring the crap out of you. I feel slightly euphoric letting this off my chest.

This is far from boring, so keep them coming. I would suspect that the more you tell, the odds of either you remembering more, or it triggering something for someone else would rise. It seems that is happening. A bit anyway all ready. Plus it appears you are getting a tad more comfortable telling your experiences and that might help open some of the blockage you may have been having.

Just for the record, I don't think anyone is questioning your intelligence, nor common sense, and even if they were, it really wouldn't matter in the realm of things, because it is your life and your story and that is all that matters.

So, lol soldier on.....

Odd? Honey, I believe you probably have just tapped the surface. I don't think you are really scared of what anyone here might think, but to write it, is to face it, on your own. You came here, perhaps, to be in good company while you relived it.........

You will find support here, and castigation, as well. Pay no attention, is my advice,: take what you need to help, and disregard the rest. For it cannot live within you untold forever, common sense suspended, replaced, or present at all.

At least for my part, I am not here to judge, but to seek knowledge, and affirm and reaffirm, for this is the scret to living in this hell, where otherwise we would be lost and/or overcome by it..... Some are here to judge. Some are here to share. Some are here to create and foment judgement. And some are just here, cause they were given no choice to be anywhere else, and struggle to retain something of their true selves, even through the vast manipulative seaa of apparent "opinion" and individual judgement......

Take care, and I mean this in no codespeak. Please, take care of yourself. Share what you will, and be healthier for it, I hope..
Welcom, for my part.
Tetra50

Originally posted by jiggerj
reply to post by Malraux

 

You might be interested in reading another weird incident.

Strange Test Performed on Me in Basic Training

The military just loves screwing with its own soldiers.

I am reading a lot today! That was very interesting. Although I hate that others have had to go through strange things as well, there is a small part of me that is, well vindicated I guess.

Have there been more strangeness? Thanks for sharing that with me.