6 months to live...and not a clue what to say

Night Star
reply to post by cody599

 

I remember when I was growing up, there was no such thing as cell phones and we had phone booths outside everywhere. LOL

We didn't have the internet either and had 'pen pals' from all over the world if we wanted to correspond and meet new people. It was fun and interesting and you actually looked forward to getting mail and not just bills.

When I was a kid and I heard about all the things I had that my parents or grandparents didn't have, I used to wonder what people in the future would have that I didn't. Interesting.

It was the same for me

My folks worked all the hours under the sun for us, and if I wanted a stamp to post to a pen pal I had do something to earn it. But my favourite times were in the garden planting and tending to vegetables, there was something magical about bringing mum the vegetables for the Sunday roast. There's a picture somewhere of me as a kid with a massive grin on my face giving them to mum. I'll see if I can find it over Xmas.

If not I'll find another one of me as a kid, you'll laugh your socks off

Cody

Night Star
I once was so vibrant, so full of life and happy go lucky and outgoing, the life of the party. Now I feel almost dead, like most of me has just died and will never come back again. I never dreamed that life could be so cruel, so chaotic and painful both emotionally and physically. Where has Night Star gone?

Your pain is very real, and I don't know that this will help. Maybe what I have to say is so far out in left field as to be useless to you, but your description of your feelings sounds so very familiar to me. Coupled with increasingly severe physical issues I felt like there was a cloud always over my head. I had a hard time with balance. I was afraid to walk down stairs. I couldn't get up off the floor. I really didn't want to do anything but sit.

For several reasons I felt compelled to visit a doctor and was diagnosed with high blood pressure. She gave me a little tiny pill to take and within a week my blood pressure zipped back to normal. But what was amazing to me was that suddenly that pain in my knee that caused me to limp was gone. I could put on my pants without clutching at a closet shelf. I went down stairs without using the bannister. All these little things that had been bugging me were essentially gone. And with it my attitude improved greatly. I really hadn't realized the slide down I had been on.

It might be worthwhile checking out. Not that finding something like that is a cure all to the very real pressures in your life, but if you could take away one thing that was causing you duress, that's one less thing bugging you. And if the lessening of this one thing (whatever it is) takes you across a threshold from "not being able to cope" to "being able to cope," well, then, you've accomplished something rather huge.

reply to post by schuyler


Bravo

So often we indulge ourselves in helping others for no reward we forget about ourselves.

Wise advice schuyler.

Night Star I'd take it if I were you

Cody

reply to post by schuyler


Thanks so much for trying to help. I'm already on a blood pressure med. My physical pain comes from spinal stenosis and nerve damage in my leg. I was hit by a mini van as a pedestrian back in 08 and that made my back pain worse. Though I can walk and do things, I am limited. I also have stress, anxiety and depression from years of going through so much crap I guess.

So far I can't seem to find a depression pill that doesn't make me feel like a zombie and gain weight. So I'm not on anything for that. I do have one for anxiety which helps because I tend to worry a lot.

My biggest thing is dealing with living with a husband who doesn't want to be married anymore. It's gut wrenching because he has a good wife!!!! Guess after all these years he just takes everything for granted. I trusted this man with all my heart and soul. We were supposed to grow old together and now...everything has changed and I feel so alone and don't deserve it. I don't even want to think about finding a new relationship. I doubt I could ever trust again.

But anyway I'm hanging in there.

reply to post by cody599


I would love to see pics of you as a child Cody. I am sure they are just precious.

Wishing you and Lisa some peace this Christmas eve and an angel to watch over you both.

Thoughts and prayers are still with you.

I'm worried and fear the worst.

K2 are you ok????????????
So worried.

reply to post by Night Star


Sorry for worrying you Night Star. My laptop took a fatal hit before the holidays and I replaced it with a Nook. I love it but I am unable to log in on the ATS app which frustrates me.

Lisa's cancer has spread throughout her abdomen and she is currently in the hospital for pain management. I have a feeling they will send her home on hospice which she has refused in the past. The pain is to a point she cannot deal with it and I think this time she will take hospice for they are able to give her higher doses of pain meds to control the pain she is feeling

She was given 6 months to live in August. Its February. Six months later. I don't want to see her go but she is miserable and hurting so bad. Her kidneys are full of cancer and she is full of fluid because they cannot work correctly. She is practically drowning in her own fluid right now because her lungs are so full.

I hate to see her suffer.

Please pray for her to get peace and to be pain free. yes, I know that means she will no longer be here with me, but, seeing her like this is absolutely heartbreaking.

Her daughter graduates from college Feb 28th and I know she is hanging on for that. Her daughter is also getting married in June. If I know Lisa, she will be here for that too if she has any say so in the matter.

I love you all and I am sorry to make you worry.

I hope you are all well and doing ok. I miss you guys.

I hope they fix the app soon. I am having ats withdrawals.

K2

reply to post by k21968




Welcome back k2

It's so good to hear from you again, even if the news is not good.

I'm so gutted to hear about Lisa's slide,it seemed inevitable, but somehow hearing it hits home harder than I expected.

Maybe for personal reasons

Maybe a hospice is the best place for her, at least they can ease the pain.

Suffice to say I now really know what you're going through, and I apologise if I was flippant in any way shape or form earlier

Hugs and love

Cody

Oh thank God! I thought we lost you like we did Kat. Sooooo relieved to hear from you K2!!!!!!!!

Yes, pain management is the best possible solution right now, to make her as comfortable as possible. My Mom just lost her hair dresser of many, many years. She was maybe in her forties and had gone in for surgery for gall bladder or something and they discovered she was just loaded with cancer. She was gone within a short time. So sad. She was such a vibrant happy lady and will be missed terribly by many.

I am praying for the release of pain and for some semblance of peace for Lisa.

reply to post by k21968

havent been to site in a while but u and lisa stayed in my thoughts, hoping angels are helping everyone through this difficult time. and hoping they grant a wish for lisa to experience graduation without more suffering.

6 whole months a friend o mine went to the doctor on friday afternoon with what he thought was a bad tummy and was taken in to hospital on saturday morning his family was called for to say goodbye .

his organs were shutting down due to piancriatic cancer and he died in the small hours 30 hours he lasted and he looked ok on friday morning i am going to his funeral 2moro

poor guy was 50

enjoy every day like it is your last folk

life can be short and sometimes not so sweet

reply to post by 999zxcv


I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. He is now in a better place I believe.
None of us ever know when our final time will come, only that it will. Hugs!

Poor sweet Lisa has hung on and been so strong and couragous. I'm sure by now she has had enough. She has suffered enough. I pray that she is releasd from the horror that has become her life. I know she will go on to a better place in peace, without the pain and suffereing.

reply to post by k21968


Hospice care workers are angels! I have heard such high praises from any family who has had to go through a family member needing them. They are there for the patient and the family members dealing with this.

So sorry to hear this bad news =[ Death is not easy for anyone to deal with. And I have always had an extra hard time with it. But I do think it's amazing you guys have been friends for so long! It's rare to find friends these days that last such a long time and I think you are very lucky to have her, and her you. Remember were a family here on ATS. If you ever need to talk, message away.

K2, I have been thinking of you and Lisa for some time now wondering how things were.

Hey everyone! I have missed all of you so much. I'm so sorry if I caused you to worry...but i haven't had a computer and a lot going on in my life...i had no idea I would be missed so much I feel like such a jerk! I have been pretty sick (issues from the radiation) I can't eat with
out getting sick...but i apoligize...please forgive me. I'm getting a new router tomorrow so I pray that's the only problem and i can get my laptop back....it sucks on a phone! So how is everyone?