Why are YOU so mad?

Hatred is not something anyone should feel, and its one of the flags that work needs to be done on our inner selves, meditation and seeking within for Peace and Love. That being said, those who are in control of this world and causing agonizing suffering to others and nature are responsible, the top echlens are going to answer for all the traps they try to dig for others and all the pain they've caused. Its lucky they're going to be in the hands of those on High, and They're Love, but one is never healed or off the hook if you haven't faced what you've done and vicariously experienced what you've done....that is mitigated by the work you put into seeing, feeling, empathyizing, in the here and now. So I suggest they don't waste any time.

I'm not.

Actually I managed to launch my career rather successfully, under my own terms I now (well, soon) have the coolest job of almost anyone I have ever met (despite being in my early 20's).

reply to post by Akragon

You see an image on TV or in movies and many people say..." damn I hate that guy/girl"!

This new ATS is so weird. Anyways, It's not always TV that people do that. They might see someone walk by in real life and be all nice to their face and once they have their back turned the other person is saying "God I hate that person". Those are the type of people I cannot stand one bit, if you don't like somebody why fake liking them...to not hurt their feelings or are you just scared?

There is nothing wrong with hating people that are famous. There millionaires squeezing more money out of everyone, they are not role models there actually quite the opposite, most of them are idiots, and most of them don't care about anyone but themselves. So please keep on hating those pathetic famous people.

Okay Imagine you've got the HIGHEST PRICED SLOWEST INTERNET in the World (Like we do) I quote!

My internet speeds

And it Takes Forever do download all your games files

and your favorite political party is Losing in the polls The one that planned the 1000mbp/s rollout

The one that promised you that by December you will be connected to real fast internet at 1000mbp/s very fast so you can download your games in seconds rather then Weeks and Weeks wouldn't you be a Little PISSED OFF TOO

here let me explain!





Unfortunately the LIBERALS have won the election 1/80th a second for us at the same price SO SLOW!

it meant under labor we would have had this

20GB download equals 23 seconds

Now under liberal (WHO HAVE WON) we get 20GB download equals 4 hours 59 seconds Not to mention the 999,999,999,999 dropouts you get with COPPER CABLING!

Now think about this dude I have over 200GB of games to download it will take me 3 MONTHS to download them under abbott's plan I've done that twice already and the second external hard drive Malfunctioned when my router fell on top of it! HOW PISSED OFF DO YOU THINK I AM!!

I am fed up that Liberal got in even though I voted for labor the 1000Mbp/s group Which I now won't Get!

Therefore I hate what has happened that's the definition of hate.

Anger is an incredible emotion.. Personally, I tend to get mad more than some people. Now, to the person next to me, they might think I'm a fool with a short temper for getting so mad. But to me, the reasons for why I get mad are acceptable. I guess it all comes down to who you are as a person, your views, beliefs and probably genetics too. There's been times where I had to stop watching a movie because certain characters in the film pissed me off because of what they were doing. Hate and anger are just as normal as any other emotion you can feel. You can't put two people in a room without them getting into a fight over something eventually. It's human nature bro.

Originally posted by ItzShadyT
Anger is an incredible emotion.. Personally, I tend to get mad more than some people. Now, to the person next to me, they might think I'm a fool with a short temper for getting so mad. But to me, the reasons for why I get mad are acceptable. I guess it all comes down to who you are as a person, your views, beliefs and probably genetics too. There's been times where I had to stop watching a movie because certain characters in the film pissed me off because of what they were doing.

Hate and anger are just as normal as any other emotion you can feel. You can't put two people in a room without them getting into a fight over something eventually. It's human nature bro.

Does hating someone make One feel better or worse?

reply to post by Akragon


Again my friend. That all depends on the inner workings of said individual. Don't get me wrong, hate is a very destructive and negative emotion in general. But you need some bad to go with the good to balance everything out. Take venting to someone for example. You have all of this hatred and anger and confusion built up inside, and than you just let it all out, and 9 times outa 10, you should feel better. However, everybody has there own way of dealing with hate. Some people might decide to go for a run to clear there mind, and another person might go on a homicidal killing spree. It's all about how that persons conscious works.

reply to post by ItzShadyT


This is an issue I am currently struggling with, maybe you can aid me get a glimpse into the minds of others like you... help me understand them?

I get the benefices of venting built up energy at someone...... but do you put much thought into the chosen targets?

Do you, for example, choose someone who is maybe similar to yourself (who has lots of anger to vent), so that they can do the same with you?

Or does it feel better to vent at someone who doesn't "fight back"?

I ask because I live in a country where the people are extremely aggressive and hostile in everyday life, verbal attacks on others is a daily exercise for them. But I am not, and yet I seem to attract them as a target. I am highly sensitive, and apparently everything I feel can be seen on my face- I cannot hide even the most subtle emotions.

I wonder sometimes if it is sort of like with predators- it is the sensing of vulnerability that excites and attracts them? - Do they derive pleasure from perceiving that, in their venting, they have deeply wounded and pained someone?
Can you get the same amount of benefit from a vent on someone who isn't destroyed by it?

In my case, I can also wonder if it is a matter of expectations- they know I am american, americans have a reputation for being powerful warlike bullies internationally (our government and military gives that impression)....
so maybe it is just the expectation that I will be like that (and my extreme sensitivity and lack of hostility to defend myself surprises them..?)

I do not get any relief from doing that sort of venting on others (I empathize and can end up even more stressed worried about whether I hurt them), so I just really struggle with comprehension of those whose midns and bodies work differently!

reply to post by Bluesma


My friend, I think you misunderstood my definition of venting. I meant it in a way as in you find somebody and share with them the things that you wouldn't tell most other people, and release all the anger you've built up inside as a social way to cope with it.. But, I see where you are coming from. What you've posted is true, I can usually sense when a person is uncomfortable around me. Which actually happens more than I would like, because I'm actually a really friendly and open minded person. However, the people I tend to associate with and my outward appearance usually deceive people into thinking I'm a thug. I can tell first off someones uncomfortable by the little things they do. Are they making eye contact? Are they sweating? Do they keep changing the subject? Are they playing with their fingers? Anyways, do I look for weak people to vent to? Not normally, I try to find somebody that's on the same page as me, and can actually understand my emotions and feelings instead of just nodding their head and saying they do. Trust me, there's a BIG difference there. People that actually listen and seriously understand what you're saying.. I don't know. It feels like you're making a connection with them, and it makes me feel really good inside knowing that some people in this world care about me and what I have to say.

reply to post by ItzShadyT


Ah yes, I did misunderstand what you were refering to! Perhaps I was hoping to find someone like those I have this problem with, to help me out.

I meant venting as in aggressively attacking someone verbally on the street.

I am one of those people who does listen usually and have a wide range of capacity in comprehension... but there is such a high price for being that way, I can understand why so many people don't really want to be that receptive. It means being vulnerable and getting hurt easily, it means people coming to you when they have a problem, and not wanting to see you later because they are embarrassed that you know their secrets and their weaknesses.

It seems the only people I have trouble emphathizing with are these hostile aggressive ones, because the attack makes me flee inside my shell to protect myself, rather than remain "open".
I'm still hoping to find someone on internet that can explain to me, because there is no immediate danger and we both might be able to stay calm.

Originally posted by Bluesma
reply to post by ItzShadyT

 

it means people coming to you when they have a problem, and not wanting to see you later because they are embarrassed that you know their secrets and their weaknesses.

edit on 6-9-2013 by Bluesma because: (no reason given)

^ That right there is actually a very powerful weapon in it's self. I'm sure you could control a majority of people through their secrets, that you know, because they told you. To me, that's all Facebook is. People shouting out their weaknesses and personal problems for anybody to pick up on.

Originally posted by Bluesma
It seems the only people I have trouble emphathizing with are these hostile aggressive ones, because the attack makes me flee inside my shell to protect myself, rather than remain "open".

Why would you want to remain open to a hostile aggressive attack?
It is normal to want to flee from attack, if one does not flee then one will fight and defend.
Why would empathy even come into it?

If one defends and fights back then there will be a fight. If one does not enter into the fight then it is over - there is no fight.
If it appears that someone is being aggressive just watch their display and see it is just a display. If you join in you have been caught up and you will suffer.

In my experience I have found that if one defends oneself and promotes oneself then one will be attacked.
Humans love to play the game of I am better than you so if you don't want to be attacked don't make anyone feel smaller than you. Making yourself appear bigger will cause a fight response.

Humans fear being losers so are always trying to win. It is possible to have win win interactions but it is not the usual game people play. There is too much fear in the individual that one will become small and cease to exist so they have to try to stay big. In doing so they are overpowering and of course the world bites back.

All individuals are like this so that is why everyone is so mad. Why not let them just get on with it and watch them all fighting and defending - it is quite amusing when you step out of the game.

Before I knew all this I used to feel like a victim and felt as though the world was a battle field but now I live in a Buddha field.

Originally posted by Itisnowagain

Originally posted by Bluesma
It seems the only people I have trouble emphathizing with are these hostile aggressive ones, because the attack makes me flee inside my shell to protect myself, rather than remain "open".

Why would you want to remain open to a hostile aggressive attack?
It is normal to want to flee from attack, if one does not flee then one will fight and defend.
Why would empathy even come into it?

If one defends and fights back then there will be a fight. If one does not enter into the fight then it is over - there is no fight.
If it appears that someone is being aggressive just watch their display and see it is just a display. If you join in you have been caught up and you will suffer.

The reason that empathy can be useful is in interacting and influencing a change in behavior and the nature of our exchange.

You don't believe there is any "one" that can influence "what arises" so I know this does not apply in your belief system, but from where I sit, see, I work in training animals, and raised children.

I found that through empathy, I could be more aware of what their feelings, thoughts, needs and motivations were.
Sometimes they are not real sure what is bugging them, so they cannot express it more directly, and their behavior can be misleading.
Behaviors which appear to just be a general rebelliousness, for example, can actually stem from a specific discomfort (a saddle that is pinching the back, the child is tired), or from some sort of need (the animal or child feels insecure), and in determining what this deeper reason is, I can choose responses which answer to those roots and the type of exchange changes. They feel better. So of course, I feel better with them.

Become detached and indifferent can make me feel better immediately , and is what I do sometimes, as I described.

But for one, this is something that happens often- as I said, the environment and culture I am in encourages people to be aggressive, and they have a tendancy to attack the least aggressive person in the room- that's me. This is a everyday thing.
This interferes with activities such as work.

It would be more interesting and beneficial for me to enter into relation with these people and find a better way for us both to interact. The fear of vulnerability issue, as the other poster and I pin pointed, might be a key to that. They might need to have some show of proof that I would not use their weakness and vulnerability against them- so they can drop the guard dog act?

I don't know yet. But as I've told you before, I did not incarnate on this plane to escape it. I came to explore relation and separation.

Originally posted by Bluesma

Originally posted by Itisnowagain

Originally posted by Bluesma
It seems the only people I have trouble emphathizing with are these hostile aggressive ones, because the attack makes me flee inside my shell to protect myself, rather than remain "open".

Why would you want to remain open to a hostile aggressive attack?
It is normal to want to flee from attack, if one does not flee then one will fight and defend.
Why would empathy even come into it?

If one defends and fights back then there will be a fight. If one does not enter into the fight then it is over - there is no fight.
If it appears that someone is being aggressive just watch their display and see it is just a display. If you join in you have been caught up and you will suffer.

The reason that empathy can be useful is in interacting and influencing a change in behavior and the nature of our exchange.

You don't believe there is any "one" that can influence "what arises" so I know this does not apply in your belief system, but from where I sit, see, I work in training animals, and raised children.

I found that through empathy, I could be more aware of what their feelings, thoughts, needs and motivations were.
Sometimes they are not real sure what is bugging them, so they cannot express it more directly, and their behavior can be misleading.
Behaviors which appear to just be a general rebelliousness, for example, can actually stem from a specific discomfort (a saddle that is pinching the back, the child is tired), or from some sort of need (the animal or child feels insecure), and in determining what this deeper reason is, I can choose responses which answer to those roots and the type of exchange changes. They feel better. So of course, I feel better with them.

Become detached and indifferent can make me feel better immediately , and is what I do sometimes, as I described.

But for one, this is something that happens often- as I said, the environment and culture I am in encourages people to be aggressive, and they have a tendancy to attack the least aggressive person in the room- that's me. This is a everyday thing.
This interferes with activities such as work.

It would be more interesting and beneficial for me to enter into relation with these people and find a better way for us both to interact. The fear of vulnerability issue, as the other poster and I pin pointed, might be a key to that. They might need to have some show of proof that I would not use their weakness and vulnerability against them- so they can drop the guard dog act?

I don't know yet. But as I've told you before, I did not incarnate on this plane to escape it. I came to explore relation and separation.

I have found that if one ignores someone who is attacking then they move away - they may not speak to you for 3 weeks but when they start again the exchanges are respectful. I have lived in an aggressive world - I was born into an aggressive home and seemed to attract it and it has now ended.
I live in a mutually respectful world now.

Originally posted by Bluesma
You don't believe there is any "one" that can influence "what arises" so I know this does not apply in your belief system, but from where I sit, see, I work in training animals, and raised children.

If you have the idea that people need training then that could be the reason you are attacked - just a thought.
Maybe they don't like the idea.

Originally posted by Itisnowagain

I have found that if one ignores someone who is attacking then they move away - they may not speak to you for 3 weeks but when they start again the exchanges are respectful. I have lived in an aggressive world - I was born into an aggressive home and seemed to attract it and it has now ended.
I live in a mutually respectful world now.

This is not the reality of the environment I am in. Conflictual exchange is a major past time here, and as some people have explained to me (in attempts to understand this) they get very frustrated when I do not "fight back". This does not make them go away, it increases their attraction to attack, because they want to provoke me to push back. This can go on for days, and get more and more intense. There is at least one woman I have in mind that has been after me in this way for YEARS.

To many people, being ignored is worse than negative attention, and I guess the people of this culture really have a lot of confidence in their ability to provoke a negative reaction.

What you described simply sounds like the typical male competative drive, in which males challenge each other, and if one doesn't respond in opposition than it is done. The hierarchy between the two is determined, and there is no reason to continue the pressure. Maybe I am wrong, I am not in your shoes. But I think that kind of aggression is slightly different from the one I am dealing with here?

It might be closer to what you see in childrens schools, in which a weak person is "bullied" incessantly, especially if they do not react. Maybe some research into that phenomenon could help me understand the cultural element.....

Originally posted by Bluesma

Originally posted by Itisnowagain

I have found that if one ignores someone who is attacking then they move away - they may not speak to you for 3 weeks but when they start again the exchanges are respectful. I have lived in an aggressive world - I was born into an aggressive home and seemed to attract it and it has now ended.
I live in a mutually respectful world now.

This is not the reality of the environment I am in. Conflictual exchange is a major past time here, and as some people have explained to me (in attempts to understand this) they get very frustrated when I do not "fight back". This does not make them go away, it increases their attraction to attack, because they want to provoke me to push back. This can go on for days, and get more and more intense. There is at least one woman I have in mind that has been after me in this way for YEARS.

Conflictual exchange is the human condition - it is the major past time here - I know - it is all around. It is the human game of not peace.
It can end for you by just seeing the madness of it and just laughing at it (not at them or out loud - just silent amusement).

It might be closer to what you see in childrens schools, in which a weak person is "bullied" incessantly, especially if they do not react. Maybe some research into that phenomenon could help me understand the cultural element.....

If the abuse is not enough to go to a manager to it get it sorted then just refuse to enter into childish immature bickering.

I initially replied to this.

Originally posted by Bluesma
It seems the only people I have trouble emphathizing with are these hostile aggressive ones, because the attack makes me flee inside my shell to protect myself, rather than remain "open".

Here you state that you have trouble empathising with 'the hostile aggressive ones' - I didn't think you were referring to a tired child or a horse with saddle sore. In my opinion the 'hostile aggressive ones' are not attractive and do not need empathy.
How can you genuinely feel empathy for someone when they are attacking you - are you not feeling fear?

Originally posted by Itisnowagain

I initially replied to this.

Originally posted by Bluesma
It seems the only people I have trouble emphathizing with are these hostile aggressive ones, because the attack makes me flee inside my shell to protect myself, rather than remain "open".

Here you state that you have trouble empathising with 'the hostile aggressive ones' - I didn't think you were referring to a tired child or a horse with saddle sore. In my opinion the 'hostile aggressive ones' are not attractive and do not need empathy.
How can you genuinely feel empathy for someone when they are attacking you - are you not feeling fear?

A tired child or a sore horse can act very hostile, they can even hurt you. Same with adult people.
Obviously whether they "need" empathy or not is dependant upon intent.
If you do not wish to enter into relation of any sort with them, then of course there is no reason.

If they are family, a friend, a coworker,.... anyone you have to deal with and cannot ignore, then there is reason for empathy, understanding and more effective communication as a result.

Yes, I can feel empathy for someone who is attacking me. I have felt empathy for someone at the same time she broke my arm! She was very depressed, frustrated and in a situation where she herself was being physically abused... so I could understand what was happening.

That doesn't mean I don't employ fight or flight behavior in response- it means I do so with love and compassion for the person I am fighting or fleeing.



When it comes to people I know well, I can find that empathy even if they are being aggressive and violent.
If it is a stranger, and I do not know anything about them, their live, or current situation, it is harder to do in that moment.

Originally posted by Itisnowagain


If the abuse is not enough to go to a manager to it get it sorted then just refuse to enter into childish immature bickering.

Well, thank you for the advice. I will consider it if it ever seems appropriate.

Like I explained in the first post of this thread, the times I have had a real problem with this was when I was attacked in moments of vulnerability- once when I was injured and on lots of pain medication, another time when I was very very sick and in the middle of a bad asthma attack. The fragility of my state, in each of those cases, made the attacks impact my mind and body harder than they normally would.

I did not enter into bickering, I simply fell upon the ground and cried a lot. The problems are physical now- if I go into the same ER room, I suddenly start to hyperventilate and cry and need to run- no matter what kind of thoughts are in my head. I can be laughing at the meaninglessness of it all in my head- that does not have anything to do with the totally physical and unwilled reactions happening.

The reaction of throwing up when I see the guy who did this to me for two days straight- I know about him now, his reputation for such behavior has killed his career, and I had a few people come in and rescue me at the end of those two days. It is over. And yet the vomit reflex happens anyway.


If I had a better ability to determine a course of response which could have changed those interactions, than maybe it would have gone differently, and maybe I would not have these reactions in my body.

The "don't engage" thing didn't work out for me.