The Jealousy of Success

Success can be and often is, a double edged sword in the social arena. On the one hand, we must applaud those that have devoted themselves to success and have achieved it, but then some would say too much success is almost criminal. To quote Hillary Clinton, “Obscene Profits”.

The issue is of course one of jealousy pure and simple. Well that and envy.

It is a natural state that some will work harder than others and that some will achieve far more than those that do not work as hard. (Or make bad decisions). Now don’t get me wrong, I understand there are some that work their butts off and still find success elusive; but they are really fairly few and far between.

I know I will get flamed for much of this, but the truth is the truth and this is simply the truth of things.

Who defines success? If we could find someone who was completely altruistic, maybe we could place them in a position to define success for us all. Sadly there is no human on the planet that is purely altruistic so we must muddle on as we often do in matters like this.

Here are some more truths.

Hillary Clinton used the term “Obscene Profits” all the while building her and Bill’s fortune by millions. Anyone remember “Whitewater”?
Low wage earners speak out often about the tax breaks businesses get all the while paying little to no tax themselves.
The Democrat party supposedly speaks for the poor and yet 7 out of 10 of the richest members of congress are Democrats
7 out of 10 of the richest members of congress are Democrats

Yes America, there is a wealth gap. Seven of the top ten wealthiest members in Congress are Democrats.

The results are based on a new study released today by the non-partisan Center for Responsive Politics. The Center did an analysis of the financial statements filed by members of Congress for 2010 income and net worth.

Still the Republicans are always slammed for being “Big Business”..

Envy is an ugly emotion and yet we have all felt it. The neighbor gets a new Mercedes and we cannot afford even a new Ford. We feel envy.
The government keeps getting richer but won’t increase our welfare checks, we feel envy.
Joe Nobody hits the lottery, we feel envy.

Now let me say this; I am NOT rich by any means but I consider myself successful. I come from an amazingly poor background where I grew up with an outhouse and a kitchen sink to wash in. Still I had a very successful career in what is normally considered a fairly low paying profession but I stuck it out through all the bad times and have been able to retire quite nicely. Would I like to have more than I have now? Well yes. Do I need any more than I have now? Well no.
At different points in my career, especially while raising my two beautiful daughters, I was eligible for government assistance but I always managed to make it without Uncle Sam’s help by working two and sometimes three jobs at a time; all while suffering from PTSD and Clinical Depression. I did not enjoy that, but as the economy made it necessary, I made it happen. Having worked that hard for all those years, I hope you all can forgive me if I have little to no sympathy for someone that won’t work and draws a government check and yet can manage to post on the internet for hours each and every day. Still I would have no problem with people like that until they start the ridiculous mantra about how I should be paying more taxes so they can have a bigger check, more free health care or new houses.

Gone is the American Self Reliance that caused us to be ashamed of living off the government
Gone is the American worker that worked 2 and 3 jobs to support themselves
Gone is the Greatest Generation that shook off Combat Fatigue and went back to work
Gone is the independent spirit that built this nation
Gone is the concept of a hand up not a hand out

Yet people wonder what has happened to our country..

reply to post by darkangel831


Great Rant and oh so true.

I've encountered people who used to be civil towards me when I was working, and are now hostile since I've retired.

People who seem to think that I am independently wealthy or just sit around all day doing nothing. They must think that I will drop whatever I am doing to help them at the drop of a hat. Or that I can just help them out financially, because, well...I don't know, I'm retired so I must be living large after all. I guess I just don't have a life in their view.

Being successful is a double edged sword. I call it a blessed curse.

BTW, I'm watching paint dry at the moment. And that is the truth, since I am repainting the interior of my place.

It all depends on your definition of success.

I am poor, I earn next to nothing. Have no pension. Entitled to NO state pension. Yet I live in the hills, farm my own food, have my animals and am happy as ever. Many old local folk here are the same. Life expectancy on average is 85 in this area, many live to 90's and more(Mediterranean). They are poor but very successful in my eyes. They love life even at their age and I see them working away in the heat and putting me to shame. They are incredible and extremely happy and the most hard working people I have ever met.
I used to live in UK in technical engineering, good money, nice house but I was unhappy. I see rich people every day and they just seem jealous of people with more money than them, also criticize poor people calling them lazy and such. That is not a life I want to live. They are not truly happy, even though they class themselves as successful.

If the supermarkets closed tomorrow, they would be knocking at my door....that is not success, that is relying totally on the system. Money does that to you. Without the system in place these people are totally helpless. Money is not success, never will be. I consider myself to be one of the most successful people in my area. I rely on no one but myself and my close friends. I am successful, the millionaires down the valley...they are totally reliant on others to maintain their lifestyle. That is NOT success. Not at all. They would not even know how to plant a potato. I feel sorry for them, and I never see them working hard. They have wasted their lives in this illusion called money. They are the most un generous people here. We 'poor' people share everything we grow, we swap fruits and veg, when we grow things we are proud of we give them away to others to try. The 'rich successfull' people here would never do that. They dont even take part in the community. It is sad.

They dont even clean their own houses....how sad is that????? Yet they say we are lazy!!

reply to post by darkangel831


If "most" of those that work hard were successful 60% f the country wouldnt be at or below the poverty line.

As we have one of the highest productivity ratings in the world, and one of the highest of all time.

American workers work hard, they strive for success, but no matter how hard 100 people or work or want it, when there are only 40 plates, 30 with a little extra on them, 8 with more than anyone could ever need on them, and 2 with more than all the others combined, and none of these are willing to share, there will be 60 starving people.

There are plenty of resources to go around, there are plenty of hard working people that make very good decisions, there are not plenty of good jobs to go around.

This means no matter what happens, if those at the top demand to have millions of times more than those below them, and they control the entire game, those below them will have little if any chance of advancing.

It is a rigged game, think about the hunger games, they let just enough do well, that everyone believes they might one day be the lucky one that gets to.

It gives just enough hope to keep things moving along, but never lets the peons actually have any kind of power over their own life.

I dont know how you cant see this.

You dont honesty think 60% of the people in the most productive country in the world, with one of the lowest average vacation days and sick days per year per capita, are lazy do you?

I mean france gets about 10 times the average vacation and sick days as us a year, japan gets over 2 times as many.

I know many that dont even get 1 day off every week. Even the hebrews got every 7th day off back in the bibical days.

Do you really not see any of this, or do you not research anything before ranting about it?

Are you sure this topic is not about guilt?

You see hard working people with next to nothing and rather than help them you criticize them? What beautiful people you are!

It is not simply a matter of jealousy, but rather a matter of empathy.

To put it in simple terms - I have everything that I need! I do not envy others success, regardless of what standard this might be measured by. Yet I find injustice in the fact that some have so much, while others have only very little.

Further more, people are rewarded differently for their actions, even the same actions, and there are many cases where I think that some people have been rewarded too heavily as a result of an unfair system. I do not blame anyone for their positions in life, good or bad, cause they are rarely the result of their own actions exclusively. But I wish that people would ease of on the greed, cause it is destroying our world.

Originally posted by greavsie1971
Are you sure this topic is not about guilt?

You see hard working people with next to nothing and rather than help them you criticize them? What beautiful people you are!

I see nothing about guilt in the OP at all because he/she did point out exactly what you said. And the OP does have a point. Many of the U.S. lawmakers are obscenely rich and are constantly saying that the rest of us must give more, yet do little to nothing to contribute themselves.

reply to post by Mads1987


I would say that empathy and jealousy do play a role. I know plenty of people who on the surface are well off. But they are constantly bickering/complaining about their bills. Depending upon the person involved, I may have little or a lot of empathy for them.

Did they need that big house, TV, new car and latest phone? Probably not. So it is a problem of their own making and I have little empathy for them.

Others I have seen who would be called miserly by others. They don’t replace things that aren’t broke and keep them until they do. The ones who are like this who are married often have stronger marriages as well then the aforementioned.

Like you, I believe that others lives are often dictated by their decisions, and circumstances. I won't say I am never envious of others, but it's never about money or possesions.

Originally posted by TDawgRex

Originally posted by greavsie1971
Are you sure this topic is not about guilt?

You see hard working people with next to nothing and rather than help them you criticize them? What beautiful people you are!

I see nothing about guilt in the OP at all because he/she did point out exactly what you said. And the OP does have a point. Many of the U.S. lawmakers are obscenely rich and are constantly saying that the rest of us must give more, yet do little to nothing to contribute themselves.

And said that those who arent doing well are not working hard enough, and all but called them lazy good for nothings getting hat they really deserved.

While ignoring the obviousness of the real situation. There arent enough good jobs for all those that are capable of doing them to have one, so those more than capable, are working at Mcdonalds and walmart...etc

When they could and should be doing much bigger and better things, but there are no jobs, so they take what they can get right now, because they dont want to be welfare mooches, all the while being talked down to for doing all they can in this crap economy of cronyism, and self appointed "skilled" vs imposed "unskilled" though this is clearly not the real case.

Thanks for ignoring 1/2 the OP to only focus on the part that makes you feel good about yourself though

reply to post by TDawgRex


I empathize with all. Both those who are poor due to the circumstances they were born into, and the fools who destroy their own lives in some ignorant pursuit for materialistic superiority. Both cases deserve our attention, as both are results of the systems we've created around us.

Originally posted by TDawgRex

Originally posted by greavsie1971
Are you sure this topic is not about guilt?

You see hard working people with next to nothing and rather than help them you criticize them? What beautiful people you are!

I see nothing about guilt in the OP at all because he/she did point out exactly what you said. And the OP does have a point. Many of the U.S. lawmakers are obscenely rich and are constantly saying that the rest of us must give more, yet do little to nothing to contribute themselves.

I do totally agree with that and unfortunately (in my experience anyway) most people with money have an attitude like this to some extent. ( obviously there are exceptions) Money creates greed and destroys empathy. Also is destroying our planet ( reminds me of the other day, I was stopped by a local rich guy complaining about my e-cig in the bar....he proceeded to drive off in his 4x4 pumping out far more toxins that any smoker would in their entire lifetime..off the point a little there) and creating wars, of which it's the poor who end up dying. I just find it totally ignorant when people imply poor people are lazy and do not pay their way. The majority of poor people are the hardest working people in society. The more money people make, it seems, the more they just sit around in their offices doing next to nothing, telling people how successful they are. This is how it was like for me in the UK anyway.

I do agree with the lawmakers / politician thing though. They are scum and usually responsible themselves for the state society is in.

I do tend sometimes to make sweeping comments and am aware this does not always come across as I intended. All my points are valid though.

Originally posted by oblvion

Thanks for ignoring 1/2 the OP to only focus on the part that makes you feel good about yourself though

Just pointing out that you are only paying attention to what makes you angry. But I guess that makes you feel better about yourself as well.

We are all individuals and everyone has their own story. Life is not fair.

a reply to: darkangel831

I am reviving this 2013 thread, with new and relevant content to add:

www.denverpost.com...
STUDY LINKS "FACEBOOK ENVY" TO DEPRESSION IN COLLEGE STUDENTS

As this terrific OP stated, there will always be other folks in your age range who are better or worse off. Sitting in a puddle of tears and getting depressed is not the answer.

I think a lot of this can be laid at the feet of "helicopter parents" who raise their kids as can-do-no-wrong, perfect little darlings. When the kids get out in the real world, without Mom and Dad as an cheering section, Reality can be harsh. (I wish I had a dime for every time I said to my mother, "But that's not fair!" And her response was always, "So what? Life's not fair!")

I've always thought that envy/jealousy was the most powerful emotion - not Lover or Hate. It can be a great motivator in a competitive sense. But too many people today feel overwhelmed by the reality of ordinariness. Who rolls up their sleeves and digs in to create their "special niche" in Life, and who just feels overwhelmed and dissolves into a puddle of Depression, seems to reflect back directly to parents.

www.huffingtonpost.com...
HELICOPTER PARENTS MAY BREED DEPRESSION, DISSATISFACTION AND INCOMPETENCE IN THEIR GROWN CHILDREN

Although society as a whole has turned more viciously competitive - and more immoral, with all the barely-dressed celebrities vying for our attention. And the homosexual atheists pounding on us that God doesn't exist - thus neither do morals or ethics.

www.nytimes.com...
DATABASE OF WORDS USED: WE'RE BECOMING MORE INDIVIDUALISTIC AND LESS MORAL
Usage of words "bravery" and "fortitude" has fallen by 66%, "thankfulness" and "appreciation" has dropped by 49%. But words associated with the ability to deliver ("discipline" and "dependability") have risen, as well as words associated with Fairness.

Being a successful slave...the ultimate delusion.

a reply to: Eunuchorn

There is no such thing as a "successful slave."

Just as there is no such thing as being "totally free." As that wonderful song, "Me and Bobby McGee" put it:
"Freedom's just another word for nothin' else to do; Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose."

There are a lot of self-pity depressed kids out there, smoking joints on couches, and watching endless TV and movies of what their lives will never be. They've created their own "state of slavehood". No, Thanks.

You want something out of Life? Then start putting in the focus and hard work to get there.

a reply to: MKMoniker

The words of a willing materialistic slave. We are reaching a point in society where "working" (struggling) to live feels inherently wrong. Guess what, it is.

Working & working hard are very, very different things. White collar society is unnatural, if not evil & detrimental to natural growth & evolution

a reply to: Eunuchorn

I've been poor most of my adult life, and always had more than one job while living in (super-expensive) Los Angeles, just to make ends meet.

And I'm hardly a "materialistic slave!" I have no expensive jewelry or gem stones, no credit cards, no new clothes. I do my own hair and nails, we live in an apartment, and drive a car over 10 years old. But we have each other, a roof over our heads and enough food to eat.

I'm semi-retired and no longer "a slave to a job." Although we have viciously jealous neighbors who steal our snail-mail, and are in this apt. "shopping for free" whenever we both leave. (Standard refrain in our house when returning from errands: "Count the meat in the freezer, and check the canned goods in the pantry to see what's missing!")

So how do YOU define "inherently wrong", or "evil and detrimental to natural growth"? How "natural" are lazy, jealous scumbags who covet and steal what little you have?