I awake with a start, it's 2:43 a.m. and I need chickpeas. It started to settle in, a couple of weeks ago, I realized as I was munching my way through
a bag of wasabi-ranch-dusted dried garbanzos, that I had an obsession with chickpeas that goes back to my childhood.
I know when it happened, it was when I was 8. I was eating them out of a strainer that was still in the sink just after the beige little beans had
been rinsed; I was told that it was what the ancient Egyptians ate, and I asked, "You mean the ones that made the pyramids?", "Yes", I was told, "The
ones that made the pyramids". It was on, right then, with me and the chickpea.
I mean, my God!, look at the things...
How can you not want to start shoveling that in? I would have to be restrained to keep from getting 2nd degree burns. They are the single yummiest
to me, I want them more than a steak. So I started just a few days ago to try and figure out why. Why? Why has this legume been such a
prominent feature of my life?
I have known for a long time that the chickpea, a.k.a. the garbanzo
bean was a world-spanning bean, a foodstuff that could be found in some the
greatest culinary creations from around the world, I knew I would find it as a central source of nutrition to the ancient Egyptians, but I really had
no idea just how influential my delicious little bean had been. The chickpea, as it was named by the French in the early 18th century, has been a
singular force for human nutrition for nearly 7500 years. The antiquity of the tasty little treats can be easily demonstrated by the
that there is still an
ongoing argument between Arabs and Jews over which of them created the falafel, a dish made from fried mashed chickpeas.
Then I started to look at the nutritional content. It's stunning, no wonder my muscles feel better toned and I am generally more alert when eating a
lot of chickpeas, the things are full of protein and zinc. They are full of amino
, and a complete protein can be had easily by pairing the chickpeas with, say, almonds. They have plenty of potassium in them, too, but
most importantly they are a powerful source of zinc, which supports the production of testosterone, which has obvious effects on breeding more little
And then it struck me! What would be the perfect food to feed to pyramid slaves!? That's right, garbanzos!
, lots of garbanzos; and bread, and
beer. And not just the pyramid builder's in Egypt, but also the pyramid builders in Mexico; the most ancient of the chickpeas, the desi
been found to have been cultivated in ancient Mexico. Something cheap, that can be grown in abundance, that has a nearly ideal nutritional profile,
that can be prepared easily and transformed into breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert. That's
what you need if you are going to feed a hungry
slave army as they build your arcane earthworks and monuments.
As this sunk in, it dawned on me that maybe I should check to see what was happening with the chickpea in America. I should have been expecting
nothing less. What else would be the perfect food to feed to a new army of monument-slaves, slaving away in the silica-mines, creating digital
monuments? Nothing else but the chickpea could suffice.
, the world's mightiest wielder of the garbanzo, could not be reached for comment as of the linked
article*, American sales of hummus are believed to have increased by 18% in 2013. 10,000 more metric tons of chickpeas were grown in 2011 as were
produced in 2010. Sabra has announced an $86 million expansion of their facilities. The bean has landed. We are all, apparently, on the bean, and more
than 70% of us bought some chickpea preparation last year, probably hummus. I bet the tahini guys are happy too as American farmers strive to grow the
chickpea and take advantage of the growing demand for chickpeas; they went up $0.10 a pound just last year.
*Hummus Is Conquering America
So, looks like it's not just me that's a slave to the little chickpea, it's spreading, to you, and you, and you too! We will all kneel to the
monument-lords, and their tasty slave-foods as we hammer out a livelihood and create their monumental earthworks. It's the old switcheroo! They baited
us in with the tasty cow-steaks and dairy-products, and now that they've got us, it's the switch-up. Good thing I was vegetarian for years, I could
live, and generally do, on the little things.
Nom! Nom!, ATS. Happy Sunday.
edit on 1-9-2013 by Bybyots because: .