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Originally posted by RValko
What really shocks me is how the others on this forum describe healthy sex as being something that happens with multiple partners over a period of time until you get it right. Sex is becoming a purely physical act to produce physical pleasure and nothing more. What about a time when sex was giving all of yourself to one specific person to share with and become one with.
I don't think it's old fashion to believe sex should be saved for one person that your share forever with. Now a days people get married and divorced as fast as the seasons change. Nobody teaches what real love is anymore, or how to work through the problems and difficulties that arise, now it's just trade in when ever things go wrong.
Statistics prove that children who come from families in which the parents are either divorced or were never married to begin with, are much more likely to not only repeat the pattern but also to progressively get worse and lead to crime and mental disease.
There is a reason that our world is deteriorating and crime is at an all time high, regardless of belief system, the human eco system is set up for a man and a woman's bodies to produce offspring. Much like how things work in the animal Kingdom, if one of the sexes of that animal didn't follow it's role whatever that may be, that animals bloodline would die off. Science shows us perfect examples of why and how families need to operate in order to prosper and survive within our larger ecosystem.
a child is not born into this world with an innate sense to # at the age of 15.
Originally posted by Metallicus
She told me it was a 'logical' choice for her because she really loves/loved this guy and she didn't want to end up doing it with someone later in life that she didn't care for like she did him.
Originally posted by Metallicus
My fifteen year old daughter had sex with her boy friend...maybe 4-5 times and then be broke up with her. I really never expected this would happen to me as a father. She is very smart, somewhat conservative and we had all the talks about waiting and I trusted her to do just that. Last night she told me about her having sex with her boy friend and that they broke up. I feel heartbroken and also as if I failed her.
I really thought she was listening to me. I may have made some mistakes along the way. I told her I would love her no matter what which in retrospect almost seems like condoning what she did. I also gave her condoms just in case for her and her friends. I didn't expect for her to use them (although I found out she did which is a good thing). I did these things to be realistic. I did these things because I love her. Now I wonder if I didn't make it easy for her.
When she told me I think I must have turned white as a ghost. I didn't react. I wanted to be 'cool' about it. I felt good that she had trust in me to tell me even at the same time I was really disappointed in her. I knew enough not to judge. She told me it was a 'logical' choice for her because she really loves/loved this guy and she didn't want to end up doing it with someone later in life that she didn't care for like she did him.
I actually like this guy. He is smart and is probably going places, but like most 15 year old boys he rally wasn't ready for a relationship. He used my daughter and then discarded her. I really feel like crap because I warned her of this very thing. She is a smart girl...I just don't understand this.
Anyway, I needed to vent a little and share. She hasn't told my wife so I can't talk to my wife about this. My daughter trusted me and told me to tell no one. Only her two best friends know other than me.
What say you ATS? This community is a lot like a surrogate family to me. I am confused. Angry. Proud? I am not sure. Lots of emotions. I am trying to process all of this right now. Your thoughts would be appreciated.edit on 2013/9/1 by Metallicus because: Spelling Error
Originally posted by Mianeye
My doughter is 19 now, she went through what you just described at the same age or so.
I just said to her- That was the first one, you propably going to meet more of that kind before you meet the right one...Have fun but be careful.
Sex is a good thing not a bad thing, she will be fine just like my little girl is fine, they learn some valuable lesson's during their life, tell her to remember those lesson's, and she will end up doing great.
Don't blame youself, enjoy your kid growing upedit on 1-9-2013 by Mianeye because: (no reason given)
Originally posted by ProfessorChaos
reply to post by Metallicus
I'm going to say just one thing here, and that is: You need to tell your wife.
Parents are supposed to be united in the way that they deal with their children and with their children's problems.
Besides, she's her daughter too, and maybe between the two of you, you can find a way to cope with this properly.
You may not think so, but your daughter will get over you discussing this with her mother, your wife on the other hand, may not be too thrilled with you not telling her something this important.
Other than that, I got nothing. Good luck!
Originally posted by LUXUS
When I was 15 I didn't even have a conversation with my parents about safe sex because I was a kid....and knew that!
If I did that my father would have swiped his leather belt across my ass, my mother would have been disgusted with me and they might have even threatened to call the police or bring me to the head teacher so as to seriously embarrass me.
Originally posted by Metallicus
I appreciate the responses. She is actually going to be fine. Her dad might take a little longer, lol.
I guess the biggest thing is it took my by surprise. I suppose she did everything right. She used protection and made sure it was someone she cared about. I'm the one that wasn't ready.
I am proud that she felt she could tell me. At least I know that she can tell me just about anything she needs help with now and in the future. I will be there for her always and I am glad she knows that at least. Hopefully the don't get pregnant as a teenager message will resonate better.edit on 2013/9/1 by Metallicus because: ETA