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Originally posted by ForbiddenDesire
DestroyerDestroyerDestroyer makes excellent points. Though:
That being said, nobody cares if you have sex or not.
I guess nobody does care. But peers will pressure you, I know from experience.
I wonder why they do that.
I'm a late bloomer because of past bad experiences, trust issues and such.
Lack of attachment to parents. It wouldn't bother me much if my last parent would die.
Etc. It takes some time to heal and I'm going to do it with someone I feel comfortable with.
Some might not understand but your brain connects events with certain chemicals so it's not that easy of just changing your mindset. I have to go to repetition and repetition until I get comfortable with it.
What I'm not going to do is creating a world of amoral and moral. A world where I'm the better one.
On that topic, cheating is natural and serves an evolutionary purpose; we're not monogamous creatures by nature.
I've read that study that says women get bored with monogamous sex. I do think we are monogamous emotionally though, or it's purely nurture.
I think of swans. They stick together forever ("emotionally") but the female and ?male? will look for "pleasure" (reproduction) elsewhere.
I guess it's because of my lack of experience, but I don't understand what's so bad about cheating, only the part that it's secretive. To me sex itself isn't intimate, unless you feel intimidate to the person. Maybe I'm dead wrong, but I don't think I would be bothered with it if my partner would tell me, and if it's only about the act and not about the person.
I find amusement in psychology forums where people get really insecure about their partners opinion on them, because they fear losing them. Yes to me that's not a good thing. I don't think I will ever be such a person, could have been though, but nowadays my well-being is almost exclusively based on myself. Note how almost is underlined, because exclusively based on yourself is very hard and may very well be impossible.
But yeah what do I know?
Originally posted by ItCameFromOuterSpace
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
Destroyer's comment is the only one based in any kind of level of reality so far. You should listen and try to keep a more open mind instead of being defensive and judgmental. That speaks volumes about you as a person.
Evolutionarily speaking, genetic perseverance takes priority over personal sustenance. You can witness this in pretty much all living creatures, save maybe panda bears. Basically, if you have a lot of sex, leading to the potential production of many offspring, it doesn't matter if you die young; your biological purpose in life has been fulfilled. The reason we desire multiple mates is genetic diversity. Hence why the desire to have multiple partners is natural and thus normal.
Creatures that are monogamous by nature seldom seek new partners; they naturally mate for life. Some will find a new partner should the last one die, others will widow themselves. The creatures that we evolved from, however, were not monogamous; they did not mate for life.
For more on this topic you can check out Sperm Wars by Robin Baker or The Red Queen by Matt Ridley. Both are great books on the topic of human sexuality.
Morality is entirely subjective and often heavily reliant upon social conditioning and cultural upbringing. There is no such thing as right, just as there is no such thing as wrong. Everything simply is. What you believe to be wrong or immoral could be right or morally just to another person. Hell, it could even be a cultural custom. Take eating cows, for example; In India, cows are considered Holy. Here, they are hardly considered.
There is nothing wrong with being a whore or a slut.
Being sexually promiscuous may be taboo, and it may be frowned upon, but that doesn't mean that women can just switch off their libidos and become androgynous, vagina-less drones.
Why I'm defending women's right to be sexual against a woman is beyond me. Perhaps you're hung up on some sexual insecurities, perhaps it's jealousy or a "me against them" mindset.
For the record, I'm not trying to cut you down, I'm calling you out on your BS.
You can't pass judgement on a bunch of people then turn around and call them judgmental hypocrites. Pot, meet kettle.