It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.
Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.
Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.
Traditional Abrahamic faiths tend to reinforce a single male/female relationship. In reality, there are many successful male/male and female/female relationships. There are also many successful male/male/female and female/female/male relationships as well, but it's not something you hear about on MSM, because it's a private lifestyle.
People who engage in such lifestyles know the stigma behind their living situations, and remain "in the closet". They don't "come out" and proclaim how great it is, because it is against societal norms.
Such a lifestyle DOES NOT work for those who are close minded, nor for those who are strongly attached to religious principles. In such stereotypes, it's beyond comprehension. It's almost abhorrent.
I will stress that polyamorous relationships ONLY work for highly intelligent, rational individuals, those who understand the dynamics behind such a controversial lifestyle, and they are just fine with that.
There's a lot less pettiness, a lot less conflict, and more agreement in how to proceed through life. The biggest essential in a polyamorous group is the ability to communicate, and you'll find that those involved in such lifestyles are great communicators, able to express themselves, and able to rationally respect other member's feelings.
One of the major reasons the divorce rate in the US is over 60%? The lack of the ability to properly communicate.
Originally posted by AboveBoard
reply to post by Night Star
Excellent point!!! As a woman who has had an aggressive breast cancer, I have to say that I am grateful that my husband stood by me for every test, every appointment, every chemo and radiation treatment. The number of all these apointments were just staggering and overwhelming. I was so exhausted from the chemo I didn't even want to get dressed, never mind go to all those apointments and treatments feeling like crap and being poked and prodded. He was there for me at every turn, for every tear and gut wrenching sadness and fear.
Well, I'm totally with you on that one! I had Hodgkin's Disease (cancer of the lymph) with six months of very aggressive chemotherapy. I was diagnosed "with something very bad" right before my wedding, and was told I might not make it through my Honeymoon!! We got the real diagnosis right after I survived the wedding/honeymoon and then started chemotherapy just a couple of weeks after we moved in together. We were very young. It was beyond grueling, and took years to recover fully from the chemo. Anyway. The following years have all been "bonus time" in my book! Not to digress from the topic too much...
I so hope you are well now, Night Star!
peace to you,
Originally posted by Phoenix267
reply to post by Night Star
Is that common in women. Because I wonder why you two will get that and how bad is changed your lives. Scary knowing people like my friend Luke got lung cancer even though he didn't smoke. Sad that he passed away too. Scary knowing how bad cancer is.
On the topic I have found the book: Opening up: A guide to creating and sustaining open relationships. This should help me understand polyamory more.
Originally posted by tothetenthpower
reply to post by MarioOnTheFly
Nope, I'm a man
While I admit that I am taking a tremendous chance, facing the scorn of galadofwarthethird, and the disgust of Phoenix267, I'd like to risk another comment.
Like I said to say that the op has not really thought this through is an understatement. But hey far for me to be a partypooper, he seems adamant about it. Besides its not like this is going no were were it has never been before a million times a million before, you know the kid just wants to but on a different label on it and a happy face, and to tell the truth there are many females out there who would be into it, just as there are dudes like him who are into it. So you know! Whatever. That is that.
And who knows maybe one day like Mormons and others he may want a few benefits as benefits the law for his special relationships, that and some tax breaks, or at least loopholes. But maybe really the real progress wold be when we start giving single people tax breaks and incentives. And as you likely know by now, the same things in this world and existence repeat themselves over and over, the only thing that is really different is there outlook and labels.
You mistake me bro, I literally do not care what anybody does, I may come of some ways online, but really its just because I care so much that this stuff may as well be a different language and come off in certain ways to see how people react. But beyond keeping things within face values for basic communication purposes and cataloging I could care less who the op sleeps with and what he calls it. In fact I am all about people doing what they want, as long as they keep the bull# on the down low. They can come up on this tread and say that there planing on marring there dog and some goats and I would be like. Oh ok! are the dog and goats ok with it?
And I will say the same thing if he came in here and wanted to have amorous affairs with a bunch of women and went on about it. I find this thing especially silly and kind of meaningless. There are many definitions of love, some people just seem to fall in love with a certain idea of falling in love and as the OP calls it having polymory relationships with many women.
Its the ting now a day, were as a few years ago different wordings was used. Like I said to each there own, like that is new or has been outlawed for these past thousands of years. The op whines that he comes from a place and is a product of were this is happening all the time and he blames monogamy that he or anybody around him is not doing it or practicing or keeping to there marriage vows. Bizarre no? I mean duh, off course there not doing it when they don't want to do it in the first place, or even really capable of it.
Completely confused like I said. However its time these people started paying for there own stuff and upkeeping there own momentum and believes, even that is not there own it seems, but a product of the believes of others and society. Merely reactionary lifestyles and believes for reactionary beings. They are living the dream and constantly whine that they just have it so bad.
Like I said its a non issue, just a way a certain people go about doing there business. They must first reason with themselves that there is something here which is surprising and others are stopping them from doing, that itself seems part of the over all cycle of this thing. And yes these sort of things like everything else are cycles, most of which are predetermined from the get go, as that is the definition of a cycle.
So ya! What about do as thou wilt do people not understand? It just you know gets old when people come on here and constantly have and whine about the same old things over and over and over. Like a broken clock its just repeats itself, which is highly annoying though fascinating in a way. That is in the way watching somebody constantly run into a wall then start complaining and as soon as there done complaining they proceed to run headlong into the same wall, and the process repeats itself etc etc. After a time you see that they actually like running headfirst into wall, its what gets them off, what they seek, and what they need. Sort of like this whole thing going on with the op, or pretty much any other thread you would read on this relationship forum. Non issues.
My OP was about myths relating to polyamory and like any other topic it goes all over the place
Of course I'm very dead set on this and it's my goal. But anyhow hopefully we can agree to respect each others opinions. Even though we disagree on a lot of matters.
I remember reading about some woman that had two husbands(not legally, but still legitimate) and she basically had very little sex with the older of the two. The younger man served as the "spark" relationship, while both were friends and roommates.