Deep secrets

I'm sure most all people keep some deep secrets from people, and only confide in a few trusted friends and/or family members.

But do you think most people have a secret that they literally have never, ever told a living soul in their entire life? Something they have never even written on a piece of paper, on a forum under an alias, or even spoken out loud in an empty room?

I have a few such secrets. Maybe 4-6 depending on how you categorize them, as a few are kind of connected. All of these secrets are at least a decade old (or started that long ago, a few are still "going" as it were) so I have no reason to believe I'll ever tell anyone about them. One of them I came incredibly close to telling a girlfriend several years back after she confided in me with a similar story, but I held back, and am glad I did. Not because of bad terms and she could have used it as ammunition, just in general having that info in the mind of someone who no longer cares for you scares me.

Is this normal? I'm not questioning myself as a person or anything, I was just a little curious how common it is to have such closely guarded secrets. None of them are really super "dark" or anything, I mean a few are, but not in the sense that I killed someone or did anything bad to anyone. They are all fairly unusual secrets too, not the normal "I cheated on my wife" or "your dad isn't your real father" or "i have a crush on my best friend" type of secrets. And because this is ATS I'll have to say this too, it's not some silly "I'm an alien!" secret or anything.

So what about you guys? Do you have secrets you have never, ever told anyone or anything and never plan to? Do you think keeping such secrets can cause problems for a person? Nothing I've done can come back and bite me on the butt, but sometimes I have an overwhelming urge to tell a close friend. I feel bad for keeping things from people that I'm close with. Some of these secrets have a fairly large impact on who I am as a person and I feel like if I'm close with someone I should share, but I keep censoring myself.

If anyone cares to share such secrets feel free Or a story of how revealing a secret turned out badly. Any and all secret discussion is welcome

When I as was 10 and my brother 9, we went on a day out with our family to the beach. We took some sandwiches with us and I wasn't in the mood for one of my sandwiches so I opened up the bread and with one side squashed a fly on the car window and then put the sandwuch back together again..wait for it lol..I then offered my brother the half-eaten butty and he said "yeah I'll have it.." He ate the lot, dead fly guts and all while I chuckled in the back of the car like a creepy little child haha

There ya go..I have never told anybody that, not even my brother

reply to post by James1982


I am the guy who shot JFK......shhhhhhh.......don't tell.

Sounds too much like Scientology...."Tell me your deep, dark secrets and we will help you." Is there a vault someplace your going to be stashing the replies? A wise old woman once told me......."Your best friend is your worst enemy." I, being very young at the time, asked "Why?". And I was told "because your best friend knows everything about you." Just saying.......

It was me.

reply to post by James1982


simply put. Yes. We all have secrets we can not tell. This is normal.

some you swear to keep on pain of death, others you just keep for common courtesy. Personal secrets you usually keep because they involve you and you are ashamed of them or because people can use them to control you.

I personally have more of other peoples secrets locked away in my mind for all time than I do of my own. I try to just stay level with people. I am also usually in the wrong place at the right time. I am good at keeping secrets and vows though.

Some things are sacred.... you know.

There are two types of secret I keep.

One type is the secrets which have been told to me, by those dearest to me, those which I keep on behalf of others. The other type, would be the secrets I keep, even from myself. These last I have no choice in, and are a product of my unique psychology. I have no concious ability to know them, and yet they are part of my id.

Other than that, I have no secrets. As far as my concious mind is aware, I have no skeletons in my closet so to speak, because I value truth more than I value breathing in and out.

reply to post by James1982


Its normal to have those secrets. I had one that I didnt tell anyone for 20 years, then I told the closest person to me, infact I couldnt say it, I wrote it down and now I regret it. That person exploited it to their advantage.

Keep the secrets, unless its about UFO's or something. Dont tell anyone something that can come back and hurt you deeply later.

reply to post by James1982
I have enough deep, dark secrets that I'm taking to the grave with me to fill a warehouse. My secrets, other's secrets......too many. You definitely should consider making reservations for a front row seat at my death bed confession- it will be amazing!

I believe we all have secrets of some sort. Some things are better left unsaid. I too have secrets that I have never shared with my husband of 30 years, sister or best friends. Some secrets I am proud of and others I'm not.
I learned from a very young age that the less people know about you the less they can judge or use against you.
I am a people person and love to laugh and join in on conversations but feel that my secrets are mine and mine alone.
Question: Will it change things or help someone if they knew Your secret? Answer: probably not.
So what is the use of talking about your secrets? Who really cares and why give anyone the ammunition that they may use against you at a later date and time. If secrets do not involve or hurt anyone else, then they are not anyone else business. Personally I hate when people tell me secrets about themselves.

Bottom Line: The reason they are secrets is because you have never told anyone.

I have my slew of deep secrets but I cannot think of a single one that I have never told another human being. For me though, some of my deepest secrets have to be shared out of necessity and one cannot remain hidden for long should a person become embedded in my life. Overall though, yes, I keep deep secrets and they have forced me to structure my life accordingly to protect those secrets. Is it healthy? Probably not but I really don't have a whole lot of choice in the matter.

Originally posted by WhiteAlice
I have my slew of deep secrets but I cannot think of a single one that I have never told another human being. For me though, some of my deepest secrets have to be shared out of necessity and one cannot remain hidden for long should a person become embedded in my life. Overall though, yes, I keep deep secrets and they have forced me to structure my life accordingly to protect those secrets. Is it healthy? Probably not but I really don't have a whole lot of choice in the matter.

See that's what I wonder, I think it's more common that people have these secrets, but usually have told at least one close person before. Having several that you haven't uttered to a single soul, written in a journal, spoken in a prayer, etc seems a bit odd to me, I don't know, maybe I'm just feeling the weight of keeping things from people and that's my problem.

It makes me feel a sort of disconnect, that even my closest friends and family don't really know me, and it's a self imposed punishment so it's all the more irritating. I'm not gay either, that last sentence might have made if sound that way.

reply to post by James1982


I think everyone has secrets. But there are different types. For example, one person's deep, dark secret might be really explosive. If revealed, it may cause emotional trauma to themselves or another, or maybe it opens them up to legal liabilities. Another person's secret could be "this one time when I was 8, I stole a candy bar. I am mortified I did this, ashamed, and have always regretted it." Well that of secret, while personal, only matters to the secret keeper.

reply to post by James1982


I may be off the mark here so if I am, please forgive. There are things about me that even my best, longest and closest friend did not know so I do understand the disconnected feeling. In fact, it wasn't until recently that I realized (or she told me) how little I do actually talk to her about things and we'd known each other for over 20 years. I grew up in a home where there were multiple things that you didn't talk about or you didn't show. Spent a number of years being compared to a machine or robot. It really hurt and so I adjusted and adapted until I as closely approximated how everyone else behaved as I could. However, I might as well have been an automaton pretending to be human as I didn't ever really let anybody in and those few that I felt required to tell some of my secrets to, I let them know because I felt required to.

I didn't really question the way I was or anything like that until the last couple years and it wasn't until my best friend asked me what was going on that she finally made that observation. We talked for about 8 hours straight until I got it all out and for the first time in all those years of knowing each other, she saw me cry. Sounds weird but it was great. Sometimes walls can be constructed to protect oneself. Walls aren't healthy because they keep you from truly living. Just choose who you tell your secrets to wisely.

In my short time on this planet i've accumulated more then I probably should but I wouldn't change.

I learned more then I could have ever imagined otherwise.