I think my Sister's Fiance is cheating on her, should I tell her?

Originally posted by calstorm
Here is what you say, "Hey sis, it is probably nothing but this is what I saw (tell her exactly what you told us). I don't want to worry you, but it seemed a little odd and I am your brother and I have to look out for you."

This is exactly what I would say!

Proof or no proof, tell her what you suspect and why.

reply to post by dominicus

you should be sure. you can not say that he is cheating unless you have a proof.
anyhow you can do it yourself. you can be careful. but do not tell your sister unless you are sure or it is inevitable. but do not let them marry if you are suspicious.
females are sensitive. even if it is not true. if you say it to her. you have blocked that relation. I do not take the risk unless it is serious or inevitable or in case of marriage............

hey you have broken hearts of many girls, haven't you !?

reply to post by dominicus


find some evidence first then confront him with it, tell him if he doesn't tell your sister you will, then you will tell his mother what he has been doing and put it all over his Facebook and so on.

That's what i would do.

oh and if he is cheating on your sis make sure you physically assault him in someway.

reply to post by dominicus


You're a hypocrite, plain and simple. You claim the government spying on you and you spying on your future brother-in-law are two COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS!!!!

No, they're not.

It's just a matter of scale. The fact is you are interfering in your sister's life and in her fiance's life and you have no right to do so. It's none of your business. You're going to get in a heap of trouble if you pursue this, and it's trouble you will richly deserve.

Originally posted by schuyler
reply to post by dominicus

 

You're a hypocrite, plain and simple. You claim the government spying on you and you spying on your future brother-in-law are two COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS!!!!

No, they're not.

It's just a matter of scale. The fact is you are interfering in your sister's life and in her fiance's life and you have no right to do so. It's none of your business. You're going to get in a heap of trouble if you pursue this, and it's trouble you will richly deserve.

It IS completely different. He wasn't spying, just noticing things, now he has a reason to check into it further. The government randomly spies on it's people with NO basis, just checking. If it were my sister, you bet I would say something. Who wouldn't? Imagine the future split, parting of the assets, destruction of confidence, the negative effect on kids they might have, etc. and his sis finds out he suspected the cheating and didn't tell her. She would be even more devastated, kinda like "oh, I was the last to know and no one gave a hoot about me and my welfare and tried to warn me". This is one case where it's better to know sooner than later. And who WOULDN'T tell their brother or sister. Anyone who doesn't is a hypocrite, that's what brothers and sisters and really good friends do, they've got each other's back.

Originally posted by StoutBroux

Originally posted by schuyler
reply to post by dominicus

 

You're a hypocrite, plain and simple. You claim the government spying on you and you spying on your future brother-in-law are two COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS!!!!

No, they're not.

It's just a matter of scale. The fact is you are interfering in your sister's life and in her fiance's life and you have no right to do so. It's none of your business. You're going to get in a heap of trouble if you pursue this, and it's trouble you will richly deserve.

It IS completely different. He wasn't spying, just noticing things, now he has a reason to check into it further. The government randomly spies on it's people with NO basis, just checking. If it were my sister, you bet I would say something. Who wouldn't? Imagine the future split, parting of the assets, destruction of confidence, the negative effect on kids they might have, etc. and his sis finds out he suspected the cheating and didn't tell her. She would be even more devastated, kinda like "oh, I was the last to know and no one gave a hoot about me and my welfare and tried to warn me". This is one case where it's better to know sooner than later. And who WOULDN'T tell their brother or sister. Anyone who doesn't is a hypocrite, that's what brothers and sisters and really good friends do, they've got each other's back.

Schuyler, if you read the replies, the majority consensus here on this thread, is to look further into the situation and say something to one or both of them.

I understand that the majority isn't always right. However, let me put the shoe on the other foot and ask you the same question:

If you were being cheated on by your married partner, one that you have invested finances with into a house, furniture, dogs, 7+ years of your life, and your best friend or best sibling knew and did not tell you and did not do anything about it, that you would be fine with that??? Considering you'd be the last to find out or it would continue on and you would never find out while everyone else knew.

Who in they're right, sane mind, wouldn't want to know unless they were somehow mentally impared???

reply to post by dominicus

Normally I would say tell her. But really this sort of thing happens so often its kind of a brain fart as to why people are deaf to it, of which the only logical conclusion is some part of them knows but just does not want to face up to it, or simply does not care all that much and is willing to ride that bus it till they can get off at a better stop.

I have been going to the gym's for years, never have I once worn cologne as when you really start sweating it just mixes and makes things more stinky, deodorant and such ya, but even that is only in small quantities, I mean how many dudes have you seen wear cologne when at the gym that you can smell it on them from across the room? And more so, In fact 90% of the females you see there are usually married or have a boyfriend, or boyfriends. But once in a while you do see this sort of thing, and people do hook up there every once in a while. Some weeks ago saw a guy hit on a chick, all cool and calm as # he goes up to her and gets her phone number it was all in the confidence. And the next week he got some other girls phone number. So ya there is a bit of that going on, and ya the guy did smell his best, and he was there only for show really not necessarily to push himself in physical exercise. And besides I think the girls he was hitting on know what it was all about, its really there life and choices, some expect it, some look for it, after all you do hear them go on about guys with confidence and all that. In a way there wishes came true.

Generally bro I avoid that stuff like the plague because no matter what you do its a your damned if you do, and damned if you dont, sort of thing. And unless you really got some evidence that he is cheating on her I would not be jumping to any conclusions. The truth, I don't think this is your business. I'f I were you I would just tell your sister your suspicions and let her handle it, as its her life and one way or another she will have to deal with it, but stalking this guy and getting into his personal business you don't want to do. And if your sister cant handle a little possible bad news then she may need to grow some thicker skin, because life is full of bad news.

Personally I would like to end it as quickly as possible and everybody can move on before things just become more complicated, what with them getting a house, and who knows what else. But that is only me, I can not speak for other or your sister or you. But then again like I said, women have there intuition and they know about this stuff more so then they let on. Don't be surprised if she truly may not be all that surprised about any of this, even if she is devastated by it. That and you could just be jumping to conclusions.

Well no you don't tell your sister. You are suspicious and with fairly good reason, you confront him. You do not need to spy on him nor should you. You don't have to be mean or hurtful when you talk to him, just be straight about it. Other than that stay out of it, it is not really your place to get involved in it at all.

Well, if you are suspicious, but you have not enough solid evidence to ammount to anything, then the best thing I can advise, is psyops.

Dont let him KNOW that you suspect him, but throw the odd comment here and there. For instance, as he walks by you on the way out the door, look at him sideways a little bit and say something totally innocent like "Ah, thats a nice fragrance man. That must be one sweet smelling gym you go to!".

Or next time you suprise him when hes texting, and he fumbles his phone shut, just say "Sheesh dude, technology freaks me out too, but you might want to get that looked at !" you know the sort of thing I mean. Make him wonder. He will be so distracted trying to figure your angle out, that he will make a balls up somewhere along the line, and give himself away in an unrecoverable manner. For this situation, the scalpel is preferable to the axe, the thousand cuts better than the single blow.

In short, its time to get devious!

I think my Sister's Fiance is cheating on her, should I tell her?

YES. If I had a brother who knew my fiance was cheating and he didn't tell me ... I'd be ticked.
I'd be ticked at both the cheating fiance (who I should have dumped) and the brother who let
me marry a loser. So ... TELL.

reply to post by FlyersFan


Really if you couldn't figure it out on your own, you deserve to be cheated on.

reply to post by KeliOnyx


That is perhaps one of the most utterly disgusting things I have ever seen written on this website. People do not deserve to be cheated on, no one deserves that. People should be honest enough to leave relationships they arent committed to, before loosing thier pants to some new lover, and your support for people with morals which are only outstripped in thier looseness by the state of thier sexual organs, is perhaps the most ugly thing I have seen this year. Well played.

reply to post by dominicus


I dunno, it's delicate, what if you're wrong?? it could break them up if your sister listens to you and confronts her guy and finds it was all legit and he wasn't cheating. and also you admit you did it, so perhaps you are thinking all guys are like that, which is not true.... I would say, be careful how you handle what you think you know.... after all this is all just guess work from you.. wearing cologne is hardly a crime.. and we do often start to do things we didnt before, for no reason, maybe he just got to that stage and wants to just smell nice, anyway if it was me for what its worth, I would leave it alone, broken hearts mend, and lifes experiences make us stronger,,, and I know it is upsetting t witness if it were true, but if its not than all is well,,,,,

I am pretty sure the ops sister has some clue of what is going on. But srry to say this op you may love your sister but in general the female of any species is not that far removed from the males of any species. You know the story by now, since you yourself have played it out. You know were this is going most likely. Its a bizarre circle which has perpetuated itself for a long long time, but I am quite sure she will get the house in the alimony so, well, you know the rest of the story. Its not by chance that women are attracted to these sort of men, in fact the one he may be cheating on at the gym with have a inbuilt radar to pick up on this stuff, and some get off it and seek it out, even in this thread we have KeliOnyx dispensing advice toward that end.

Really, I don't know! It's up to you bro, but like I said whatever you do, its a damned if you do, and damned if you don't. I personally think pampering your sister may have lead to this sort of thing in the first place, but whatever. There are many definitions of love I suppose this whole thing is one such definition.

reply to post by galadofwarthethird


No I do not condone cheating. It amazes me day in and day out how many people just read what they want to. The thing is it isn't really his place to put himself in the situation. Either way he goes his sister will be angry with him. He can choose to confront the soon to be brother in law, and it may resolve the situation but even that has a degree of risk involved.

The statement I made in regards to deserving it. Well let's be blunt about it. If you are in a relationship and you have been living with someone a period of time, if you are not picking up on the changes you are being willfully ignorant. Most of the time if you are in a relationship and end up being cheated on it was because you were either too lazy, or apathetic to notice or communicate about the problems in your relationship. If you get cheated on odds are you are just as guilty of creating the conditions for it to happen to begin with.

reply to post by KeliOnyx

Ditto, that is what I said.

Though your definition of cheating and mine may differ somewhat, just like the op's definition and his sister or anybody else may differ. And in the end people see what they want to see, and will do what they want to do. That is all that is, and exists.

I'll tell you what's fishy. 8 months on a short sale. When lenders have already decided to take the loss, they like to finalize these as quickly as possible in order to get them off the books. You may be the one in the dark on something.
If they are able to acquire the financing it should take no more than a month. And that time will be due to the buyers, not the seller.

Humans are animals. Cheating is our nature, because relationships and marriage do nothing but inhibit our true sexual desires and abilities. Does a lion have sex with the same lion its entire life? No. Lions have tons of sex partners. So do famous people. Why are high up elitists involved In sex cults, and have tons of sex partners while us lower class humans have to get married and have sex with the same women the rest of our lives? And if we cheat.....we are EVIL. Were horrible, gross, disrespectful, etc. A male human being was created to have sex. Its his nature. He could court hundreds of women and still keep going. Yet we are binded to the conspiracy of marriage. Don't worry, it will soon be destroyed. (Now you know the subliminal of Frodo destroying "the ring") The NWO will not have marriage apart of its plans.

Originally posted by r666evolution
Humans are animals. Cheating is our nature, because relationships and marriage do nothing but inhibit our true sexual desires and abilities. Does a lion have sex with the same lion its entire life? No. Lions have tons of sex partners. So do famous people. Why are high up elitists involved In sex cults, and have tons of sex partners while us lower class humans have to get married and have sex with the same women the rest of our lives? And if we cheat.....we are EVIL. Were horrible, gross, disrespectful, etc. A male human being was created to have sex. Its his nature. He could court hundreds of women and still keep going. Yet we are binded to the conspiracy of marriage. Don't worry, it will soon be destroyed. (Now you know the subliminal of Frodo destroying "the ring") The NWO will not have marriage apart of its plans.

that is such a sad out look on life,

my mother and father have been married for almost 40 years and my grand parents were married for years as well up until my grandfather died.

there is nothing to say that any of the rest of us should/could be any different if we chose to.

Originally posted by r666evolution
Humans are animals. Cheating is our nature, because relationships and marriage do nothing but inhibit our true sexual desires and abilities. Does a lion have sex with the same lion its entire life? No. Lions have tons of sex partners. So do famous people. Why are high up elitists involved In sex cults, and have tons of sex partners while us lower class humans have to get married and have sex with the same women the rest of our lives? And if we cheat.....we are EVIL. Were horrible, gross, disrespectful, etc. A male human being was created to have sex. Its his nature. He could court hundreds of women and still keep going. Yet we are binded to the conspiracy of marriage. Don't worry, it will soon be destroyed. (Now you know the subliminal of Frodo destroying "the ring") The NWO will not have marriage apart of its plans.

Yeah, that's a sad outlook. I really dont want to assume, but based on your user name, it's hard not to.

Regardless, if you think all we are is animals, slaves to the passions of the lusts and instincts of the body, then maybe do some more homework. I know I;m not this body, have pre-existed prior to it, and will continue afterwards once the shell dies.

I know when I was in Love with my Ex for 7 years, all I could think about was her and only wanted to be with her. Sex when in Love is a billion times better than some random one night stand.

There's a difference between us and animals. We have morals, ethics, standards built into us all, they are universal and can be found in the Heart/Intuition/subconscious. Now the reason why many act the way you propose, is because the programming of the world, covers up the built in morals, and ego justifies whatever it wants.