This thread really struck a chord in me. I've been dealing with this for years myself. I'm ready to defeat it now though. Depression is a hard
battle to fight. Because most people can't just flip the switch, and make it go away. There has been some great advice in this thread so far!! I just
want to add my two cents. Sometimes, it just takes the right person, saying the right thing. To make the switch flip in your head. So I hope this
helps someone out there reading it.
It really depends on where you are at in your depression. For me, it got to the point, where I would have panic attacks. Your body can only take so
much. If you are at this point, you need to get in control of your mind. I am not a huge fan of man made medications. I don't want to be stable, by
depending on medications. I believe in getting back to normal, the way I was before the depression. Not being forced to be normal, by depending on
medications. Medications treat the symptoms, not the cause.
I came to the realization over the years. That the root cause of my depression, was due to not being able to accept the world the way it is. I think
alot of people that suffer from depression are highly sensitive people. So anything that happens, that we can't understand. (I.E. why someone treated
us the way they did etc..) It tends to drive us nuts. Because it just doesn't compute. We can't comprehend it. Because we would never even consider,
the course of action the other person chose ourselves.
Any time you get mad, frustrated, etc., in these situations. You need to come to the realization, that it is due to you not being able to understand
something about the situation. It's like a computer, that goes mad because something doesn't compute. If you think about it long enough, I think you
will be able to see what I mean by this. What makes it worse, is the majority of the time, there is no way to come to an understanding as to why it
happened. Or why that course of action was taken in the first place. Either because the person won't talk about it. or it's something that we
witness happening to someone else, where we can't ask for answers etc..
I've found trying to talk to other people about it, helps very little as well. They haven't lived your life, so it is very hard for others to
relate. Therapists, as mentioned previously, are worthless IMO. I don't mean to burst anyones bubble here. But I've been there, and done that
numerous times. I tell them about how my "minister" dad, told me "I don't love you anymore". Or how I was treated like a foster kid by my
parents growing up, while my adopted brother was the golden child. I tell them about the company I worked for, firing me because I was "a threat to
the company". And how they said, I had threatened to bomb the building I worked in. Or the teacher in college, that accused me of making a death
threat against him.
Or how my Army recruiter, lied to me about how to get into the Army's band. How I had to count down three years, in what was an equivelant to minimum
security prison. Then being held in past my enlistment date, due to the first Persian Gulf Crisis. How I was being forced to go kill innocent
Iraqi's, that were in turn being forced to fight me. How the military refused to let me file for contientious objector status, when I never joined to
kill anyone. I just wanted to serve my country, by playing in the band. Or how I finally ended up having to go AWOL, to avoid being forced to kill
other human beings. Etc. etc.etc.. I've have literally brought therapists to tears, with my life story. When it comes time to give me advice, they
are dumbfounded. Or like I said, useless. The funny part is, it's not their fault. I wouldn't have known what to tell me either!
I am not telling any of this to you all, for sympathy. I don't like dwelling on the negative. But when I see other people suffering from depression,
it breaks my heart. Trust me, I know your pain. The only reason, I am telling you all of this, is so that you can see. That if I can climb out of all
of this, you can too!!!! As the song says, "everybody hurts sometimes". The key, is getting past it. You may go on a journey for years, trying to
figure out why it happened. I know from experience, that you may never be able to get to those answers. You may never be able to understand, the
why's of things that happened in your life. Some people simply won't tell you. Others may have past on, to the next life etc.. So what then? Do you
just give up, and live in misery the rest of your life, because you can't get the questions answered?
I don't know about all of you, but I AM NOT a quitter. I am a fighter at heart. Never give up, and never give in. Because the bottom line here is
that if you do, who is living your life? Who is carrying that negative energy, that was passed on to you? Life is about free will. If you let these
negative things rule your life, you are not the winner. Which is evidenced by your depression. Winners aren't depressed. They are happy, because they
persevered. They fought the adversity in their lives, and they won.
So the best advice I can give anyone here, was best said by Michael Jordan. JUST DO IT. Life isn't easy, and there is ALWAYS, going to be an excuse
to not try harder. There is always going to be an excuse, to give up. Or to feel sorry for yourself, because of what you have been through. The key is
getting past it, whatever it takes. I love the advice given here by Daniel191159! He hit the nail on the head. Use this negative energy, that you have
stored inside of you. And turn it into a positive. Use it to motivate you. View life as a challenge, that you have to fight to overcome. In order to
do this, you have to be realistic about this life.
The reality is, there are alot of people in this world that are angry. They are angry, because they have been hurt as well. The reason these people do
these things to you, is because they have lost the will to care about what they are doing to you. They don't care about anyone but themselves,
because they are in self preservation mode. In order to care, you have to feel. If you feel, then you have to feel the pain of your experiences. Some
poeple don't want to do that. They would rather shut off their feelings completely, and have the attitude of being out for number one. Rather than
having to feel, and care about their actions. Or how they affect others. So any time these people do these negative things to you, don't let it
change you!!!!! If you let it change you, they win. Not only that, but if you let all of these things affect you. Who exactly is in charge of your
life? I'll give you all a hint, it's not you. If you were in charge of you, you wouldn't let other people dictate how you feel. Which is exactly
what you are doing, when you allow yourself to be depressed.
Please take note, of how I phrased that last thought. You are allowing yourself to be depressed. I am not saying your feelings are invalid. I'm not
saying, that you have no right to feel sorry for yourself. I am saying that you are allowing yourself to stay there, in those feelings for days,
months, or even years. To quote U2, "you are stuck in a moment, and can't get out of it".
So let me sum up this book, by making one last point. You can stay in your depression, as long as you allow yourself to. We all ultimately, want to be
happy in this life. So what makes more sense? To continue to stay in the depression, until you are forced to take action. I.E. get to the point, where
you are a step away from being homeless etc.. Because you didn't have the will to fight. Continue to feel the stress, and have physical ailments due
to the stress etc.. Or to put it all behind you, and face the adversity head on?
Either way you are going to face the adversity, sooner or later. So what sense does it make, to continue on the same path? If you want to be happy in
this life. The bottom line, is that it is going to take effort on your part to get to where you want to be. So it all boils down, to when you are
going to reach that happiness. Sooner, or later. Unless of course, you are content in being homeless etc.. I.E. don't care about yourself, and your
own well being. In which case, I don't know how to reach you. Just as all of the therapists in the world, didn't know how to reach me.
But if you do care, and you still want to ultimately reach your happiness. When I was faced with this ultimatum. I decided, I would rather reach my
happiness. Sooner, rather then later. If I'm going to face adversity either way. I would rather do it, because I want to. Rather then when I have to.
Especailly if it means getting out of the depression sooner, rather then later. For myself, it just makes good sense.
Peace, Love, and Happiness!