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Righteous (AAC)

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posted on Aug, 20 2013 @ 09:00 PM
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.....

Thank you all for following this story!



Seriously. With my crummy internet and the craziness happening with my family this month, this story seemed like a big long project I had to work on every day, and it ended up a lot longer than I had intended. But I wanted to make it perfect, according to my style and my values, and my character's values.

I'm sorry I didn't reply to all of you right off, I really wanted to finish tonight.


I can't believe so many of you are reading it... Ya'll know how to inspire someone!


I hope you all enjoyed it, and thank you very much for all the stars, flags, and compliments. It means a lot more than I can explain here that I have story followers now.


I love you guys!

EDIT; Also, I apologize for some of the minor typos in the story. I promise, as many times as I've edited and backtracked, some of the typos went unnoticed until it was too late for me to edit the post and correct them.

Thanks again, guys!


edit on 20-8-2013 by XxNightAngelusxX because: (no reason given)




posted on Aug, 22 2013 @ 05:22 AM
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And also... has anyone read the ending yet?

Everyone seems to have vanished.



posted on Aug, 22 2013 @ 06:18 AM
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reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 



That ending was superb!

I am sorry it took a couple of days to get around to reading it, but I had the day off yesterday, and spent it at my buddies place, knocking back vast amounts of cider, and consuming burgers twice the size of a large mans fist! Having read it, I love the way you resolved the scenario, and I also like that you threw in the mention of Adrian at the end there, implying that Adrian had previously escaped Crimson, rather than having been merely killed, and that Jade would have the oppertunity to reunite with her father.

I also like the way you depict the relationship between Jade and Judas. I do not know if this was the intention, but the soul sharing, the ability they have to share life force with one another is a brilliant illumination of the way a relationship with someone can give a person the strength to battle through circumstances which might otherwise confound them totally. In short, this was a brilliant bit of story telling from begining to end, and it was an honour to witness its creation.

Thank you for sharing this story with us!



posted on Aug, 22 2013 @ 07:21 AM
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Originally posted by TrueBrit
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 



That ending was superb!

I am sorry it took a couple of days to get around to reading it, but I had the day off yesterday, and spent it at my buddies place, knocking back vast amounts of cider, and consuming burgers twice the size of a large mans fist! Having read it, I love the way you resolved the scenario, and I also like that you threw in the mention of Adrian at the end there, implying that Adrian had previously escaped Crimson, rather than having been merely killed, and that Jade would have the oppertunity to reunite with her father.

I also like the way you depict the relationship between Jade and Judas. I do not know if this was the intention, but the soul sharing, the ability they have to share life force with one another is a brilliant illumination of the way a relationship with someone can give a person the strength to battle through circumstances which might otherwise confound them totally. In short, this was a brilliant bit of story telling from begining to end, and it was an honour to witness its creation.

Thank you for sharing this story with us!


Thanks for being the first reviewer Tru!


You're very generous... I'm humbled.


The story had to be deep and dangerous enough for death to still be a factor, but it still needed to be happy and hopeful too. And Jade and Judas represent the strength of love between two very innocent souls, and the sharing of energy truly is an expression of their intimacy... I love that you picked up on all this.

I like to give people a slight *shock* at the end of stories... ~tossed in Adrian at the end~


I'm actually surprised at myself too... a lot of times my short stories aren't my best work.

But this is, by far, my best so far.

Thanks so much for following friend (and the gigantic burgers sound like a damn good way to spend a day off, I wish I was there)



posted on Aug, 22 2013 @ 07:24 AM
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reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 


I ain't vanished lol. Just at gym having a Min! Will read later today



posted on Aug, 22 2013 @ 07:45 AM
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Originally posted by TheDoctor46
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 


I ain't vanished lol. Just at gym having a Min! Will read later today


Sa'll good! I'm about to do the same... only... not going to a gym. I use my living room.


Sorry if I seem impatient. I poured my heart into this story... anticipating the reviews like the results of a scary blood test or something...


Peace!



posted on Aug, 22 2013 @ 07:53 AM
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Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX
Thanks so much for following friend (and the gigantic burgers sound like a damn good way to spend a day off, I wish I was there)


Well, if you ever find yourself this side of the ocean, feel free to drop by. My buddies and I require virtually no provocation to construct enormous munchables!



posted on Aug, 23 2013 @ 12:24 AM
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reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 


Waited until the end before responding.
(Although I did flag this a while back....
)

One of the best stories, if not the best to come out of this comp so far. You have a gift for telling of tales, don't let anyone tell you any differently.


Oh and don't stress too much about typos and wayward grammar. To me the inability to edit your works after a certain time makes them more raw and original without it, and in the end it's a contests for amatuers without endless scores of grammar correction, the storyline and the tell is more important IMO.

I even felt the mispelled title (yeah I noticed that one too lol), should be left as is, as some far flung evolution of words rather than a giant spelling error. Kind of like futurama's "aks you a question" or the use of "xmas" as an actual word...


Well done, S&F and my vote.



posted on Aug, 23 2013 @ 05:46 PM
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Originally posted by 74Templar
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 


Waited until the end before responding.
(Although I did flag this a while back....
)

One of the best stories, if not the best to come out of this comp so far. You have a gift for telling of tales, don't let anyone tell you any differently.


Oh and don't stress too much about typos and wayward grammar. To me the inability to edit your works after a certain time makes them more raw and original without it, and in the end it's a contests for amatuers without endless scores of grammar correction, the storyline and the tell is more important IMO.

I even felt the mispelled title (yeah I noticed that one too lol), should be left as is, as some far flung evolution of words rather than a giant spelling error. Kind of like futurama's "aks you a question" or the use of "xmas" as an actual word...


Well done, S&F and my vote.


Thanks a lot!


I just wanted people to know I noticed the typos and I wasn't trying to be careless... I'm kind of a perfectionist with my stories and drawings.

I understand what you mean about the *evolution* of words...

Like the difference between Pluto and Plyuto in 2077.


Thanks for the feedback!



posted on Aug, 24 2013 @ 07:17 AM
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Wow! That was awesome!
Really great....I just loved it!
jacygirl



posted on Aug, 24 2013 @ 07:27 AM
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Originally posted by jacygirl
Wow! That was awesome!
Really great....I just loved it!
jacygirl


Thanks a lot!



posted on Aug, 25 2013 @ 04:07 AM
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reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 


Well that was just excellent NA. Well worthy of any internet story forum. Sorry it took a while to finish it, I always seem to get bogged down with jobs these days, And i really wanted to be alone and have time to read it properly. You have a real talent. And more than just writing. Your artwork is something else. And you have a great head on your shoulders to. It seems to me that you are going to make the right decisions in life. And go and get what you want
......Can i have your autograph when you get writer status



posted on Aug, 25 2013 @ 05:06 AM
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Originally posted by TheDoctor46
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 


Well that was just excellent NA. Well worthy of any internet story forum. Sorry it took a while to finish it, I always seem to get bogged down with jobs these days, And i really wanted to be alone and have time to read it properly. You have a real talent. And more than just writing. Your artwork is something else. And you have a great head on your shoulders to. It seems to me that you are going to make the right decisions in life. And go and get what you want
......Can i have your autograph when you get writer status


You flatter me, sir


I really appreciate it, seriously. Like... a lot.


I'm terrible at taking compliments.. ehhh. I'm the same way with any kind of reading, or watching a show you may be obsessed with (cough cough cough DOCTOR WHO cough cough cough). Gotta have undivided attention.


I'm really happy you liked it, thanks friend



posted on Aug, 25 2013 @ 05:23 AM
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reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 
..

...Yes figured you was a Dr Who fan...
.....And Good luck
.....Ps i think Tennant was by far the best doctor!



posted on Aug, 25 2013 @ 05:31 AM
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Originally posted by TheDoctor46
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 
..

...Yes figured you was a Dr Who fan...
.....And Good luck
.....Ps i think Tennant was by far the best doctor!


Why can't I give you ALL THE STARS?

Oh my God. You and I are best friends now.

Like... seriously.

Tennant. Was. MY DOCTOR.

I loooooves!!!!

Okay... its not in me to fangirl. I'm done.

Peace!



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