Abusing the Muse, thievery, denying cast spells

What exactly is a Muse, anyway? For you I seem to serve all the purposes that a Muse does, except I get nothing but feces flung back at me in return. I guess those hookers were Muses to Jack the Ripper - he ripped out what he needed and left those sad, lowly creatures where they belonged, right? So I'm a little more like them than some Goddess, judging by the treatment I've received from you. I'm more like one of Charlie Sheen's "Goddesses", judging by the treatment I've received from you.

If you're Good, refusing to answer honest queries is a major sin.
If you're Bad, it's obvious that you would refuse to answer anything in order to hide your true intentions and the origins of what you do.
Sharing is not on one person's terms only: i.e., you grabbing my toys, then refusing to share yours. I've even seen toys that you stole from me all over town! On covers, in text, in pictures, sometimes hidden with just a little tiny bit showing. Those belong to me! In fact, I don't even want your toys, I just wanted a friend to share with, that's all.
I've never been credited, answered, shown any kind of respect. Anything I'm "given", anything that is "shared" with me, is done on your terms only. And the things that I "share" with you are quickly snatched from me and paraded all over town! A pot-bellied Australian was sashaying around with something that is MINE! He makes it look stupid! He degrades me.
Are you just afraid to admit the source because then everyone will shop there and all the good stuff will no longer belong to you exclusively? (HELLO, that's already happened! They've labeled me, cut me into the appropriate sections, and given me away to anyone who asked for a slice! All that's left is what I'm clinging to with my cold, eh... cool hands.)


So if you're Good, refusing to tend to my basic needs is a huge sin. Denying me those things is CRUEL and HATEFUL. "Never on my timeline", eh? What about when I'm starving, ask for bread, and all I get is a big fat stone rolled across the doorway? I'm pretty sure that's a sin, even that dick Jesus said he wouldn't do that. (Or was that just another sex joke, that bread and stone thing? Probably.) So since nothing can ever be based on my immediate needs, I conclude that you are:
Bad. Just using me. In the typical RC mindset of Vonnegut, some out-of-touch rich old man observing his fellow humans like he's at a pet store. "I hereby decree, since I am an Important Old War Vet, that Everyone [you] must be Used for something, Used and Used Up until there ain't nothing left! Blllaaarrrgggghhhh!!" (that's a verbatim quote, and at the end he spews fire at a bunch of poor people and then writes a story about how noble their burnt corpses are. And then the baby came out of the burning bush, and the baby winked at me! I swear this is what happened.]
I am not a resource to be used. Someone's just been waiting to TAP me this whole time, huh? That was the point of all of this?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?! That is truly, truly pathetic. What's even more pathetic, just gut-wrenchingly pitiful, is that is ALL THERE IS. THAT IS THE POINT OF EVERYTHING. THAT IS WHAT EARTH IS FUELED BY. Sex and death. People being used and used up to the point of expiration. Then discarded in a heap with no further thought to "who" was inside that dirty old thing. Like someone very similar to me once "said", eh, something like "Am I washable?" Am I??

You can see me - do you ever look in my eyes and wonder "who" is inside me? Or do you only read my multitude of labels to figure that out? I gaze into animal's eyes and try to see who's back there. I show animals that dignity and really mean it - can't you at least give me that much dignity, to find out who's actually back there rather than treating me like a material to be manipulated? A metal is not something noble, it's not even alive. Yes, I am constituted of certain elements, and my history goes like this, and my hair is this color, and I look like this person, and my name is this mix of this stuff, and I did like that song a lot, cool, and yeah, that movie was good now that you mention it, yeah, I'll order it off Amazon, and yeah, I do like to go shopping - oh - so that's a good mall in the area? Sweet. I'll check it out. Hey, do you know any places in town to get my nails done? Hey -- what kind of car do you drive? Could you get me one just like it? Maybe some decent jewelry while you're at it?

You've convinced me that I'm not shallow and that I shouldn't sell myself short or degrade myself, but the moment I agree with you, I'm wrong. Then I get pinned down and degraded again with a mess of symbols and orders and I get the sense again that I'm just being used, or being done some kind of sick favor. No one ever admitting anything was done, like a group of gross old Mafia guys nonchalantly straightening their ties after they stabbed some guy to death (I'm the stabbed guy, k). Stabbing, pinning, coming only when I don't call - gee, sounds a lot like a metaphorical crime, don't it?

So what is it - marriage or just another slave for your harem? Is there a third option?
This whole thing has been uncomfortable for me because of this reason: I sensed that I was not the GOAL, but simply an INGREDIENT to help you further some distant aim of your own, to fuel your own goals that are separate from me. Am I anything besides the elements you can label? LOVE is the part you can't label, LOVE is the part you cannot understand and cannot extract from me, no matter how hard you suck. No matter how long you forage through my brain and heart and guts for it, you'll never find it. Scrounge and grab all you want, but you'll come back with nothing to show for it but some scratches and bruises, old "friend". They don't mean LOVE in the way that I mean it anyway. Same way they don't mean anything the way I mean it, because I always mean it in a naive, gullible, childish, pure way. They mean it in a cynical, sexual, joke's-on-you kind of way. Their posse is just a way outdated club for mean little boys, who grew up but didn't want to, and no amount of hair grease can fix that for you.

Seacrest OUT!

P.S. You, them, me, past, future, present tenses a mess because that's how it goes when stuff ain't planned. Just speaking from my heart, brains, guts, you know, all that internal good stuff you're after. Grammar ain't good, spelling's good though, plus, if I can decipher your mess, you surely can decipher mine...

Don't be hating, hoi polloi, just move along if you feel a compulsion...

Kind of in the spirit of this comment

So like, if I'm forced to come to terms with my secrets, everything I've felt, done, thought, wrote, then why not you too? Is that such a terrible, verboten question?!?!?! - "Do you mean what you say? Do you actually think what you wrote? Do you feel the way that you've referenced?"

Well, DO YOU?!

This is what every form of art, everything, EVERYTHING comes down to:

this

this

or

this

and

this


That's Earth for ya! That's all they got!

The Muse left me some time ago...and rightly so I suppose, looking back on it. I could say more but you pretty much summed it up, so why break the words in your mouth and try and place them in mine?

I payed a price for it though and things will never be the same. But I do hope someday I am inspired again.
As I am learning the value of Love...

We keep putting one foot in front of the other... waiting for the all clear.

I see.

So as we don't know the real you, we take you as that which you write, but does it do you justice?

Well, I'm not sure what your message is, something about how the earth is unfulfilling and sucked the life out of you after you bled for it?

I'm intrigued, because I want to understand what you say, but I'll be honest and tell you I don't understand.

It's like waking up from surgery in the middle of it and punching the doctor in the face. Seriously, the doctor had it coming. Smug prick.

I like how you write, very descriptive and explosively emotional. It is with sincerity that I say I often write about the muse but I have never been able to personify her as exquisitely as you have...

reply to post by rawheroine

I can dig the rant of others not caring for you except how you help or benefit them. Self centered, selfish, self indulgent. Discarding you when you are spent, used up or burnout.

Like a cigarette butt... flick

Those aren't your friends. Don't throw your pearls before swine.

You make only a few real friends in this lifetime.

(not to overdo it on morbidity, but-)

"It was like a joke mousetrap I once saw,
the mouse just went on and things moved,
it couldn't ever turn back, but just on and on
into cleverer and cleverer traps
until the end."

It's that thing like Madon na was afraid of, somehow I left a bunch of pieces of my DNA lying around and some people took it and are doing God knows what with it. I know I left it there, I guess it's fair game, but it's still part of me!
(***DISCLAIMER * DISCLAIMER * DISCLAIMER *** This Thread Written By Me Is What We Call Metaphorical Crazy Talk For The Purpose Of Self Expression And Learning .... Yes I Mean What I Say But Maybe Not In A Way You Know About, Knawmean? Don't 5150 me, bro!)

reply to post by intrptr


Thanks intrptr! I appreciate the good advice, and I agree, no pearls before swine. (Except in special cases like when I post stuff on the internet! Then it's toss the pearls into the void and see what happens, if anything.)

So am I Michael Bluth, misunderstanding every detail of my family's evil machinations, only because I am so well-meaning and innocent that I can't comprehend their twists and turns, or am I Charlize T. as the retarded girlfriend? I mean, the answer's clear, but could I possibly be both? OK, fine, I know which one I am.

Originally posted by rawheroine
So am I Michael Bluth, misunderstanding every detail of my family's evil machinations, only because I am so well-meaning and innocent that I can't comprehend their twists and turns, or am I Charlize T. as the retarded girlfriend? I mean, the answer's clear, but could I possibly be both? OK, fine, I know which one I am.

You are not misunderstood nor "retarded". You are a beautiful human being. I wondered what relationship you were speaking of, I too have these exact same family problems. I thought I recognized it when I read your post. Know you are not alone. Also know you are seeing clearly about this. And you can't change anyone. You don't even have to try. Protect your own emotions.

DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOURS TRULY!!!!


pinned, framed

They're sick people, y'all
(don't 5150 me brah)
I could use some Ghostbusters right now... I've got an infestation.
Does anyone know where they sell that RC-B-GONE spray? Tryin to get these creepy slimy creatures to stop bugging me. Isn't there anyone in charge of these little boys?? Get em outta here before I have to fumigate!!

Is this what you guys buy there? Poor things. The people who collect dead animals, I mean. The animals themselves are long gone!!
Matter of fact, as we stated earlier, anything you're trying to get from the animal is gone at that point.
If you want me for any of my synechdoches, art "buddies", the part that you want of me will be long departed by the time you get your slippery ham hands on my parts.

To quote En Vogue: "Mmmmmmmm....BOP!" (or was that Hanson?!)
No, it's the part that comes after that. Never gonna get it, Doctor MacDougall!

Originally posted by abeverage
The Muse left me some time ago...and rightly so I suppose, looking back on it. I could say more but you pretty much summed it up, so why break the words in your mouth and try and place them in mine?

I payed a price for it though and things will never be the same. But I do hope someday I am inspired again.
As I am learning the value of Love...

If you have the capacity for self-reflection, the Muse will always come back!
The people I'm dealing with, however, do not have reflections.

Originally posted by abeverage
I like how you write, very descriptive and explosively emotional. It is with sincerity that I say I often write about the muse but I have never been able to personify her as exquisitely as you have...

Thank you very much. It's a personal reality for me, so abstracting it, archetyping it, and thrashing around as much as possible is all I can think to do.