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Face to Face with a hoarder...Or hoarders...trying not to spew on the floor.

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posted on Aug, 6 2013 @ 10:56 PM
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As a Social Work major at Indiana University I think that you are now my role model! I am setting out to make a difference, and must admit that your approach is brilliant. I do not want to take people's children, but some how implement creative methods for bringing forth a stark realization, that will invoke a sense of responsibility to be a better parent among those who need to be called out. If we could infiltrate the system as those who truly seek to better humanity, rather than praise a flawed system the world will be a better place.




posted on Aug, 6 2013 @ 11:07 PM
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i did work in the construction industry for 25 + years and some of the things i saw in that time blew me away people crapping in the bath
you name it i saw it over the years i think i found 2 bodies just going to paint windows and looking in to see them
.

animals do not live the way some humans do one lady i went to do work for had 25 cats that crapped every where when you opened the door the smell knocked you down . .

you would not believe the rest trust me



posted on Aug, 7 2013 @ 12:06 AM
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reply to post by geobro
 


I believe that there is no worse smell than cat excrement.



posted on Aug, 7 2013 @ 12:20 AM
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Originally posted by dave_welch
reply to post by geobro
 


I believe that there is no worse smell than cat excrement.
yip and the fleas that were on them .

dont think you have smelled rotting human yet it is a kind of sweet smell you never ever forget



posted on Aug, 7 2013 @ 05:38 AM
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I have had problems with hoarding for years, although my dishes aren't dirty. I let things stack up, instead of dealing with it. I didn't know how bad my wife's problem with hoarding was until she passed away recently. Due to an auto accident shortly after she passed, I had to recruit my mother and brother to help with the cleaning. It was unbeleviable. She kept every thing. I had to go through every thing to assure I wasn't discarding anything important. We finished the majority of it yesterday. Now I just have to put things back together.

I admitted to having a problem with hoarding. I love books, and I can't begin to estimate how many hundreds of volumes I have. I am dealing with my problem. I will go through the ones I have read, and those will be donated to the local public library. These are not books of fiction, but history and political science.

Many people need professional help with this, and I have received some help. My hoarding, and my wife's gave us a since of security. Since my beloved passed away, I have decided to deal with it.

If children and animals are involved, indeed you need to notify CPS and animal control.



posted on Aug, 7 2013 @ 06:43 AM
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Originally posted by openyourmind1262
I mean there's kids living there,

I haven't gotten past the opening post so I don't know if you've addressed this yet or not ...
but did you call Child Protective Services? I would have ....
Seriously .. if you haven't .. please do so. NOW.

ETA .. okay ... you answered it here ....


Originally posted by openyourmind1262
It has crossed my mind, but that's a step I really do not know if I am ready to take. IMHO it's not my place to do this. These people have relatives & friends, it should be something they do not me.

Family and friends won't call Child Protective Services. And, because family and friends are used to it, they are probably desensitized to it. You can call anon. and not give your name. The health of those children are more important than anything .... please consider calling CPS.

edit on 8/7/2013 by FlyersFan because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 7 2013 @ 06:45 AM
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To the OP: You handled this well. I appreciated being able to read your thought processes and kind of be along with you for the development of the situation. It's nice to see the How in a respectable management of a questionable situation. Some people think it's Black & White, trying to live by the Golden Rule, but it is not. There's those who would walk away, saying "Nope, can't do the floor" & go on with the next item of business, and there's those who would immediately call Child Protective Services & Codes Encorcement, in a sort of selfrighteous indignation which is easily acted upon and requires no other follow through on one's behalf. But you thoughtfully considered the position of power you were in. I really find it apt & oquent, the way a previous member's post said it shows empathy to consider one's actions in regards tohow others are affected. I've found that reasonable people can trust their gut on things, and you felt a twinge that these people in this home were "Off" & maybe subconsciously found a way to do the right thing, in a measured way. Im not eloquent right now & am too wordy, but you get the drift.
Just wanted to say 'Bravo' for fretting in the first place, and handling it in that manner after due consideration.
edit on 7-8-2013 by kkrattiger because: Loquent? Really? Short for 'uses words good'



posted on Aug, 7 2013 @ 07:40 AM
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reply to post by openyourmind1262
 


First question i have is how old are the kids? no matter what age the kids are its very bad for them to be in. But if they are say 5 years or younger i would have great concern or if they did not attend public schools. Reason being is if they goto public schools. They would get eyes over the shoulder. If you know what i mean. or atlest give the kid easy access to let others know whats going on in that house.

If you say something directed to them about it. they will prob make a excuses on why its like the way it is. and will prob blow you off. I would try to find a polite way of telling them. Make a joke and dance around it so to say. on the 2nd time you come back if the house is still as bad. Maybe a call to CSB is in order. Kids should not have to live that way. when kids live that way and get older they tend to live same way. very unhealthy for everyone around at that point. But dont call CSB just after 1 visit. When i went into the hospital for a sickness for 2 months when i came home my house was a mess as well. granted i do not think it was that bad. so maybe you just came at a bad time? thats why i ask to make the call until the 2nd visit or if you find out a primary person is not available like somebody in hospital or some sort.



posted on Aug, 7 2013 @ 08:06 AM
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reply to post by schuyler
 


Your right. Hoarding is a "relative term" I have 8 cats, does that mean I'm hoarding them? NO. I have a exstensive collection of firearms, does that mean I'm hoarding them? No. I have tons & tons of tools for my business, Im I hoarding them ? NO. You dont see my firearms laying all about the house, You dont see my cats crapping in the floor or the smell that comes with that. You dont see my tools piled to the waste line around my home. If you came in my home you would be hard pressed to even know I own 1 cat let alone 8. This comes from taking pride in what you have and keeping it clean and tidy. I dont mean 100% clean 100% of the time, But 75% clean 100% of the time.

I agree with some other posters hoarding & just damn nasty are two seperate things entirely. I witnessed nasty, I witnessed two grown arse folks who do zilch in the aspect of cleaning their home and surroundings. I Have found out the kids are 15 & 13 Not little kids. No infants. If folks want to live in a nasty situation, it's their business. I have no say. But when you calll me into that same nasty situation, then I feel as though I now have a say. As far as directly calling DSS I could never do that. The way I went about this was a little under the table, but it is what it is. It's what I can live with.

To address another issue. I am not independently wealthy. I need that work and could use that money. Is it gonna make me or break me? No. Would it have been a good lil job minus the nasty.Yes. Would I still do the florring job if the home was cleaned up.Sure would.

So far my inbox is empty and no phone calls with cussing. If faced with this again. I now have more info to come to a decision as to which way to proceed. (Pause) Well so much for no phone calls, was just called by my friend Tim, they made contact with home owner yesterday and have made an appointment to inspect for Thursday.. He told them it was based on my visit and that I claim a dangerous living condition. So much for remaining in the shadows. Will let you guys know when I know. Did not want it to go this way. Did'nt want this.



posted on Aug, 7 2013 @ 08:11 AM
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reply to post by cbaskins
 


Thanks for the compliment. I am only a role model for my kids. Taking these folks kids isnt gonna help them with their problems, will probally make it worse. Now Im the damn bad guy in all this in these folks eyes.



posted on Aug, 8 2013 @ 04:51 AM
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reply to post by openyourmind1262
 


You came to a reasoned decision after thinking and seeking advice. If you secondguess & regret decisions based on how it was judged by others & how they react regardless of their own responsibility, and/or by the way subsequent unknowables unfold, you've got a time-consuming and mentally stressful burden. Be kind to yourself. You did a right thing, not a wussy thing. In my opinion that is measures more valuable in selfassessment, than being comfortably in the fold, offending no one, leaving this world a same place.



posted on Aug, 8 2013 @ 07:34 AM
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reply to post by kkrattiger
 


Your right i know. But I still feel a sense of guilt. I know this will balloon on me. I appreciate the amount of advice I received in this thread. You can allways count on the members of ATS community to give sound advice on a whole host of topics. I know I will still have to handle all this. I had no e-mail or phone calls last evening. And so far zero this morning. I spoke with and old work friend last night who knows this family....knows them well. He the wife and myself were at one time all employed at the same electrical contractor. He and I were electricians and she was a service manager. When we worked together you would never know the situation at her home.... From what Ive found out, it's been this way for a long. long time. I was told it's allways been the way it is now.

I dont know how it's gonna shake out. I hope it all works out well and that I dont lose to much business because of it. I have my doubts. We live in the south and news travels faster than the speed of light. Bad news even faster. It is what it is. Have a great day and thanks. OYM1262



posted on Aug, 8 2013 @ 08:18 AM
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I realize that being a hoarder is a mental disorder but I can't help but wonder what percentage is mental and what percentage is just outright laziness...Also, how much of hoarding is passed down from one generation to the next? It is a strange thing this hoarder issue...SMH...
I do not think you are the bad guy in all this...At least not in my opinion, I would think worse if you had not done anything at all...
edit on 8/8/13 by shells4u because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 8 2013 @ 08:46 AM
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reply to post by shells4u
 


I can say this much. You can watch the T.V. show . But until you actually are confronted with it up close and personal the t.v. show dont do it justice. I too wonder what is hoarding & what is just being a damn slob. It was said in the thread that hoarding was a "relative term". Do you think that ? I dont know if I do. I mean I have alot of stuff, stuff for work, stuff for play, collections of sports stuff, firearms, cats, more home canned goodness than we can fit in the storeroom. Is that hoarding? I make my wifes wine, we have about 200 bottles in the storeroom and two carboys working as I write. Is that hoarding?

I have to say after much thought and re-thought, what I dealt with was pure nasty, just two grown asre adults who are willing to live in filth and allow their two teens to live the same way. Two grown people who arent willing to take the time to wash dishes, or sweep the floor, or clean a toilet. You have to wonder, which one was this way, the man or the woman and which made the other cross over to the slobbery side. The odds of them both being this way when it all started way way back, is remote at the best. One conformed to the other. And it looks as if their gonna pass it along to their kids. I will not lie. The more I think about all this the less I feel guilty, the less I feel it's hoarding....and the more I feel it's just being a lazy damn slob.

After a conversation last night with a mutual friend of these folks, I understand they have allways been this way. I did not see "hoarding" I saw un-clean home which has never IMHO been cleaned the first time. What I saw on that floor in the kitchen has been there a long long long time. Two adults who hold down two full time jobs, a boat, a camper, two cars & a truck should not live this way. It's just nasty. Having the means not to live this way & then choosing to do so. Is just damn nuts. As the rain and threat of rain has cancelled my work day, all this talk has put me in the mood to clean up. Watch out hall closet....here I come.
edit on 8-8-2013 by openyourmind1262 because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 8 2013 @ 01:19 PM
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I'll trade you 1 jar of homemade NM red chile sauce for 1 bottle ofyour 200 botles of wine! My husband doesnt cosume sauce like your wife does wine, but there's MUCH less of it (as in, makin a small batch tomorrow) so scarcity of sauce = popularity of your wine... Fair trade IMHumbleO



posted on Aug, 8 2013 @ 02:52 PM
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reply to post by openyourmind1262
 

I googled image search on hoarding and another on slobs....I can't tell the difference between these two pics...can you?

hoarder
slob



posted on Aug, 8 2013 @ 03:42 PM
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reply to post by shells4u
 


If you took away about a third of that first pic, that's what I dealt with. I too have been reading up on the hoarding thing. My thing is if you can afford to not live that way why the hell do they chose too. At first in this I was ashamed for these folks. Now I'm a little angry. I mean they both have really good jobs, and probally bring in around 150 thousand together each year. For the area, that's big money. And live in nasty, boggles the mind. So far I have not heard a word from anybody.

It's obvious they are bring their kids up the same way. Children learn valuble lessons from their parents, I wonder what these two are learning? Hall closet is as clean as a whistle, wife will be pleased.
edit on 8-8-2013 by openyourmind1262 because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 8 2013 @ 04:18 PM
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reply to post by shells4u
 


I can see the difference. They are both horrendous, but the top pic is more "stuff", i.e., items like blankets, boxes and bags with stuff in them, etc. The bottom pic is mostly trash - empty fast food bags, soft drink cups, etc. The person who owns the stuff in the top pic would not part with that stuff without having an anxiety attack. The person from the bottom pic probably wouldn't care if their trash was thrown away, they are just too lazy (or mentally ill) to do it.



posted on Aug, 9 2013 @ 07:04 PM
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This is a disease, or I guess you could just call it mental illness. I remember watching one of the hoarder shows where the lady had dead rats all over the house in between the trash. It's disgusting. What is sad is that most of them seem like nice people, they obviously can't help themselves. I had some hoarders that lived across the street from us when I was a kid. They were not this bad, you could actually walk through the house, but it was like walking a deer trail through thick forest brush. ~$heopleNation



posted on Aug, 9 2013 @ 07:49 PM
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reply to post by openyourmind1262
 


I am the caretaker of a large apartment complex and deal with this about once every few months. A couple of places I had to wear a hazmat suit in while I cleaned them out so I can understand your frustration/amazed sick reaction to it.

My mom is a hoarder as well, or was until I cleaned her place for her, and now she is doing better


This lady called you because she knew you, and probably you are someone she feels she can trust.
I am sure it wasn't easy for her to do.

Personally, I think it was a call for help in a hopeless situation, kind of keep that in mind while you figure out what to do. Before anyone calls CPS, maybe send an e-mail asking why they would want your services when the home is in such poor conditions as it is? I bet you get a surprising response, as this is someone reaching out for help, in any way they can get it.




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