Is it really Sexual Attraction?

Some people have charisma and some people don't. You don't even have to be physically attractive, though that certainly helps. I had a friend in school who was this short guy with a huge nose and thick glasses. we used to call him "Proboscis." Not only did he take this in good-humored stride, but he would always wind up with the most beautiful women in the world--just striking. I'm not saying "attractive," I'm talking drop-dead gorgeous here. So one day I went up to him and said,

"John, how do you do it?" I think I was whining a bit. He just turned to me and grinned through those thick glasses of his and said,

"Charm."

reply to post by piequal3because14

What no cigarette? Or is that a bit to cliche, seen it in a movie once. Thought only the movie was 2 1/2 hours, the whole phenomena was crammed into a whole minute or so in one scene. But ya, at least on this we seem to be in concordance. I thought about it and I like your answer much better then mine. What this thread is about, starts to make sense now.

With me I think Its looks and eye contact (if I'm interested and I think she is too) and being funny and also communication 50/50. I usually get trusted right away. If their interested then I usually don't have to do too much but be myself. I never had a problem with women (I didn't get married until I was 29) I just had a problem with too many women

I could tell you some stories...

One of my favorite is when I was with some friends at a Club in Lemoore, Calif., A table with 3 really cute women (were just seated) one of my buddies said, "lets go talk to them", I said, "ok.. I get the brunette", anyway me and Pete went over and asked if we could join them, they said, "ok, sure" ..

(long story short) Debra (the brunette ) happened to be the daughter of one of the towns (Hanford) big car dealer ships. Her dad owned it. She was bragging about this and that yak yak yak..I finally after maybe 15 minuets asked her if shed like to take a quick look at my imported car.

She said, sure. we got out to my (red Datsun 1200 sedan) I let her in the passenger seat and I walked around and got in the drivers seat.

I then looked at her in the eyes and smiled. She smiled back. I said. "you know what I really like about this car?", she said, "no...what?"...I reached over and hit the reclining lever...she went ziiiip back! with me right there saying. "I like the reclining bucket seats"...!

She, her eyes were wide, and then she started laughing (me too) and then we made out. And dated.

That's one way to do it.

yeah um no. It is a very physical phenomenon you just dont recognize what it is you are doing is all. The more comfortable you are with who you are and your own self image the more attractive you become. This is why married men frequently experience lots of opportunities to cheat. It isn't that they are married that makes them attractive it is that they don't really care what another woman thinks and are more comfortable talking to them.

Originally posted by liquidsmoke206
You sound like your typical egotistical female that thinks everyone wants her.

Just cuz that dude smiled at you doesn't mean anything get over yourself. You're reading into this way too much. You're probably not that hot and your ideas of spirituality are clearly self-aggrandizing.

Sorry to be so rude, but I've seen it all and you're nothing special.

heh, you would be the first dude making the play for her. boost your own ego by knocking down someone else's and then go for it! seen that one too?

Originally posted by ThreeSistersofLoveandLigh
I have noticed a phenomenon in my life that many (both male and female) attribute to sexual attraction, or at least that is generally the way that it is described to me.

I am not "drop dead gorgeous", I don't have a "phenomenal body" and I don't attempt to draw attention to myself by wearing provocative clothing, with the exception of not being afraid to show a little cleavage when I go out.

I am in a long term committed relationship, so it isn't like I am on "the hunt", so this phenomenon has perplexed me for a long time.

Many of those that know me often describe me as being highly spiritually evolved, and I have been described on more than one occasion as "more Christian than most Christians I know", but it isn't usually my spirituality that attracts these people to me. More often than not, the initial attraction seems to be perceived as a sexual one. This "sexual attraction" isn't limited to sexual orientation, as I have had straight, bisexual and homosexual men and women attracted to me, and sometimes those that are attracted are confused by it, especially the homosexual men, and the straight women. ( I am female ).

I am convinced, and most especially due to certain recent events, that this attraction is not really a sexual one, but a spiritual one and that the "attraction" is misinterpreted as sexual, because many have been taught through various religious upbringing this is what it is.

That being said, I am curious to know if there are others that have experienced this phenomenon.

No, it's not spirituality. What you're feeling is childish reasoning from a primal part of your brain. Basically it's just oxytocin and lust.

reply to post by ThreeSistersofLoveandLigh


no. but i do get some laughs

I don't know if it is the same type of attraction you are talking about. I haven't heard anyone call it sexual especially. But I have struggled with attracting people too much (more than i would like). I have wondered if I "leak" sexual energy subconsciously... or what. In trying to ascertain what it is that causes this problem, and asking for straight feedback, It seems to be the sensitivity I have that is obvious and attracts.

I am a very sensitive person, and yet also very embarrassed of that- I would like to be seen as tougher and less vulnerable. But apparently my face shows all the emotions I feel, and people can see exactly how reactive I am to the most subtle of input.

Apparently, this is very attractive to other people. It is stimulating to realize the impact the can have on me, with very little effort. Whether it's verbal exchange or physical. I can be very emotional in reaction to words, and think nobody sees it- and yet they claim to be struck by the impact they see it have on me!

And honestly, sexually, my biggest problem is having orgasms way quicker than my husband, which I see as a problem, he sees as flattering. (though from past experience, I can confirm it is not just him that is the reason for this).

-But that made me think- that illustrates why people might find their ego drawn to someone highly sensitive; eh?

I have also noticed that it stirs predator-type of behavior too- people will focus on me to attack very easily. Probably because of this perception of vulnerability.

I am also a very spiritual person, but also very physical, sensual. My spirituality is very associated with my body. I like yoga and meditation.... I feel a closeness to nature. This might be sensed by others and stir primal forces in them?

Bluesma


And honestly, sexually, my biggest problem is having orgasms way quicker than my husband, which I see as a problem, he sees as flattering. (though from past experience, I can confirm it is not just him that is the reason for this).

I am not that emotionally sensitive and have this as well. To the degree if my husband just thrusts once the right way he can trigger one. You should be happy, it keeps him feeling secure (it is a crazy man thing). It is just as much physical sensitivity as it emotional. Some women are so emotionally damaged they can't have one at all.

reply to post by KeliOnyx


as a guy with a wonderful wife when that happens i feel ten feet tall.(yeah i know only three and a half feet taller but still) please let your man feel this mighty vanity you bestow upon him. it makes a man feel all warm and toasty and want to make hot chocolate afterwards

reply to post by rockoperawriter


Oh im all about it for his sake. The world is hard enough, so anything I can do to help him walk a little prouder, taller and more defiant is worth it.

reply to post by KeliOnyx


It's nice to finally meet a woman who has the same experience!
I couldn't understand the statement about some women being so emotionally damaged they can't have one at all..... I had to think that over and remember that for some people, saying one is highly emotionally sensitive means they are traumatized people.

I didn't mean that though, just that I read subtilities to a point that many people don't. The Highly Sensitive Person trait applies, and it is sometimes termed Sensory-Processing Sensitivity nowadays, because it corresponds to differences in the nervous system. So it is actually physical!

Emotions being the biological reactions to percieved stimuli (chemical secretions) I consider the physical and emotional to be the same.

But looking at this way it effects my partner, in making him feel big and powerful, if you apply that to non-sexual interactions as well, you can still guess that if a person percieves (even subconsciously) that your pupils, blood vessels, persperation... react strongly to their speech or actions, it makes them feel powerful! They think, "wow, I have big impact! I must be really something!"
-when in fact, anyone and everyone gets such reactions from me, it isn't really them in particular.

But I can see how that could make some people attracted, either for sex...... or a fight!

reply to post by Bluesma


Wasmt exactly what i meant, but I do follow you. No I meant that many women who can't or don't have them mainly because of them and not their partners lack of prowess.