I am writing this thread in an attempt to describe to you my own predicament in an attempt to give you, the reader, insight into this plague of modern
I spent 5 weeks in Paris under section on an acute psychiatric ward through June into July, after running away from Britain and falling promptly on my
ass. I tried to run away from the loneliness, my family, my social situation and my fears about RACISM after the council elections when the extreme
right wing made many gains. My Jewish side were refugees from Germany and I do not know that side of my family because they were killed by Hitler.
The long term reasons as to why I ended up like this are manifold. Here are some of the circumstances that have shaped my life:
Not being brought up by my real mother (my grandmother brought me up, but died in my arms when I was thirteen at aged 54). My earliest memories are of
my mother leaving me when she married my stepfather. This really is the root cause of my emotional troubles.
My stepfather never treated me equally to his son, my younger half brother. He gave him all the help, nurturing and support and just put me down. He
made my brother look bigger by constantly knocking me down when I did try to join that family.
I buried my emotional troubles in drugs of all kinds for many years. That has not helped. Self medicating has its uses for survival, but at a
I have spent most of my adult life being unemployed. Lack of money and increasing isolation have also played their part. During my life we have had
two very severe recessions in Britain and I never was able to quite get on my feet.
Every time I did work I just ended up getting bullied by management and colleagues for being too different. I was not able to fit in because indeed I
was different psychologically.
Lack of a long term mother figure and father figure meant that earlier on I had a crisis of sexuality. I was very confused and during my late teens I
thought I was gay, but I wasn't. I had to try it to find out whether or not I was. That also brought much discrimination before the recent human
rights was applied by the United Nations. Thank goodness at last that gay people do not have to suffer like that any more.
I am half Jewish. The Jewish side of me ended up being strongest. I have no acceptance really with Jews because it is on my real Father's side (who I
only met three times earlier on in my life). They say that it has to be the Mother. Also, being Christian makes it impossible to share in that culture
as it stands.
What a mess! Here I sit having to take prescription drugs to ease the pain. I am a very bright guy, too. What a waste.
I do not understand this society any more. I cannot stand the way the media manipulates everybody. People are just buried in their Ipads. Women have
had their heads messed up so much by media and feminism that most of them seem to have an identity crisis. No companionship possible, but believe me I
I wrote to a Minister to explain to him that most of modern day illness is about nurture not nature. It comes from society and early childhood
experiences. Once the scene is set earlier on later life can be full of anguish and misery.
As I get older I am getting worse. I managed to go to age 30 without a breakdown. I am just coming out of my fourth breakdown and this is the first
time I had to be hospitalized. At least now I am able to accept my illness and I will take medication and develop my awareness of my condition in an
attempt to live with this and cope without having to suffer any further complications.
I never wanted to admit it before you see. It took those 5 weeks in an institution to force upon me the realisation that I do have some rather
Don't you dare feel sorry for me. I hate that and it has no use. Instead look after your children and take on board what I said about how early
childhood can create a whole life of misery if a child is not cared for properly.
Don't worry about me. I am as hard as nails and a real survivor. I still have lots of fun, but I am disabled and cannot function properly in this kind
of hard, cruel, survival of the fittest, dog eat dog world. If you can cope with it good luck, but I tell you these problems are REAL. They have
profound economic as well as social implications.
I have never been aggressive. I would rather die than cause any harm to another living soul, thank GOD. But some people are not like me and when in an
episode of crisis they can lash out as we often see in the news. They may become a terrorist (like many young Muslim men who have been so marginalised
in the west and been encouraged by extremist Clerics). They may rape because of mistreatment by a woman in their lives. There are many ways episodes
can explode into reality.
PLEASE START CARING ABOUT THESE THINGS. One in every ten human beings in western society will at some point have a mental health crisis. It knows no
boundaries of social class, race or gender.
I was in hospital with two other fellow Jews and a guy who could play piano like Chopin. I met a man who could tell the future, too. On the
psychiatric wards there is a mixture of races and classes. I also had some very close Ivory Coast friends in there from Africa. They were lovely.
Among the other patients I got so much support. The nurses were lovely, too. They treated us very very well and the care they gave DID WORK and have
Thanks for reading. Please if you do want to comment keep it humane atleast. That is all I ask.
edit on 30-7-2013 by Revolution9 because: clarification
edit on 30-7-2013 by Revolution9 because:
edit on 30-7-2013 by Revolution9 because: punctuation