"Men On Strike"

reply to post by MystikMushroom


WOW! How did you get that description of homely from me stating that finding a woman that is half naked probably is into money and sex, and probably not monogamy?

BTW a "tease" is if I steal the last cookie before you get to it, and I stick out my tongue and say nah nah nah..

What your referring to is a tactic that can only fool some men. Or those that are concerned with only one thing.

NRE.

No that isn't what she is saying at all. Wow there is a lot of unexpressed hatred for women in this thread.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


Thanks for posting your thoughts much appreciated on a male dominated thread.

Dr. Smith has pointed out that men are just over the whole relationship thing as a whole, things have gotten so out of hand that there is virtually no point to have one, with the opposite sex. And this is even if she can "Rock his world", or if she is hot, or a good women, the short term benefits outweigh the long term ones.

It seems the feminist movement has ruined it for the good women out there, and speaking from my personal perspective most of my upwardly mobile males friends are of the same mindset. Sure we'll take care of our responsibilities, but why introduce a factor such as marriage, when the odds are overwhelmingly against it surviving. And how about the ones that do survive how many are truly happy? Small percentages I would assume.

Here conclusion is that males all ages, but especially the younger single males have opted to better themselves in areas of self-interest, rather than finding a partner and finding common interests because it's less complicated that way.

This is not a blame game from my perspective, only that something is very wrong with the way men and women are interacting, communicating, and treating each other these days.

Would you agree with this statement?

Originally posted by Thorneblood
No that isn't what she is saying at all. Wow there is a lot of unexpressed hatred for women in this thread.

Would you please refrain from comments like this, they bait the thread and are completely off topic.

Why don't you let the original poster actually answer the question, that is common courtesy here on ATS?

Thank you


P.S. Mystic you too be nice now.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver

BTW a "tease" is if I steal the last cookie before you get to it, and I stick out my tongue and say nah nah nah..

FYI: That's the kinda disrespect that should earn a spanking!

For god sakes guys. Don't be so pessimistic about women and please learn to play with them the same way you would want to be played with. A relationship doesn't have to be all arguments, accusations of infidelity and unfounded fears of financial destruction as a consequence of a failed marriage.

It is possible to spend a majority of your time with a woman simple because you care about each other, like the way each other looks naked and generally prefer that to meeting strangers and trying to 'read the future' after a five minute conversation.


*Shrugs*
Alright, i am out of it then.
Forgive me for not jumping on the "Women are at Fault" express and please enjoy rubbing one out tonight.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


I was being quite the sarcastic brat there

But I find that both beta males and beta females seem to be frustrated because they know they would be good mates, but for some reason (usually it's a combo of looks/personality) they are always overlooked. They tell the opposite sex that they need to look deeper into a person to really find the one to, as you put it, "rock their world".

I know, because I used to be one of those guys.

reply to post by Realtruth


I agree with you on all levels, but might I add that women also are not looking for long term relationships as the stigma of divorce, infidelity, child-rearing alone, etc,. also come into play. I have seen many men that are unhappy and stay with their families, but I dont think this is healthy for anyone, especially when children are involved.

By "entertainment" exploiting both sexes, we are left with generations of should have been families, but they dont know how they work, how to stick it out, and how to walk away when its necessary.

Peace, NRE.

Originally posted by NoRegretsEver
reply to post by Realtruth

 

I agree with you on all levels, but might I add that women also are not looking for long term relationships as the stigma of divorce, infidelity, child-rearing alone, etc,. also come into play. I have seen many men that are unhappy and stay with their families, but I dont think this is healthy for anyone, especially when children are involved.

By "entertainment" exploiting both sexes, we are left with generations of should have been families, but they dont know how they work, how to stick it out, and how to walk away when its necessary.

Peace, NRE.

RT get out his checklist. Does math, thinks for moment.

Conclusion:

NRE is the perfect woman sends her an invitation to dinner, because he knows that she is actually a computer bot and most likely doesn't exist.

reply to post by MystikMushroom

I do that too, not out of revenge though, but out of pure habit. I swear, everytime in the kitchen, I get a dirty look, a sigh, then handed something to open lmao.

I am on strike myself now, until I can easily pay for the essentials, dating is simply out of the question. Unless I come across one of those rare ones that would rather bum it up at the free beach, or go hiking etc, than go to some fancy resteraunt or hit up the bar and get tipsy on my money

reply to post by Realtruth


What RT should be concerned with is if NRE accepts said invitation. Dumm dum dummmmmmm

But seriously it is double edged sword, happiness has to be found when your alone, and then when someone comes into your life and you know that your not happy, you can easily walk away.

Peace, NRE

reply to post by TKDRL


"bum it up at the free beach, or go hiking etc, than go to some fancy resteraunt or hit up the bar and get tipsy on my money"

Im down as long as you dont skimp on the cheap "tipsy" choices J.D or nothing

Peace, NRE.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


Maybe in my younger days lol. JD gives me the worst two day hangovers now lol. God I sound so old

reply to post by NoRegretsEver



NRE let me give you an example of a double standard, since I treat my friends equally. Men and women.

A female friend asked me recently to meet her for lunch, so I excepted the invitation, since I hadn't seen her in a while. I asked where she wanted to go and she picked a fairly pricey Italian restaurant.

hmm no prob I thought since we are friends and she'll is cover her half, then why not.

Bill comes at the end of the dinner and she doesn't motion to pay, says nothing, so I speak up and say the bill is $$$, and her answer is "traditionally guys pay the bill"

My response: sure if a man and women are dating, then yes but not friends.

I told her that we are breaking tradition here, since we are only friends, so we can split the bill.

I also asked her did she forget her money or something. No answer.

My last comment was: "Do you treat your female friends this way?" she didn't answer, nor did she offer to pay.

I paid the bill and have not spoken with her since, nor do I intend to.

Male or female, if someone takes advantage of a situation/friendship and has an attitude of self-centeredness, or entitlement, then it is time to cut ties.

Sounds like it was a date and you dropped the ball when you got cheap.

reply to post by Realtruth


Totally agree. You have to know when to cross a bridge... and when to burn it.

I was asked out very recently, here is a bit of the "first date scenario" that he asked and I answered (we havent set a date, this was yesterday)

Him- Where would you like to go?

NRE- Somewhere we have both never been.

Him- Why?

NRE- Because I think all first dates should incorporate something for us both, then we cant be fake towards each other.. you know out of our comfort zone.

Him- Well thats strange but ok.

NRE- BTW and somewhere where it isnt $200 bucks for a meal.

Him- Immediately replied, why you think I dont have the cash?

NRE- Dont care if you do or dont, but first dates especially should be dutch.

(Pause on the phone)

NRE- I know your freaked out but here it is. If we have a second date, then sure you can buy dinner and I can buy the drinks, but on the first date we should do something we never did before, because even if it doesnt work out, we will always remember we did something different together for the first time, and neither of us feels like one owes the other

Peace, NRE.

Originally posted by Thorneblood
Sounds like it was a date and you dropped the ball when you got cheap.

Thank you for re-enforcing the topic of this thread and pointing out exactly what Dr.Smith is talking about.

She is engaged to be married, so it was most definitely not a date FYI.

Originally posted by darkbake
reply to post by darkbake

 

So what did I do instead?

I started a band with a gay man, who later got married to another man, let's see... we formed our own company. I started another science company with another man. I moved in with 2 guys whom I plan on hopefully living with for 5-20 more years,

I made some awesome girls as friends who are completely in the friend-zone indefinitely, until they earn their way out...

edit on 30-7-2013 by darkbake because: (no reason given)

So you turned gay? Or are you a woman? Or you just want to associate with men only for the most part?

Not judging either way it was just a bit confusing with the way some sentences were phrased.

Anyway,

I can see where the writer mentioned in the OP is coming from. I'm a man, so obviously I'm going to be a bit biased, but to me the double standards and pitfalls that effect men are pretty obvious and don't need to be rehashed.

But just like silly feminazis that get so worked up they start hating men, it's just as stupid to get a negative attitude of women as a whole because of the bad ones you've encountered.

I'm not gay, but I honestly prefer to the company of other men over most women. I have many close female friends, and (not surprisingly) they all are the type of women that can't stand female friends and have mostly male friends.

I'm all for a woman's freedom and independence, but it seems many women have forgot the concept of being a good partner. Many are concerned with trying to either assert dominance in the relationship, or figure out a way to profit financially from the relationship. Or, like someone else mentioned, they are only interested in flings not relationships, but still get pissy about you seeing other women.

Not to say that men don't have any general negative qualities, but men's drives are few and simple. Either a man wants to simply have sex with a woman, he wants a trophy wife, or he wants a real partner. It's pretty easy to figure out which one he's after too.

I'm sure most women know whether they'd consider themselves trophy wives, I'm sure most women can easily figure out when a guy just wants to get into their pants, so if it's not those two things it's likely the guy just really wants to be with you.

With women there seems to be an infinite number of devious motivations behind getting into relationships with men. Some are easy to spot and avoid, others not so much. And sometimes these devious motivations can span years, women are evidently long term thinkers.

I think women also have more power in the dating market. Men are usually the ones putting in the job applications, so to speak, for the relationship. Women can sit back and browse through stack of resumes, so they SHOULD have a better track record at picking partners. It doesn't seem that way though.

I think these factors add up to show that it's more perilous for men right now to enter into relationships than women. Which would explain why many men are just dropping out of the market all together.

I don't think these issues are new. I think these are old issues only coming to light right now because women are no longer dependent on men. When a woman was basically forced to get married, and stay married, in order to survive in society and raise children, they didn't have the opportunity to be as devious as they are now. The man had much more power in the relationship, and this tempered the negative aspects of women's behavior that we are seeing now.

Not at all am I saying that was a GOOD thing, simply saying that's why these problems are more apparent today than in the past. When men had more power in relationships they abused that power and did devious things as well. I think we need a middle point where both men and women not only share "power" in the relationship, but also share RESPONSIBILITY for making the other person happy and supporting them.

A man shouldn't work a job to support a woman. A man should work a job to support the family (whether it's just the two of you, or 4 kids) A woman shouldn't cook dinner and wash dishes to make her husband happy, she should do it because she is doing it for the family. However you want to divide the labor in the relationship is a personal choice that needs to be made and agreed upon by both parties in the relationship, I was just using the job and dishes as an example.

So a happily engaged woman just asked you to take her to a pricey italian restaurant then when it comes time to pay the bill gives you one of the most cliche date phrases ever and you think that she wasn't sending you a signal?

Did she say why she wanted to go to lunch with you alone in the first place?
Do you regularly take women to nice restaurants when their husband/boyfriend are not around?

Maybe i am the only one who sees this and thinks it sounds a lot like a scene from a romantic comedy.
(Or a letter to penthouse.)

Originally posted by NoRegretsEver

NRE- I know your freaked out but here it is. If we have a second date, then sure you can buy dinner and I can buy the drinks, but on the first date we should do something we never did before, because even if it doesnt work out, we will always remember we did something different together for the first time, and neither of us feels like one owes the other

Peace, NRE.

Sounds fair to me. I don't see this as feminist at all, but the ability of two people respecting each others positions.

I think it's good for people male, or female to treat each other with respect. And not having either party blindside the other, because when this happens then what is the point of the relationship.

Again you are re-enforcing the entire topic of this thread and Dr. Smith's position. Thank you for giving us what I would consider classic paradigms for this thread.

Now I will answer your questions.

Originally posted by Thorneblood
So a happily engaged woman just asked you to take her to a pricey italian restaurant then when it comes time to pay the bill gives you one of the most cliche date phrases ever and you think that she wasn't sending you a signal?

Friends can't ask friends out if they are engaged? Sounds like another double standard here.

Did she say why she wanted to go to lunch with you alone in the first place?

Um we were not alone, but in a public place. Your question makes no sense.

Do you regularly take women to nice restaurants when their husband/boyfriend are not around?

Again she asked to go to lunch, so I don't see it as taking her, but meeting her for lunch. Huge difference.

Maybe i am the only one who sees this and thinks it sounds a lot like a scene from a romantic comedy.
(Or a letter to penthouse.)

No you're the only one trying to spin drama where there is none.


And again with your comments you are only re-enforcing why men are not choosing relationship with women.

I hope you see the irony in your comments.