posted on Jul, 28 2013 @ 10:16 AM
reply to post by SloAnPainful
You've gotten great advice. I would add two things. One, when she goes away to visit family, etc., perhaps work on something special for her when she
returns -- such as fix up a room that she's wanted updated (paint, wallpaper, flooring - whatever), clean out closets or such, make/build something
for her, write her poems or songs, whatever - that way you are busy and still feeling close to her and showing your love (vs. neediness).
Second, this is a clear wake-up call for you that you will need to build some friendships as an individual and as a couple, and some type of
passionate interest in something that you love and enjoy, outside of your relationship with your wife. Something that occupies your mind and body,
keeps you busy, but that you really love doing.
The stress of a new job and this stressor with her gone can make your mind race with anxiety. Deep breathing during the day, walking, exercise, ride a
bike--all can help. To help you sleep alone (the toughest part of it all), try sleeping on the couch with the TV on, or put on a fan for white noise,
hug a pillow, bring the pet in the room with you if you have one, take a warm bath and get nice and cozy.
Ignore anyone who says "man up."
And be sure to work on making yourself whole. There is a difference between being interdependent and being codependent.
Hang in there.