posted on Jul, 26 2013 @ 10:03 PM
I'm a mother of one (she'll be six on August 13th!
) and I was born with a congenital heart defect, a very large heart murmur, and almost no immune
system so I grew up catching every little bug that crossed my path and being sick all the time...here in the South, I'm referred to as "delicate",
LOL. I developed tachycardia (heart beating too fast) and an arrhythmia (heart beating unevenly) in my teen years, both of which put me at risk for
pulmonary edema (fluid building up in the lungs), cardiac arrest, and cardiomyopathy (viral and bacterial infections of the heart, which I was already
at risk for). Compound all that with the fact that I've been getting pneumonia once or twice every year since I was sixteen... so that's almost nine
years of pneumonia scarring my lungs. My heart is slowly destroying itself and doctors have given me an average of ten years with this heart, up to
fifteen if I'm lucky and five if things get really bad...not factoring in that my lungs are being destroyed as well.
I'm turning 25 in December. My daughter is only (almost) 6. I want more time for myself but moreover, I definitely want more time with her but its not
just time I want, it's also quality of time...I don't want to be sick for my entire life, no matter how long or short it may be. Therefore, I would
pick how I would die since it's pretty much assured that it'll be my heart that kills me in a certain timeframe. If I could choose for that to not be
a factor and to die some other way, I'd choose to die of old age...not only would it change how I die, but when I die as well.
7/26/2013 by jcutler12888 because: (no reason given)