Charge A Car Battery With A Chainsaw
So, you’re out in the woods getting a load of wood, 17 miles from nowhere, 23 miles from anywhere and 29 miles from the nearest store.
Today, you let your 12 year old boy drive the back road from where you exited the freeway.
It is a nice warm sunny day and you squint against the encroaching sunlight as your heart races in total fear while your son navigates the truck a bit
on the unconventional side.
When you arrive at the wood cutting site, you are so busy high-fiving your son for the great job he did driving, as you ready yourself, gasping with
relief, to exit the truck and unload your saw and needful things, that you did not notice your memory, which had already escaped you about the
headlights being on, was gone, and you forgot.
Soon, both you and your son get to business.
Your son, cutting and splitting.
You, a phone call you cannot not answer.
After cutting and splitting a bounty of wood, you must ready the truck for loading, but unfortunately, since the headlights were left on, your worst
fears are now realized.
YOUR BATTERY IS D-E-A-D, DEAD!!
In your mind, you realize that when you discretely turned the lights on as you pulled over to switch drivers, (for more safety…17 miles from
nowhere….(face palm…) , you didn’t let your son see you because that, to hom, would seem like you were worried about his ability, taking wind
out of his sail of pleasure; getting to navigate the truck through the unpaved mountain road, unrestricted; You, leaving behind an odor your son says
mimics that old people medicine smell, that will linger on for eternity.
Now, you got some ‘splainin’ to do.
To your wife, to the extraction team dispatched to find your missing sorry ass, to your son for the great disturbing memory he will be left with after
you fail again in catching any fish to eat while awaiting rescue, for the fire you can’t start because you don’t know how without your disposable
lighter - which also died, as you lit a smoke with it’s last breath of flame back in town, while pumping gas.
Digesting this, you now realize you are lucky to be alive, if you can call your wandering upon this earth “life”.
Normally, it could take until well after dark before anyone might worry. Longer, whilst worry, the turtle of the turtle-hare race, builds up enough
steam to warrant a search and rescue team dispatched to find you, sorry-ass and as described below, the most stupid father that ever lived, and your
son, to bring you both in.
This senario’s ending, by most estimations, is about as lame as could ever be imagined and your son will most likely now know for a fact that you
are the most stupid father that ever lived.
Or worse, your son might believe it was his fault not noticing the lights were left on, causing permanent emotional damage to his psyche through dead
There are few options at this point since you also drained the battery on your cell phone talking to the wife, who decides that now, while you are out
fetching wood, is the best time to question your love and devotion to her. Finally, the call ends as your battery expires.
(I guess we know who cut and split all that wood now as well, don’t we?)
At a time like this, there are three quotes to remember.
1) “It isn’t over ‘till the fat lady sings’”
2) “It’s never over ‘till it’s over.”
3) “Remember (insert your name here), you can always go back to a bobber and a worm!”
Now, normally, the entire trip is by now a nightmare that you will never live down,
but not today!
Today, you are prepared for such an unwelcome reality.
You brought the most Important tools you can bring to the woods.
a) 2 cycle gas/oil mix
c) Serpentine or “V”-belt removal tool(s)
d) Chainsaw tools
e) An old “V”-Belt you had lying around since the 80’s.
Now, take your tools and perform the following:
Remove the side cover of your chainsaw
Remove chain bar and chain.
Remove the E-clip, Keeper and drive sprocket.
After removing sprocket, replace keeper, then E-clip.
Remove your truck’s serpentine or “V”-Belt.
Take your stowed “V”-Belt and insert it on the chainsaw drive and to your trucks’ alternator.
While keeping the “V”-Belt snug and with pressure to the inside lip of alternator pulley, Start your chainsaw drive, and charge your dead battery
in no time.
(Ensure proper rotation of alternator to charge battery.)
Instead, your son sees you as a superhero and all is well.
Charge A Car Battery With A Chainsaw