A question for the women of ATS.

reply to post by AshleyD


My husband and your husband must be cut from the same cloth. We're some lucky girls.

So yeah OP, I agree with Ash. I would only add that I've always been attracted to problem-solvers who take initiative and aren't afraid to get their hands dirty. Because, really, doesn't every maiden want a fellow who is willing to slay a dragon or two? Mind you, not that we *need* them to, just that they can and are willing.

One who works

There has been a few definites for me...never any sissies, pretty boys, or yuppies and for some reason always and only brunettes and always younger than me and must have a sense of humor.

My late teens and early twenties was a fun guy always ready to be on the go but never wanted to have a job, listened to same music, watched same movies had the same friends, very funny, average smarts. Short like 5'5, blue eyes. Leo like me

My husband now... Calculative, manly, hardworker, very smart like mensa smart. Huge taste in music and movies has rubbed off on me. Tall, brown hair, brown eyes. Good sense of humor too. Drives me batty sometimes because he must think long and hard about any and every decision and im a do it now type. He's a taurus.

Seriously women are all different, and we change over time. Who I dated in my teens and twenties is not the same type of guy I married, even so far as looks go it varies as i'm sure you'll find out with the answers you get.

Originally posted by dave_welch
Exactly what kind of man are you attracted to? Be completely honest, don't say what you think will make you look good, okay? I'm just curious, because I've gotten a lot of different opinions on the subject.

Yeah! Good question! An intellectual, sophisticated, mature, rational guy attracts me more than the others.

OP I have been single and not looking for so long I don't even know what I want in a man anymore. LOL

Seriously though, I would have to say he would definitely have to NOT BE a "know it all" and He would have to know how to listen to more than just his own conversation. A sense of humor is must and as another poster said havig a job is a given. Also, he would have to love flat-water kayaking.

So in short it would have to be a man who doesn't think the world revolves around him only and that can be very hard to find. I'm not men bashing, I love you guys, but some just think it's all about them and them only.

Intelligence comes first then a sense of humor. A person who makes me feel comfortable and yet challenges me is someone I'd like to see again. Turnoffs are territorialism, possessiveness and substance abuse,

What a woman sees in a man is not always what is "in" the man. Women sometimes see the potential that is there, or the potential that is a figment of her imagination.

What a woman wants may be different than what is good in the long run, or what she wants in the long run.

There's physical chemistry based on sheer looks, or physical chemistry combined with "something extra" that makes someone who isn't necessarily cute or handsome or fit somehow become unforgettable and attractive (and no, I don't mean money).

And there's the attraction to someone unattainable, married, noncommittal. Either as a conscious or unconscious need for a "challenge" - or need to really not get close to someone after all.

For me, I think that quiet confidence is nice, overt confidence comes across a bit arrogant or unnerving. Someone who treats animals well, is kind to the waiter/waitress, can get on the floor and giggle with kids, and likes to cuddle and act goofy sometimes is attractive to me.

I also have a thing for voices. Some voices seem so attractive. Others don't. Not that there's a particular type that I could describe - it's almost like a chemistry thing. Sort of a tad bit raspy, maybe a great Irish or Scottish accent, maybe just a warm, resounding voice.

Although I am college educated, white collar, doing well career wise I suppose, I have always preferred "non suits" -- or entrepreneurs, blue collar, etc. I secretly like a man who can actually fix something if it breaks. A man who can change diapers, cook dinner, ride a Harley, dance a slow dance, sit on the porch and drink a foo-foo drink one night, an ice tea another, and a cold one on the next night.

Most of all, most of us want to be loved no matter what -- make-up on, make-up off, blowing our noses, looking like a princess, snoring or looking all cute in your old shirt. Loved, not just desired physically. Loved, not possessed. Loved, respected, liked.

It sounds hokey, but if I'm lucky enough to meet a good man one more time in my life, I hope he's my closest, dearest friend too. And he's got to make me laugh. Having money is nice. Having none sucks. Having a sense of humor is priceless.

reply to post by dave_welch


Dave, Dave, Dave.....

As a rule you should never ask advice from women on how to get women. Which is essentially what you're doing.

Women like words. It boils down to that. If you're good with words, whether it's through humor, smooth talking, knowledge, or depth, whatever.....if you can keep the convo flowing, she will be into you. And I mean really keep it engaging, not "well I thought I sounded very interesting". She didn't. If you want to avoid the trap of becoming the friend guy you're gonna have to man up and try and get her to think or talk about something sexual from pretty much the start. If there's any chemistry this should be pretty easy to do, a couple glasses of wine definitely don't hurt though...

I see you keep making these threads about how you basically are frustrated with and don't understand women. This isn't rocket surgery bro.....

Originally posted by piequal3because14
reply to post by dave_welch

 

$,€,£ .

This coming from the woman who writes poetry that can make grown men cry. Or so she hopes.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. A woman who is in love with money. Literally. The man is only the vessel who carries it, yet, she claims to know love like no other. Literally.

In America we have a name for women like that. You can "innocent" it up all you want, it's all the same.

I still love you Pi, you know that. Maybe a few more incarnations will get up to the level I'm at.

Originally posted by liquidsmoke206
Women like words. It boils down to that. If you're good with words, whether it's through humor, smooth talking, knowledge, or depth, whatever.....if you can keep the convo flowing, she will be into you. And I mean really keep it engaging, not "well I thought I sounded very interesting". She didn't. If you want to avoid the trap of becoming the friend guy you're gonna have to man up and try and get her to think or talk about something sexual from pretty much the start.

Do tell.......Seattle.
Every single woman I've ever known likes one thing above all other: A man who can close the deal.
Every single woman............except one.


BTW.........Congratulations to Miss Turner.........or should I say Mrs. Bach. 73 years old and finally tying the knot.

reply to post by Taupin Desciple


little sauced tonight?

I don't think you know what you're talking about, maybe try and focus a little.

reply to post by dave_welch


I am a fella but I have a question for you OP.

Isnt the question just a little redundant? First of all, you are who you are. You start trying to re-shape yourself based on a small section of the female populations advice and preferences, then you will end up with a 2 dimensional personality on the outside, and still be in turmoil and confusion within.

Second of all, you should be asking yourself not what kind of guy is interesting to random females, many of whom you have never met, but ask yourself instead what kind of guy you are, or want to be. Its like the Oracle says in the matrix. Know thyself. In my expirience the first step to being able to attract, and function a relationship, any relationship, is being confident in your own skin.

You dont need a survey for that. You just need to be happy with who you are, and show that in your dealings with others. If you dont have that, then all you are going to do is have shakey, weird, not necessarily healthy connections with people, some of whom you shouldnt be within twenty feet of for the good of your mental health!

Originally posted by Samuelis

Originally posted by ObservingYou
I agree with RA.

For example - last year I was dating the 'Iron Stallion' - a beautiful British Soldier, his body was perfection and he is a 'nice' bloke.

However, there were no 'sparks' between us - and I'm now, currently, sort of 'in love' with an older, 'not so stunning' guy, who isn't really as 'nice' as other guys - but hey - we have some sort of chemistry goin on

I hope Mr not so stunning doesn't ever read your ATS posts, or you'll be back to Mr Right Hand me thinks.

How did you guess which hand?!

Originally posted by dave_welch
Exactly what kind of man are you attracted to? Be completely honest, don't say what you think will make you look good, okay? I'm just curious, because I've gotten a lot of different opinions on the subject.

For me personally, someone that takes care of themselves. (nothing is worse then someone that stinks of body odor, and doesn't brush their teeth... ew). They have to have a sense of humour, and be able to keep a conversation going. I'm huge on talking about this and that, mostly everything. . Someone that doesn't constantly need to be "looked after", I don't mind taking care of my partner but I'm the partner not their mother.Then obviously personal attraction plays a important role, but that varies from person to person. I can't stand dating someone younger then me. Odd.

Make me laugh and you have foot in the door! I swear, I didn't realize it until recently, but every single guy that caught and kept my interest made me laugh, a lot. Looks have never been the biggest deal for me, because I never bothered to allow interest to peek until I knew them some, and they made me laugh!

I'm going to be honest and I've been made fun of this before but I can almost always find something physically and or mentally attractive about someone. I know that is not the norm for most have a "type". If I were to pick a certain look I would say mountain man lol. Someone who looks like they could take care of me and not be worried about their hair or what shirt they're wearing. Scruffy.

reply to post by dave_welch


Skinny, nerdy glasses, shy. I love shy men. Cannot stand hairy backs nor bald men. Hair on the chest is good, but the back, NO. Baldness is something I cannot get over unless it's an intentional bald such as a shaved head. That half head of hair stuff is annoying and ugly, just shave it.

Men that pay too much attention to their appearance is a total turn off. Slap on a shirt, jeans, and a pair of shoes and you are good by me. Slicking the hair with gel and all that jazz is criminal. Taking care of your beard, mustache, and thigh ticklers are a MUST. No unkempt facial hair. Unless it is a short scruff.

Cologne. Nasty to me. Armpit stuff is okay, but cologne just turns me off. Also, a sweaty man with body odor can smell absolutely delicious. But there have been sweaty men that made me ill. I think that is the key to sex appeal, the pheromones or something. Just depends on the body odor. If it is a stagnant not taking a shower stinky bum odor, I don't think any woman would see it as attractive. Get a man out there working his body and sweating, it can certainly drive women insane.

On a date. LOVE men that have wits. A comeback is always nice. Hate sarcasti-dicks or super masculine/protective/jealous types. Men like that are easily identified and they think it's a cool way to attract a girl. It's not, unless you are one of them Jersey Shore housewife types.

Mamma/Poppa boys SUCK period. It's okay to love your mom and dad, but if you visit them and call them everyday, then NO. Clingy men are horrible too. So are openly affectionate men. Men that are push overs are a turn off as well. Shy is Okay, being pushed over, NO.

Penis. It does matter. These women can say whatever they want, no woman wants a penis that does not fit her body. If she is a tiny girl, she "might" be okay with tiny one. I personally would not ever have it that way. EVER. Sex is important and if it is just gonna be floating around in there, then NO.

Job and financial security for me isn't so much of an issue, but a man that is experienced with sustainability is VERY important. Men that do NOT want to butcher a chicken or fish are fine. Men that do not know how or are too grossed out to learn? NO. And if you do not know how to tie or bait a hook? OH HELL NO.

You asked for honesty. That's a little bit of what I like in men. But it's all a case by case basis according to the woman's personality. The profile I mentioned is the type of men I have dated all my life and am attracted to. You know nothing about me, so I don't know if this even helps you or not. Anyway, good luck!!!

Cool. Looks like this is an old thread. Word.

i seem to have a "type". a great sense of humor is required, pretty much every man i've dated had dark hair and i'm kinda partial to beards. smart, non judgmental, artistic. i've never dated anyone who was into sports. i seem to have a thing for musicians and graphic designers. not sure if that's what you were getting at.

reply to post by pasiphae

a great sense of humor is required

I'm your man!! Now what??

I have been married for almost 24 years. I met him when we were both 17. He is caring great with kids and animals and treats his mother well. I think the way he treated his mother is what really hooked me.