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Daring to be Different in the Black Community

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posted on Jul, 15 2013 @ 04:32 PM
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reply to post by sulaw
 


Thanks!!!


My daughter has a heart of gold!!!

I was born and raised in Tennessee. We were raised with the "N" word but were also raised with "colored folk" too. We had no clue it was a word not to be used in school until my cousin got write offs. THEN we learned what the word really meant.

It does seem the younger generations do not take things so seriously and explore each others cultures as a good thing.

I believe there is HOPE and HOPEFULLY they will not be brain washed by the tv in the future.





posted on Jul, 15 2013 @ 04:34 PM
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reply to post by OneManArmy
 


Is it like... Having corned beef and cabbage on Easter???
= Culture



posted on Jul, 15 2013 @ 04:34 PM
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Got to agree that this is a great post and has got some great replies.

While I think the Op has been genuine in her views, there is always the trap of generalising. I do have a lot of sympathy here though, the words that have the deepest impact are the parents so her fathers views would hurt anyone in those circumstances (I was 12 when i realised that my father was not God, all thinking and all just - what a disappointing. And angry day that was).

Also (and i know i am generalising myself), older generations are brought up with different values and so they will have a mindset from maybe 30 or 40 years ago.



posted on Jul, 15 2013 @ 04:34 PM
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Butter Cookie, you have experienced the crab in the barrel mentality. Some people do not like to see other's succeed but would rather pull the down into the dumps with them because after all misery loves company.

I too have been called a nerd, sell out, acting White, too good, and a host of other things for actually wanting to do something with my life instead of stay in my hometown and do nothing. It used to bother me, but now I have become very apathetic to the aforementioned attitude and just focus on my goals.

Too many times I have tried to help out those closest to me, but one can lead a horse to water, but surely cannot make it drink. The issues within the AA community are deeply entrenched, and I'm not sure what the solution is and have given up racking my brain trying.

I can empathize with your feelings in the Community, and let you know that you're not all that different. There is a bunch of people that I know that do not subscribe to the stereotypical member of the Community as a whole. I suggest finding and embracing those people in and out of your community and moving along with your life.

Don't let those crabs bring you down!



posted on Jul, 15 2013 @ 04:35 PM
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reply to post by NavyDoc
 




If striving for an education is "abandoning black culture" then are you not suggesting that lack of education is part of black culture?


No is not, but why did OP connect those two together and we have people praising that.

OP pretty much said education is not black people culture, and she is getting padded on the head by ATS majority.

Im not sure people praising her is actually admitting black people are inferior thus OP is now a better person or they are very gullible.



posted on Jul, 15 2013 @ 04:35 PM
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reply to post by sulaw
 



edit on 15-7-2013 by kimish because: off topic



posted on Jul, 15 2013 @ 04:35 PM
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reply to post by ButterCookie
 


I would say that anyone who thinks about things a little more than the average person does has a tough time of it... adding racial and societal differences just compounds that alienation.

Having some experience with people who come close to some "average," I would also say, "revel in your alienation."

Not-so-bright folks come in all creeds and colors.



posted on Jul, 15 2013 @ 04:37 PM
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reply to post by majesticgent
 




you have experienced the crab in the barrel mentality.


If thats the case everyone should be happy for her. but she didn't stop there... she got out of the barrel then pushed the barrel down with all the other crabs in lava, then join another set of crabs in a barrel.



posted on Jul, 15 2013 @ 04:40 PM
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reply to post by majesticgent
 


I think you are exaclty spot on!!


We have small towns here in Tennessee ( I know, I know... who would have thunk it lol) and there are many that do not further their education because they are fine with hanging out in the small town making a mediocre living. It's like a sell out if you leave but if you don't leave you will be in the same place all your life.

No matter what race you are... there is a similarity to this mind set.



posted on Jul, 15 2013 @ 04:41 PM
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Originally posted by sulaw
reply to post by OneManArmy
 


Is it like... Having corned beef and cabbage on Easter???
= Culture

lol, so i think my culture is tea and crumpets. oh hang on, i dont like tea nor crumpets?
have i sold out my culture?



posted on Jul, 15 2013 @ 04:42 PM
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reply to post by luciddream
 


Whatchu talkin bout Willis?

I do not understand your pov, so if you don't mind try to help a girl out because your words do not reflect the OP.



posted on Jul, 15 2013 @ 04:43 PM
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reply to post by coolbrz731
 





Many people heard what was going on and rallied around me.


And I believe that there is more good in people than bad and if the roles were reversed you would do the same thing, when we take into consideration the number of people in this country the good outweighs the bad.



posted on Jul, 15 2013 @ 04:43 PM
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reply to post by ButterCookie
 


Butter,

I too can relate as a white man growing up in an interracial family (mom is white and dad is black). The black side of the family has never accepted the white side for reasons known only to them. It was very difficult growing up as they did not respect us in any way and were down right mean. It eventually caused my parents to divorce after 17 years.

The only advice I can offer you is to be who you are and not what others think you should be. Life is way to short to be unhappy.

For your father to call you an "Uncle Tom" is horrible and I hope you tell him so. You are his daughter and love is supposed to be unconditional, if he wont change, then I suggest you eliminate your self from the equation by moving on.

I wish you the best of luck and hope you are happy.

Good luck,
Iron...



posted on Jul, 15 2013 @ 04:44 PM
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Wow, just spent a good amount of time reading this entire thread. Super entertaining...

But honestly, not as productive as it could be in addressing the social issues outlined in the OP. Too much squabble and personal jabs. But hey, that's part of what makes it a fun conversation.

I think the OP plays to the leanings of a certain very active segment of the membership on ATS, namely the Republican anti-handout personal responsibility type of thinking that often is accompanied by a bit of racism in our society. Don't take this comment as a personal attack anyone, please, it's just a general social observation. And the OP was very clever in attracting attention from this group and creating some controversy... almost too clever and here's why some are questioning the authenticity. You had to know this was going to blow up when it was posted, and it almost seemed like a smart move for flags instead of a soul-bearing personal essay.

I don't have an opinion either way, we all know a lot of people on forums are fake. But a person like the one the OP describes herself as surely exists in America so let's treat it honestly.

With that said, pursuing education and a professional career is noble. Trying to grow beyond a circumstance is great. But there are some things that put me off.

One thing, before getting into the meat of it, is the subtle jab at religion. A lot of people are religious and it bothers me when anyone paints them all as somehow inferior in mentality. Now,

I think there is legitimate cause for the Black American population to be hesitant to embrace the US. We're only a generation removed from real, overt oppression. The effects linger- poor neighborhoods with bad schools that grew out of segregation and an exclusive real estate market. Blacks aren't poorer in the US today because of a work ethic problem or stupidity. It is predominantly because they were forcibly held down until recently. If your parents were children during a very racist time, that attitude and impression is going to rub off. A lot of young black people feel slighted and it is not unreasonable. We shouldn't see them as any less intelligent because there is a unique culture that outwardly rebels against proper English grammar and tucked in collar shirts.

A lot of these black kids talking slang in the city can run intellectual circles around white suburban kids who speak "properly."

So my first point is that the problem is still there, it hasn't been solved. We're not an equal society with no historical crimes to answer for.

I'd love for black people (all people) to embrace their situation in America and work hard to be productive. A lot do. This doesn't necessarily mean adopting common white culture.

I'd also love for white people to take on the challenge of empathizing with oppressed populations around the world. Not just black Americans. How about Africans, Muslims, Asians, Jews... everyone really, right?

And of course it's not just white people who need to take their ethic to the next level so that we can overcome the historical tensions that deal with. But, the notion that it was Europeans that colonized and oppressed is not going away so these descendants should take the high ground and say, "ok, I understand where you're all coming from. Your people did get oppressed and now you struggle as a result. I'll do anything I can to help"

That's better than saying, "I wasn't born then, I didn't enslave anyone, so climb yourself out of that hole. My hands are full."

I sort of hope at some point it will be, wow that history is messed up. But now look at us, this is why we're a great country. We have peoples from all over the world living and working and befriending one another in a great society more diverse than any, ever.

This is touchy, touchy stuff. Has to be addressed. Kudos to the OP for bringing a conversation to the table.
edit on 7/15/2013 by PatrickGarrow17 because: nobody's perfect



posted on Jul, 15 2013 @ 04:46 PM
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reply to post by OneManArmy
 


I think I'm gonna Dare to be Different... Next Easter I'm not eating Corned beef and Cabbage... I'll eat BBQ Chicken... Call me crazy~ but I don't think I'll have the cultural gavil of disaproval will drop on me for this one....

@Kimish~
So you do the same on New Year's too huh



edit on 15-7-2013 by sulaw because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 15 2013 @ 04:49 PM
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Originally posted by luciddream
reply to post by majesticgent
 




you have experienced the crab in the barrel mentality.


If thats the case everyone should be happy for her. but she didn't stop there... she got out of the barrel then pushed the barrel down with all the other crabs in lava, then join another set of crabs in a barrel.


YES! That's all I set out to express. It's not about her "trying to be white/selling out" by overcoming obstacles and getting higher education, but rather the attitude she now displays towards the lowly crabs, now that she feels she has hoisted herself up and out. Rather than realize her position to help and mentor the misguided and trapped, she'd rather roll the barrel down the hill to the applause and cheers of others who have never had to experience being in that barrel. Someone built that barrel and somebody threw them in there. Higher education is good but does not have to come at the expense of sense and compassion.



posted on Jul, 15 2013 @ 04:53 PM
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Originally posted by luciddream
reply to post by NavyDoc
 




If striving for an education is "abandoning black culture" then are you not suggesting that lack of education is part of black culture?


No is not, but why did OP connect those two together and we have people praising that.

OP pretty much said education is not black people culture, and she is getting padded on the head by ATS majority.

Im not sure people praising her is actually admitting black people are inferior thus OP is now a better person or they are very gullible.


im getting this same feeling... and ive been trying not to but it seem like this is exactly whats going without many noticing.



posted on Jul, 15 2013 @ 04:55 PM
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Originally posted by Benevolent Heretic
The OP doesn't realize that by taking the position she's taking, and saying the stuff she's saying, she's gaining the praise of a bunch of white people who think she's "one of the good black people"... It's really sad and kind of sickening to me.


Then get your head out of the black and white box and realize that some of us don't care about that. She's a good person because she wants to be educated and elevate her own personal status. If that's sickening to you, sorry. If that's your stance then you're no better than one's she's elevating herself above, because like them, you're sticking to the color labels that keep you from understanding what's really going on here.

I don't care what color she is just like I don't care what color anyone is who wants to get ahead. Everyone needs a fair shake, and they're not getting it because of the way the system is set up. And no, the system isn't color coordinated. It doesn't care what you are as much as I don't. The system isn't prejudiced. It hates all poor people equally. I'm not prejudiced. I hate all people who think an education for sake of it is a waste of time........equally.

There is no racial divide in this country that spans wider than the financial divide, because the latter of the two is what keeps the former growing. If you can't see that BH, I'm sorry., but you really need to open your eyes.




posted on Jul, 15 2013 @ 04:59 PM
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Originally posted by Baddguy

Originally posted by luciddream
reply to post by NavyDoc
 




If striving for an education is "abandoning black culture" then are you not suggesting that lack of education is part of black culture?


No is not, but why did OP connect those two together and we have people praising that.

OP pretty much said education is not black people culture, and she is getting padded on the head by ATS majority.

Im not sure people praising her is actually admitting black people are inferior thus OP is now a better person or they are very gullible.


im getting this same feeling... and ive been trying not to but it seem like this is exactly whats going without many noticing.



We noticed...

We just think the "She isn't black enough" argument is poppycock.



posted on Jul, 15 2013 @ 05:02 PM
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Originally posted by whyamIhere

Originally posted by Baddguy

Originally posted by luciddream
reply to post by NavyDoc
 




If striving for an education is "abandoning black culture" then are you not suggesting that lack of education is part of black culture?


No is not, but why did OP connect those two together and we have people praising that.

OP pretty much said education is not black people culture, and she is getting padded on the head by ATS majority.

Im not sure people praising her is actually admitting black people are inferior thus OP is now a better person or they are very gullible.


im getting this same feeling... and ive been trying not to but it seem like this is exactly whats going without many noticing.



We noticed...

We just think the "She isn't black enough" argument is poppycock.


explain...



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