Does everyone have to go through this phase?...

I'm at that annoying phase of my relationship where I miss my guy even if I just saw him a few hours before and wish to be with him again. It's just annoying to me that here I am, a grown woman carrying on like a heart broken fourteen year old girl. I'm a bit disgusted with myself really but I can't control how I feel.

I'm just wondering if everyone goes through this at one point or another in a relationship. I personally don't know why I miss him so badly when I just saw him and had a fabulous time. He also calls me most days that I don't see him in person. He's in summer classes and so is busy and I understand this but can't wait until we have more one on one time to be honest.

But yeah, we dated for about a month before making it official that we were a couple and it's been about two weeks of that now that we've been in a legit relationship. So yeah... How many others of you have gone through the lovesick 14 year old feeling phase?

reply to post by Myomistress


I consulted with my wife, and we both agree: Yes, everybody has to go through this stage.

Yeah, I have been through that phase....I have also been through the wife leaving you for no reason whatsoever, other than she felt like she was too young to be married, so she decided to tear our family apart phase. Ah, the circle of life

Haha, what a sweet question!

A lot of folks on ATS assume I'm a guy because of my avatar, but no, I'm a girl.

I remember that time when I could hardly bear not to be in his presence, but after 6 years, I rarely miss my guy to that extent. In fact, a few hours a day is more than enough time together most of the time.

My advice - enjoy every minute of it. That high, happy, in-love feeling is so wonderful, just indulge yourself.

And yes, it is a phase, and it will surely pass - all the more reason to enjoy it while it lasts!

Originally posted by thesmokingman
Yeah, I have been through that phase....I have also been through the wife leaving you for no reason whatsoever, other than she felt like she was too young to be married, so she decided to tear our family apart phase. Ah, the circle of life

edit on 8-7-2013 by thesmokingman because: (no reason given)

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. That's just tragic. You've added an interesting turn though that I know I'll probably have to face one day (sooner than I might want to) . The hard to keep it together time where the thing will either sink or swim. Everything's easy in the summertime but whenever college starts back up and both parties are busy (and probably in different areas as well) things change. For now he only lives five minutes or so away (which makes me want to haul ass over there but I know I shouldn't, he's busy with a pile of homework and other things) that whenever things are busy we may split.

But yeah, I enjoy his company very much and have very strong feelings and yeah, the separation is annoying and I'm wondering just why we get this way. I'm wracking my brain thinking about it now and can't even text him because we live in a dead zone.

I will offer you another perspective. Enjoy your feelings, they prove to you that all you is influenced by your new relationship. You can really create a positive vibe to it, if you like.

I say this, because I recently rediscovered my emotions, I'm already feeling happy about feeling at all.
I hope I will meet someone soon that will make me feel like you do now.

I wish you all the best for the future, with the source of your misery of course.

SK

reply to post by Sinter Klaas



Thank you very much, and I hope for the best as well. He's intelligent, is a good cook, is great with kids, isn't bad to look at, and has this dark sense of humor that I just love. That and he's caring and I dunno... There's just something so dynamic about him. I haven't felt this way in a long time.

reply to post by Myomistress


My advice to anyone is to just live in the moment when it comes to love. Its true what they say, NOTHING is forever. Just enjoy what you have now, because it could change in the blink of an eye, and will definitely not last forever.

reply to post by Myomistress


The sad thing is that those characteristics that you now love, worship and adore may be the same ones you despise and have nothing but contempt for in years to come. I've often wondered about that, how a thing can so become its opposite with time and circumstances. I guess its just a friendly reminder that it is all illusion to begin with.

But I do believe in love. Love is the only thing that is truly real.

reply to post by thesmokingman


That train of thought allowed me to give him a chance in the first place and I'm very happy that I was in the moment. I often stay in the moment as well because I know he cares about me greatly and I him and so I ignore the future and continue being around him. It all started it was near the beginning of the Summer off from college and I knew he lived just five minutes away and I was friends with his little sister in high school (he's a year older than me and was homeschooled) and his father was a regular at the store I work at and so he invited me over to my now boyfriend (his son's) graduation party from college. So I sort of gritted my teeth and bared it as I always felt awkward going there as I barely knew any of them and it's funny, my boyfriend would come and talk to me briefly and I'd be thinking in my head "Who does this weirdo think he is? Why's he talking to me I don't know him. D: "

So about a week and a half later, I get a phone call from him randomly asking if I'm taking any Summer courses at my university as he's taking physics courses there and wanted someone to carpool with. I said no as I was taking the Summer off (he's in physics courses because he missed them before and wants to enroll in med school) . So maybe a week or so after that, I added him on spybook (facebook XP ) and we chatted there I was getting to know him as a potential friend etc and he invited me over to his place again and said that he would like to have lunch with me and he cooked for me and we played cards. It was interesting, my little brother likes to run a lot as he's in sports in school and it was a scorching day and I was worried about him because he was talking about talking a nine mile run or so and so we gathered up water and my boyfriend and I jumped in the car to search for my little brother. Well, after I was done being neurotic and protective, my now boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go on a date with him that Friday night.

Well, we went to the movies and at the time I was just doing it as an obligation as he asked me and I wasn't really interested but didn't want to be rude. Well, after that he wanted to hang out more and I figured "well, why not? I have to get out there." and so went with that for a while and didn't really feel any emotions but then they sparked off. All of his quirks became endearing and cute, he became fascinating, something to be studied more closely. We figured out we liked a lot of the same things and were quite similar, we bonded more and more closely.

Then, he and I attended a music festival every day for about a week and stayed at his grandmother's during the day. I had a wonderful time meeting that woman, she's very intelligent and just a dear old grandma. Well, that was about six days where we could walk off together with each other. We went into the mosh pit and he valliantly grabbed my hand so I would not get swept up in the torrent of people. He took me to this beautiful lookout at the top of a mountain near the grounds hands linked. We really bonded that week and decided that we were going to stay together and give this thing an official try and made it "facebook official" .

But yeah, I'm obviously pretty head over heels and still all gooey and lonely at the thought that I might not see him again until Saturday or so because he's so busy with school right now.

reply to post by Myomistress


Wow it from your last post it sounds like he is really into you. The way he sought you out and made the moves, and there must be something special about you if hes physics and med school smart. Id say dont mess it up by seeming like a psycho possessive 14 year older stalker girlfriend ( www.google.com... ). Good luck, keep it cool, be real, be yourself.

Originally posted by Myomistress
I'm at that annoying phase of my relationship where I miss my guy even if I just saw him a few hours before and wish to be with him again. It's just annoying to me that here I am, a grown woman carrying on like a heart broken fourteen year old girl. I'm a bit disgusted with myself really but I can't control how I feel.

I'm just wondering if everyone goes through this at one point or another in a relationship. I personally don't know why I miss him so badly when I just saw him and had a fabulous time. He also calls me most days that I don't see him in person. He's in summer classes and so is busy and I understand this but can't wait until we have more one on one time to be honest.

But yeah, we dated for about a month before making it official that we were a couple and it's been about two weeks of that now that we've been in a legit relationship. So yeah... How many others of you have gone through the lovesick 14 year old feeling phase?

I had a chuckle reading your post, but can also understand completely what you are going through as we all have gone through this at one stage or another...

Just wait until you have been together for more than 10 years... you will hate the sight of him!!!

On a more serious note... JUST ENJOY...

Kindest respects

Rodinus

reply to post by Myomistress


I would say that yes, everyone has to go through that phase, at least if what they feel is genuine. You have the advantage however, of actually seeing your significant other on a frequent basis, and being in a relationship with them. I think the worst thing is when you have that initial longing, drawn out over a period of years, with no affirmation beyond the occasional night out, and even more occasional passionate connection in the small wee hours of the morning.

I'm pretty sure the relationship would be seen as a little dysfunctional if there weren't some element of co-dependency involved.

Maybe my past relationship blunders were because I lacked this feeling?

Typical new love feelings, all rainbows and lollipops. This shall pass. You will enter the reality stage soon enough. Enjoy while you still can.

reply to post by Myomistress


Luckily....you'll grow out of it.

To another:

Id say dont mess it up by seeming like a psycho possessive 14 year older stalker girlfriend

As if they can be otherwise at this age.....

She's got at least two more years of this silliness.....

reply to post by Gazrok


I was comparing myself to a 14 year old almost disgusted at myself, I am not 14 in reality. I am 21 and that's why I was so taken aback that I was carrying on like this because it didn't seem befitting of my age at all. That's why I was asking around to see if it's just a normal stage in most relationships for everyone or if I'm the odd one out. I've been in relationships before but never felt this way before now so it's just all new.

Yup. I am in my 30's and have a a kid around the age of 14 and I feel this way towards me fiance.
I have know him for 2 years, but we have been together for 8 months so the relationship is fairly new.

Originally posted by Myomistress
reply to post by Gazrok

 

I was comparing myself to a 14 year old almost disgusted at myself, I am not 14 in reality.

I am 21 and that's why I was so taken aback that I was carrying on like this because it didn't seem befitting of my age at all. That's why I was asking around to see if it's just a normal stage in most relationships for everyone or if I'm the odd one out. I've been in relationships before but never felt this way before now so it's just all new.

It's funny how at 21 you think you are too "old" to act this way. You're a baby! Yes, you will act like this at any age during the new part of a serious relationship. I met my husband when I was in my mid-30's, and I felt that way when we were dating. We've been together over 15 years, and that pining feeling at separation does go away. My hubs is on a 7-day wilderness hiking trip in the mountains right now. I love him to death, but I'm kind of enjoying my alone time right now.

Can't see him today but he called me to touch base and check in. I like to be called upon just to talk, it makes me feel special like I'm important. That and it's nice to hear his voice. We'll probably hang out again this weekend just because of how busy he is and I'm more adjusted with that now. I was taken aback by the little contact this week because we went to a music festival together a couple weeks ago and were hand in hand almost every single day doing all of that romantic crap. So it's weird to coming back to the real world after living in fantasy land.