posted on Jul, 2 2013 @ 09:14 PM
I backspace the lines I have written,
troubled by my thoughts.
Undoing what seems so fake,
my words cut like a rake.
My heart is glassed over with a plastic sheet
that barely lets it beat.
I can see it through the thin veneer,
There’s so much blood and carnage here.
My anger, pain and love forming a deadly clot,
my life’s flow has been stopped.
So many areas of my life are withering.
unable to heal, I am mortally wounded.
I have pulled back into my core,
my arms unwilling to reach out anymore.
I am afraid to embrace life again
unwilling to risk anything to begin.
Self preservation ,what a hopeless delusion.
“If you seek to save your life you will lose it.”
Living causes such utter confusion,
only dying will bring the conclusion.
I am lonely because I am afraid not to be.
Partner, significant other, and lover,
I fear you for what you can do to me.
I am convinced I will never recover.
I circle life like the oxen
treading out the grain,
baking loaves of optimism
that will never rise again.
Is there no one,
a kindred spirit,
a fellow sufferer,
another lonely person.,
Where are you soul mate?
Have we met or will we meet?
Will you dine with me
or devour me?
I am held together by my faith
that a spirit of love will never leave me.
I am reassured by that still voice
that this too shall pass.