Is it possible to simply dislike homosexual behavior without being labeled a homophobe?

reply to post by SuicideBankers


No. I agree it's a #ty comic, but that isn't what you should be concentrating on. It shows the contradiction in the way many gay people think. They want the majority to accept them and respect them, but then they go on a gay rampage on the streets of many cities around the world to show how gay they are. There is no need to do that and the public doesn't like it at all. That's not a way to get accepted...

reply to post by Paschar0


Yes, it should be.....

You/we should be allowed to dis-like whomever we want....

Personally, I think there is to much 'GAY' Stuff in these Forums!

When I was training I, along with the group, had to work in a Gay Centre. Knowing very little as it was some time ago about real gay-life, learned a lot. We had two tutors one was fine, pleasant, open, polite and very funny. The other was thoroughly obnoxious, aggressive and plainly mean-minded. It turned out they were partners. Its wrong to think of either as a typical gay, they just reflected the spectrum across gay society - the same as in any other society. We all know the show-off and attention-hugger.

I would not have bothered to go to the Centre had it not been obligatory to qualifying but I am glad I did. Although I found some of the practices alien and not something that would turn me on in any way, I had to accept that a woman was not for them and consequently their practices would be very different.

I do feel that nature created this difference as a means of population control and that Mother Nature simply knows best. Its religion that hates them partly because, when you think about it, the fees you pay to the religious establishment to keep it in business from a family are far higher than from two single males throughout their lives.

The sheer nonsense of so much of this is that so many gays take power from being 'prestigious religious'!

Originally posted by Lacerta
reply to post by SuicideBankers

 

No. I agree it's a #ty comic, but that isn't what you should be concentrating on. It shows the contradiction in the way many gay people think. They want the majority to accept them and respect them, but then they go on a gay rampage on the streets of many cities around the world to show how gay they are. There is no need to do that and the public doesn't like it at all. That's not a way to get accepted...

LOL Ridiculous. You made your point perfectly just now without a phallic filled stereo typing comic. I think you missed the point. To bad you had to post the garbage before thinking and making a logical post. Kinda takes away from it.

The point has been made several times here. I would be put off by obnoxious behavior from anyone. If the OP would have started his string off with funny story i was in line with some really obnoxious dudes talking about sex and wearing butt loads of cologne/perfume I think the thread would have been dead from the get go. Its the fact that these gentlemen were homosexuals that has everyone up in arms and thats just wrong.

Originally posted by Bone75

Originally posted by Minus

I am like you also BORN to dislike gays

I'm with you on that one. I don't CHOOSE to be repulsed by homosexual behavior, it comes naturally.

I didnt know bigots could be so witty!

Are you naturally born to hate people of other races to?

Nope, if they knew that you hated their behaviour, then they would think right away that you are a homophobe. Even though you really are not against them as a human being.

Hell yea they can be gay, just don't overdo it, they don't need to act like a super mega gay person, just act like a normal person.

reply to post by ThinkingCap


You know, a lot of people don't understand this, but certain public outbursts are extremely annoying, even when done by women. I would never go out with certain women who like to show outbursts in public and like to act...plastic. Plastic women are extremely annoying to me, and even if they were the most beautiful in the world I wouldn't even think about going out with any of them.

If you are gay, or lesbian, or whatever that's fine, what I really dislike is there are times when I am out in the streets and a gay person whistles at me, or tries to make a pass, and when I tell them I am straight some of them just keep going even with my girlfriend besides me. I am not Brat Pitt for crying out loud but there are some gay people that just keep on going even after you tell them to please stop. I have seen the same thing happen to friends of mine. This only used to happen to women, now it happens to us men too.

I blame this "new behavior" (it's been happening more and more for the past 15-20 years or so) to these drama displays that people are told "you must show your pride of being in this minority group... go out and tell, no... yell to the world what you are"... Seriously, who cares?...

Is the simple matter of people being either gay, or lesbian or straight going to make the world a better place?... No

Is it going to stop all the problems happening in the world because you are making a scene in the streets yelling to the world you are proud of being in x group?... No

Being gay/being lesbian, being Hispanic, a woman and in general "being part of any minority" is being used by certain groups, who don't really care about who you really are, to use people in these minorities just to make a show, as a political tool, to even get funding, and simply to "SEPARATE PEOPLE."

BTW, I am Hispanic so I belong to a minority group as well, but I don't see any problems being solved by me going to the streets with a sign proclaiming and yelling "I am Hispanic!!!"...

Why can't people just act normal without trying to cause drama in the streets? I don't go around with an ad in my hands yelling "I am straight, I am straight"... WHO CARES??? Of course except whomever you are having a relationship with, most other people don't really care, or mind in what group you put yourself in.

These demonstrations of "pride" in the streets are nothing more than attempts to divide you from everyone else.

I don't care/mind whether you are gay, lesbian, transsexual, or heterosexual, or whatever else you want to be. It is your choice, but I do find it ironic how for example some people, from any group, want to proclaim their pride of being who they are but at the same time want to belittle anyone who is not like them. It happens amongst many different groups of people.

I am not saying "everyone in some groups are like this", but haven't you noticed how for example some gay people, since we are taking about homosexuality, like to show their pride but want to belittle for example religious people? It also happens the other way around of course where some religious people want to show their pride and proclaim every gay/lesbian person will go to hell"... Not all religious people are like that, just like not all gay/lesbian people are like that.

What you are, and what you choose to believe in is something personal for each person, and shouldn't be used as "ammunition to belittle others different than yourself."

People should accept others and themselves as they are instead of trying to change anyone different than them. This goes for ALL groups.

I'm not sure... ? You seemed to get along with them okay, if you don't like the behavior but you find the people fine and aren't threatened by the idea of them trying to get in your pants, probably not... I don't mind that behavior.

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I certainly wouldn't recommend trying to control their behavior, that would be out-of-line. What bothers you about it, exactly? Is it because the behavior is tied to being gay and therefore you don't like it? That's probably being a homophobe.

Or is it because the smell of the perfumes and herbal essences makes your sinuses act up? That's called having allergies.

Can you identify the reason you don't like the behaviors? If not, probably homophobia or discrimination.

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Funny story, my friend Seth does NOT like gay people and he gave a ride to my other two room-mates to down-town Boise the other day... we all knew it was to a gay pride festival, but apparently he never figured it out, until I told him later...

And he was like "No wonder! I was wondering what happened to downtown Boise, I thought everyone had just gone nuts since last time I'd been there!"

That's my advice, at least know where you stand and accept the consequences of it. I don't think any of us really care that Seth doesn't like gay people, we just make fun of him for it, it can get hilarious sometimes.

It could honestly get in the way, though, for example if I have to bring a gay business partner or band member over to the house, and in that case, it is a destructive habit.

I think it is cool that you talked to them about it and were open to expressing your feelings about the situation, that's awesome!!

Maybe it's not the gay thing that bothers you, but the abnormal cultural behavior that you aren't used to in general.

Yes, it is possible to dislike homosexual behaviour without the need to be labelled homophobic. Just like its ugly cousins "racist" and "sexist", the term is used excessively - often without justification.

Nevertheless, I encourage you to define people less by their sexual orientation and more by their character as a person. Unless they are going out of their way to express their sexual orientation, the vast majority of people - whether straight, homosexual or bisexual - just want to be treated with respect and dignity and accepted for who they are as individuals.

No, I don't think you are a homophobe. My daughter is gay and as such I support everyone's right to be who they want to be. However, I don't like overtly public displays, for example, my daughter and one of her (very clingy) ex's came to the supermarket with me one day and her girlfriend was all over her, hugging and kissing her etc and I blew a fuse and told them to stop it, it's a supermarket fgs, lots of young children etc around and in my opinion overtly sexual behaviour is just a no no in that situation.

My daughter understood and after we talked about it, she admitted that she hated it when her girlfriend would do that (apparently she did it everywhere they went, college, out shopping in the town, socialising etc) and of course from my point of view it wouldn't have mattered if it was a male or female she was with. Ultimately that was one of the reasons they split up, because my daughter also felt uncomfortable in those situations, but previously if she asked her girlfriend to stop, she would be accused of "not loving her anymore" or "being ashamed of her" when that was not the case at all, just that it was inappropriate in those circumstances.

Closed for staff review.

Reopened.

What the OP is referring to are flamers. For what it's worth im straight but I know lots of gay people cannot stand the over the top antics of attention seeking flamers. If your gay, your gay, whatever...nobody needs to make a public exhibition of themselves for any reason. Its a bit like lesbians who dress like dudes, have haircuts like dudes ...they all do it for a public reaction...it's just pathetic attention seeking behavior...it doesn't offend me, i just find it pathetic and childish. There are more gay people about that you will never notice, for being gay because they dont make their sexuality the thing that defines them in life... most people don't go around making an exhibition of themselves in order to get noticed, gay or straight.

reply to post by destination now


No it irritates me when ever straight couples are all over each other in public too... I mean you dont see straight couples making out in supermarkets as a rule...so for your gay daughter and her girlfriend to do that only highlights how some gay people feel a need to make a public statement...to show the world how gay they are...straight couples who make out in public do it for the same reasons, usually one of them is highly insecure and wants the world to see they have a partner. Most regular people do not feel a need to make a show of themselves in public.

It's possible to be anything if you are ready to stand for your beliefs. I find it ridiculous how some people ask others if they are 'allowed' to have a certain opinion. Everybody's given free will and a brain to learn from the environment and their experience. It seems more people are preoccupied with estimating fears and risks rather than finding their own truth and living by it.

Originally posted by Minus
No its absolutely NOT possible.

You will be hunted down by the gay community as they try to convince you to like them OR at least understand and accept them, OR just maybe they will say how screwed up you are not liking them - they are like a raging band of mosqitoes at your BBQ.

for some odd reason its OK to be gay, but NOT OK to dislike them

I am like you also BORN to dislike gays

edit on 30-6-2013 by Minus because: i can

Do they really hunt you down? As in, show up at your door, drag you out and throw you into a car and take you to a re-education camp to love gay people? I could care less what gays do. Whatever they do with their lives has zero bearing on mine. Zero.

Originally posted by TheBlackHat
reply to post by destination now

 

No it irritates me when ever straight couples are all over each other in public too... I mean you dont see straight couples making out in supermarkets as a rule...so for your gay daughter and her girlfriend to do that only highlights how some gay people feel a need to make a public statement...to show the world how gay they are...straight couples who make out in public do it for the same reasons, usually one of them is highly insecure and wants the world to see they have a partner. Most regular people do not feel a need to make a show of themselves in public.

Yeah, my boyfriend is very PDA and not shy about it, but I on the other hand believe that certain things remain private between a couple. A quick smooch is ok, but leave the rest for privacy. So on that note, no, I don't care to see gays or straights kissing and all that in public.

reply to post by Taissa

Yeah, my boyfriend is very PDA and not shy about it, but I on the other hand believe that certain things remain private between a couple. A quick smooch is ok, but leave the rest for privacy. So on that note, no, I don't care to see gays or straights kissing and all that in public.

Yep, some quick kissing is fine, in public, but whether gay or straight, I don't want to see a couple completely making out in public, unless that is kind of fitting the setting (and very few such situations there!).... Save it for privacy. Likewise, fine, be gay, but you don't have to scream it in my face and eyes by being as flamboyant as a Vegas showgirl either. (unless you're hot lesbians...then you have a pass...)

Originally posted by Paschar0
Funny story, while out with friends, a group of men were on line for the theater just in front of us. Some of them were very flamboyant. What's flamboyant? Loud, sexually suggestive remarks every two seconds, feminine clothing, mannerisms (swishing in and out of line) even smells, I could go on, but there was just no mistake, they were advertising and putting on a show and being especially vocal about how if people didn't like it, they're just repressed.

I made a remark to my friends that I didn't like those kind of people. I was immediately accused of being a homophobe. This despite never having talked about the subject to them in our entire time knowing each other. The funny part was that while we were discussing it, the guys we were talking about picked up on it and confronted us, I unashamedly explained why I didn't like it, and to my surprise, one of their group said he didn't like it either and actually defended me, while others from both groups started in on the why I'm such a bad man.

By the time we were allowed in, we were all getting along and talking with each other just fine. Why? because I explained that ANY man acting that way would be annoying to me, whether they were gay or not. Same holds true for other groups, it's the BEHAVIOR most people dislike, not the person's sexual preference, race etc.

So am I a homophobe?

Actually, I know gay men who hate that kind of behavior too. The flamboyant, out there, types annoy many other gay people too just as an overly aggressive, chestbeating, jerk annoys a lot of fellow heterosexual men.

reply to post by Paschar0


Gay pride is primarily a reaction to the discrimination that these people face, it often takes years for people to overcome other peoples usually negative opinions on them, to the point where they become proud of themselves and who they are. There is nothing remotely wrong with this. Gay pride is entirely reactionary. Gay people put it much better than I can myself:

Gay Pride is not the LGBTQ community feeling accomplished or boastful about their sexual orientation, and it is not about parades and rainbows. It is about creating a safe space for LGTBQ members to commune together in support of each other, it is about welcoming those outside our community to join us and learn who we are to educate away the stereotypes, and most of all it is about personal strength. It means that I have overcome the shame, the ridicule, and the discrimination I once associated with being myself. It means I have allowed myself to transcend how other people’s insecurities affect me when revealing my orientation. And it means that I am proud that I have chosen to be honest with myself and others about who I am, that I will make no apologies for it, and that I will continue to be happy and successful by my own standards because I choose to do so everyday.

www.loveboldly.net...

If certain individuals take this pride to the point where it's completely inappropriate and over the top, for example, making sexually suggestive comments out loud, talking out loud in an obnoxious way, then it's perfectly fine criticising them for it. That in itself does not make you a homophobe. However, if you dislike homosexuals in general for this behaviour then you are a homophobe, because:

A. You in such a case wouldn't seem to understand WHY grade pride exists. (or you just don't care and would rather support the reasons for this behaviour).

B. Most gay people don't tend to actually act in a stereotypical way. Actually I believe there are gay forums on the internet for gay men who like sports, BBQs, hunting, guns, and so on. That's uhm... the entire point of the whole "rainbow" thing. That gay people are an entire spectrum of different people.

If you stated as you did in the OP, you don't like "those kind of people", then it would come accross as you don't like gay people in general, thus be homophobic. It seemed that in the end you explained yourself, and said that you don't like that specific behaviour itself, then that is not homophobic.

Also, I thought this video was relevant:



Also who likes my avatar?