posted on Jun, 26 2013 @ 12:03 AM
Thanks OP for taking the time out of your day to share your experiences with the world.
Likewise, your post has compelled me to do the same.
There was a moment in my life years ago that I think about every so often. I had an experience which quite strongly resembles facets of your story.
It's been a while since someone else's words brought me back there so quickly.
I was a teenager and fresh out of an inpatient treatment facility. I spent 50 days there by court order after quite candidly expressing the slew of
my shenanigans during an assessment prompted by said shenanigans. I hope you who reads this doesn't feel that my 'troubles' with authority should
detract from my story. I have never been malicious to others, and I'ev always been a productive member of society. I just spent some time in my
youth with a complete disregard for the status quo. Anyway....
I had come home two months removed from everything I'd known previously. I was very sober, on a great sleep schedule for the first time in my life,
had been working out for the first time in my life, was tobacco free, my exposure to media was practically 0, and I was dabbling in a personal
relationship with god for the first time. Another disclaimer; the spirituality I was experiencing at this time was completely non-denominational, as
I was then and still am a seeker and agnostic.
Everything seemed so clear.
I remember being in a room with others, or on a bus, and being able to sense the energy in the room and of other people. The energy was so tangible
that looking back I swear I could see it. Like meandering waves flowing from person to person to object as control dramas and power plays dictated
everyone's actions and words.
I remember while interacting with someone being able to amplify my own energy and send it to them.
I recall that feeling the OP describes as almost being dead. I would decide to help someone energetically and would say the words they needed to
hear, or act ever so slightly, or even at times with just a smile I would fill them up, but completely effortlessly. The words that would come out of
my mouth would be automatic. As if my spirit was indeed operating on another level while my body complied as a secondary manifestation.
These experiences were beyond just my whims to be kind and helpful. Other times I would use my new understanding to prevent becoming a victim of
someone else's drama, power play, energy vampirism, whatever you'd like to call it. I absolutely could not be manipulated without at the very least
my consent in the matter. My relationships were blossoming at a rate I'd never experienced before. Authority, family, friends, it seemed like
everywhere in my life I had transcended something petty and had come back to share it. The feeling of detachment was always the strangest part
though. My meat vessel could do no wrong. Every single motion in my life was serendipitous and synchronistic.
And where did it go? I still have a grasp of all of these concepts, but on a much less personal level. Indeed more like reading it in a book or to
myself as I write this than actually living it every day. Again I struggle and seem challenged by the mundane. it's like another poster said, you
think you hit the top of the mountain and find out it was just a ledge.
Who knows though... Maybe it started to fade when I finally took another drag of a cigarette, cracked that born-again beer. Maybe it was the girl I
met that summer, or the hours I spent at my new job that sucked me back down into my shell with its games and problems and fears. Maybe these are just
the tides of life.
Thanks you OP though for reminding us that ascension by whatever silly definition is real and attainable, what it might look like, and not to give up