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Adora (beginning of my novel)

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posted on Jun, 25 2013 @ 04:55 PM
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reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 


Ah, the old "Go big, or go home" approach. Its the best way I think. Plus, it means that next time someone who has watched too many gangster movies, shot, and set in Chicago, asks you "Whats the big idea?" you actually have an answer!




posted on Jun, 25 2013 @ 05:46 PM
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Chapter 2




Who on earth knew how many seconds, minutes, hours, or days had passed until Adora stopped crying.

Her hands were pressed against the glass of the black Transport's window, her face leaning against it, unable to see anything outside. She was still in the strange black tunnel, and though the Transport was traveling top speed, she had no way of knowing where it was headed.

Adora's cheeks were soaked with tears, though now, her sobs had ceased, and her expression went blank... numb, even... she stared out the window, into the blackness with an apathetic face. She'd cried so much, she was no longer able to. For the first time in her life, it was all out of her system.

The small florescent light on the ceiling of the miniature Transport was the only way she was able to see.

Come to think of it, there were men appearing from the hallway... that's how her father must have been shot... they snuck up on him...

The image of her father replayed in her mind... she couldn't think of anything else. His face, so serene, his final words... his blood...

Adora, after what felt like hours, slowly slid her hands off the window, looking at the floor vacantly.
Her father's pocket knife was still lying there, where he'd thrown it.

She almost didn't want to move it... she wanted it to stay where it was. It was the last thing her father touched... and he was the one who placed it there...

Still, Adora decided to pick the knife up anyway, all of her sensitive thoughts seeming to subside.

It was a great knife, of great quality. It had a gold colored handle with a black rubbery grip, and a black blade sharper than a razor. Her father certainly took care of his knives.

Adora opened the blade, then gazed into it.

The scar on her left palm seemed quite a bit more apparent now.

For some reason, the Imperium was after her, and her father. And her RFID chip would make his last efforts all for not, if they tracked her down and captured her--she could not allow herself to be caught.

She pressed the blade against her palm, gulping, clenching her teeth, her breath slowing...

The cold steel grazing her skin made her heart pound.

Adora looked disheartened, anticipating the pain horribly... God, she wished she could do anything, anything but this...

But... she had no choice.

Her father had told her too.

He wouldn't give her such an order if there was any other option.

Inhaling heavily, Adora withdrew her breath, bit her lip, and pushed the blade into her skin.

Adora released a cry of pain... it was unbearable...

Still, though everything within her was screaming at her to stop, she buried the blade a little deeper into her hand, wincing, tears beginning to form in her eyes again.

One-third of the way in...

After the blade cut roughly a third of the way into her palm, she tossed it aside, letting it hit the ground, the tip now spotted with her blood.

Adora knew exactly where her chip was, having fooled with it many times. Despite her hand now pouring blood, she opened her fingers, grabbed them with her free and uninjured hand, and bent her hand backwards as far as humanly possible.

More blood coated her hand, and she stifled her cries, as the wound was beginning to split open ever so slightly more.

Still, after bending her hand, she placed her pinky into the side of the wound, felt it run across the edge of the chip, then pushed--until the little, blood-covered device popped out of her hand, hitting the floor of the Transport.

Adora squeezed her left hand shut, hoping the pressure would help to stop the bleeding, and hopefully to ease the horrific pain. She picked up the chip from the floor.

So very tiny, it was. Pill sized.

It was made of metal, but it was such thin metal it felt almost as flimsy as plastic.

Adora had always wondered exactly what the chips looked like...

After giving it a good long stare, she squished it between her index finger and her thumb as hard as she could--and it snapped.

It set off a little spark, then the microscopic remains of it fell from her fingers and rained upon the floor.



edit on 25-6-2013 by XxNightAngelusxX because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 26 2013 @ 06:15 AM
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Your story is coming along nicely. I've been reading it off and on all day! Keep it coming. Great work.
edit on 26-6-2013 by jeramie because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 26 2013 @ 09:16 PM
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reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 


Dear XxNightAngelusxX,

Sorry that I wasn't able to catch up sooner. I think the story is coming along really well and can't wait to read the rest of chapter 2.



posted on Jun, 29 2013 @ 02:48 AM
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Continued~

............


A deep breath escaped her... and with the exhalation of this breath came a feeling, an odd, easing sensation spreading through every inch of her body... after watching the RFID chip snap and shatter, it seemed that, with this exhalation, she was not only releasing recycled air... but releasing her life... every day, rolling out of bed, putting on her uniform, and going through the motions of school life, the bullying, the tiny happy experiences of getting her favorite school lunch or passing a test, the afternoons when she'd have the apartment unit to herself while her father was still working, and she'd spend the time drawing, writing, and listening to her radio as she snacked on BBQ chips her father was sure to buy her with every credit payment... her routines were gone... her life was gone... her father was gone... it all vanished, and so very fast, like a single, swift breath... gone...

Adora was sure to keep her fist closed, ensuring that her hand would not bleed out. The tunnel was endless... even going two hundred miles an hour, the black tunnel went on for at least an hour...

Sitting on the back, bench-like seat of this Transport, as she always had on her way to and from school every day, Adora leaned sideways, lying on the seat, staring at the ceiling, dimly lit and dark.

Time passed.

How much time, she didn't know... but it was starting to seem like too much. It felt like hours, lying there as the Transport traveled faster than light itself, heading to some mystery location...

Adora began to anticipate her fate, once her destination was to be reached.

Well... where could this Transport be taking her?

The dead land outside of Orbis was uninhabitable... no one could survive outside of Orbis. It was impossible.

Which only meant that this Transport lead to another location inside of Orbis. And, as long as Adora was in Orbis, the Imperium could find her with almost no effort... even with her chip destroyed.

She wondered what kind of plan her father could have possibly had. He rushed her into a strange black Transport, buried underground where no one could find it, and he seemed convinced that this Transport could get them to safety... but Orbis was Orbis. No one left Orbis, and everything in Orbis was kept on record. There was nowhere anyone could hide. It wasn't possible to live without the chip... everyone's chip held their information, including their digital credits, without which they would be unable to buy or sell anything. All buildings, inside and out, were equipped with cameras, and all Orbis citizens were obliged to report any suspicious activity they may see, with serious penalties if they fail to do so.

Adora couldn't fathom how anyone could live under the radar in Orbis...

Everything in Orbis was the radar.

Thinking about exactly where she was headed, and whatever she might face, made her heart throb as she glared at the ceiling, wearing a gaunt, darkened, cumbersome face...

And time continued to fly like the black Transport.



posted on Jun, 29 2013 @ 04:22 AM
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reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 


Dearest XxNightAngelusxX,

Please don't leave ATS. You are amazing and a good writer. ATS is not here to fulfill all of our needs and wants. It is a place to meet for limited reasons. Keep letting people know you in every venue that you find and don't worry if all the venues are limited in what you can say. Show as much of you as you can in to others and accept their limits to what they allow themselves to hear. Be true even if nobody in one place can know all of you. It is like love, nobody can know you perfectly, let them grow in their understanding of you. Agree on the fundamentals and accept the minutia differences and enjoy them. Stasis is boring. Hugs and peace.



posted on Jun, 29 2013 @ 05:08 AM
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reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 


Keep it going !

Grand job so far!



posted on Jun, 29 2013 @ 06:12 AM
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Going very nicely!

P



posted on Jun, 30 2013 @ 01:36 AM
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Continued~

..........


As reality seemed to fade from Adora completely, her breath slowed, her mind blurring... memories of her father flooded her mind, so vividly he could have been right beside her, whispering in her ear... goodness, you keep growing... I'll have to getcha' something special if your grades keep coming up... I love you, sweetheart...

It was a while before Adora's eyes cracked open, and she realized that the whoooshing sound of the Transport had long stopped.

The outside was still black--but not pitch black. Oddly, somehow, she could tell that the Transport was no longer in a tunnel... and no longer moving.

A swirling mesh of violet and black covered the sky, the night clouds blanketing the ionosphere gracefully.

Adora sat up, placing a hand against the glass, staring outside.

There were no buildings in sight... bit she was no longer inside. The sky was visible. Where on earth could she be...?

Her hand swept over the wall of the Transport until she located a rectangular indention. After locating the second indention, she attempted to mimic her father by opening the door manually--then upon pressing the two buttons, the door slid open itself.

The outside was vast... no end in sight...

Adora's heart skipped.

Her fingers tightened around the Transport's opening, and she pulled herself out, slowly but surely with her un-bloodied hand.

Stepping onto the dirt, Adora suddenly found herself in a place she could have never imagined setting foot on.

Flabbergasted with disbelief, she knew exactly where she must have been.

Dead land.

The land was barren dirt and sand, and if she hadn't imagined it, the air seemed a bit hot, dry as it grazed the back of her throat...

The Transport sat on the rail line, on top of a track line that stretched back for many miles... from the direction it had come.

And following the sight of this track, Adora spotted a shining in the distance.

What must have been a hundred miles away, it illuminated the night, the only light in this dark, empty wasteland... the luminous glow of the blue shining Orbis.

Adora gulped.

Was she seeing this? Was this truly real? Was she really so far from Orbis?

She'd left Orbis?

It wasn't possible, she thought frantically, shaking her head slightly, her eyes locked on the nation of Orbis that was now out of her reach... so very far...

How?

The dead land was called "dead" for a reason, as Mr. James had always said.

It was a radioactive ruin, where nothing lived, and nothing existed.

Yet here she was, standing on the dirt of the dead land, and the air seemed no more toxic than the air of Orbis. In different little places of the desert, a few trees were visible, and she'd not yet fallen over dead from radiation poisoning.

Adora couldn't tear her gaze from Orbis.

So far, it was... even if she'd wanted to return, it was impossible.

They'd kill her on the spot, just as they did her father.

And the track line coming from Orbis, on which the black escape Transport had traveled, was at least a hundred miles long. Not a distance Adora could walk if she tried.

The only reason she could clearly see Orbis from such a great distance was because it was so very bright and massive. But from here, in the middle of a silent desert nowhere, even Orbis looked tiny.

Her life, it was.

Orbis was her life.

But here, now, she supposed it was tiny. Her life, the tiny, unimportant life she'd lived in Orbis, day in and day out, helping no one and serving no purpose, promoting no cause and doing no good, that tiny, insect of a life was gone... hundreds of miles away...

And gone, forever.

She'd never experience it again...

Never.

Adora, at last, looked away from the blue nation, examining the track line...

In front of the black Transport was the end of the track.

Underneath the rail line, just like on an ordinary road in Orbis, was a metal platform supporting the rail line. And, curiously, the end of this track's platform was in the shape of an arrow.

The track platform ended with a point, which pointed directly into the empty, dark wasteland, the exact opposite direction of Orbis.

After giving Orbis a last, serious glance, Adora figured that the Enforcers would be hot on her trail if they intended to capture her... so, she turned, grasping her bloody left hand, and ran... dashed as fast as possible, into the night.


edit on 30-6-2013 by XxNightAngelusxX because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 30 2013 @ 01:50 AM
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Originally posted by AQuestion
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 


Dearest XxNightAngelusxX,

Please don't leave ATS. You are amazing and a good writer. ATS is not here to fulfill all of our needs and wants. It is a place to meet for limited reasons. Keep letting people know you in every venue that you find and don't worry if all the venues are limited in what you can say. Show as much of you as you can in to others and accept their limits to what they allow themselves to hear. Be true even if nobody in one place can know all of you. It is like love, nobody can know you perfectly, let them grow in their understanding of you. Agree on the fundamentals and accept the minutia differences and enjoy them. Stasis is boring. Hugs and peace.


Meh. I don't wanna leave ATS.

I think facebook is going to force me off, though.

Sorry... I think this site would be ideal for any form of anti-government protest. The fact that starting these protests is against ATS rules really annoys me... and makes no sense.

Biggest conspiracy site on the web, but you can't post protest ideas?

Deny ignorance...?


Thanks a lot for the compliment, too.


Thanks for following the story, guys. There's more to come!



posted on Jun, 30 2013 @ 02:01 AM
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reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 


Dear XxNightAngelusxX,



Meh. I don't wanna leave ATS. I think facebook is going to force me off, though. Sorry... I think this site would be ideal for any form of anti-government protest. The fact that starting these protests is against ATS rules really annoys me... and makes no sense. Biggest conspiracy site on the web, but you can't post protest ideas? Deny ignorance...? Thanks a lot for the compliment, too. Thanks for following the story, guys. There's more to come!


If I may make a recommendation. I have my own blog on Blogger. I write it and manage it and say whatever I want. While I cuss a lot in person, the site is even kid friendly. I monitor every comment and myself. Start a blog. This site, ATS, is owned by people and they get to decide what is allowed on their site. They allow a lot; but, also do not allow some things. They will not allow talks about drugs and that is their right. Create your own blog, it is clear you can write. Talk about what matters to you, talk about getting together in groups. If others care about the same things, they will find you and you them.



posted on Jun, 30 2013 @ 02:12 AM
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Originally posted by AQuestion
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 


Dear XxNightAngelusxX,



Meh. I don't wanna leave ATS. I think facebook is going to force me off, though. Sorry... I think this site would be ideal for any form of anti-government protest. The fact that starting these protests is against ATS rules really annoys me... and makes no sense. Biggest conspiracy site on the web, but you can't post protest ideas? Deny ignorance...? Thanks a lot for the compliment, too. Thanks for following the story, guys. There's more to come!


If I may make a recommendation. I have my own blog on Blogger. I write it and manage it and say whatever I want. While I cuss a lot in person, the site is even kid friendly. I monitor every comment and myself. Start a blog. This site, ATS, is owned by people and they get to decide what is allowed on their site. They allow a lot; but, also do not allow some things. They will not allow talks about drugs and that is their right. Create your own blog, it is clear you can write. Talk about what matters to you, talk about getting together in groups. If others care about the same things, they will find you and you them.


I actually have a website I plan to get going again. A few years ago, it was really thriving, but it died.

I've been thinking about reviving it. ---> Asylum



posted on Jun, 30 2013 @ 07:01 AM
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reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 


First of all, this story is really flourishing, and I am loving watching it come together. I suppose it is a little like being present at a birth, and I consider it a great honour to be here to see it.

On the matter of your leaving ATS.... What? Well, all I know is, that if you do, it will be ATS's loss, and by that I do not mean that the site itself will be lessened (although of course, it will). What I mean by that is that the membership will loose out on your wit, your passion, your attitude, and , as this thread shows in great detail, your talent as a writer.

That possibility makes me sad.



posted on Jun, 30 2013 @ 07:51 AM
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I've really loved what you've written so far...but, you might want to get this clear in your head...

Item 17, in T&C means You no longer own what has already been written...I may be wrong, but you want to clear this up with a mod before you go any further...it would be a shame to see your creativity claimed by someone else...


Å99



posted on Jul, 1 2013 @ 06:44 PM
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Originally posted by akushla99
I've really loved what you've written so far...but, you might want to get this clear in your head...

Item 17, in T&C means You no longer own what has already been written...I may be wrong, but you want to clear this up with a mod before you go any further...it would be a shame to see your creativity claimed by someone else...Å99


YIKES I MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE!!!



posted on Jul, 9 2013 @ 12:08 AM
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Don't worry, I'm not leaving ATS.

I think I'm done with facebook, though.

Also, since I'm hoping this chunk of Adora will be accepted into the recent writing contest, I'll go ahead and tell you all a little spoiler... if you haven't already figured it out.

Adora's father was a double agent, a spy within the Imperium.

Sorry for the spoiler!!!

I just needed to clarify, because I'm hoping this story will make the "Espionage" contest.



posted on Jul, 9 2013 @ 02:19 AM
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your story is progressing very well .. quite interesting .. finally had chance to catch up on the parts you added not much online time lately real world business to tend to ..

you show great potential as a writer stick with it .. looking forward to reading more of it .. rare that books and stories these days catch my attention and interest ..

apologies not able much in way of tips .. english not my native language only use it here on ats these days ..



posted on Jul, 24 2013 @ 09:49 AM
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Are you going to give us any more sneak peeks into the book? I read what you have showed us so far and im dying to read more! It's such a great story, I was hooked from page 1



posted on Jul, 24 2013 @ 10:48 AM
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reply to post by sarahlm
 


I plan on it.


Just been busy lately. And I usually only have a limited internet access now...

When I get the chance, I will post more. I promise.



posted on Jul, 24 2013 @ 11:02 AM
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reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 


Awesome, thank you! I cant wait to read it all




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