Our Family Is Just Waiting For Us To Die! Please Comment.

Originally posted by shrevegal
reply to post by RothchildRancor

 

Thank you R. for speaking to me. I appreciate it and am glad you are not against me as so many here have been. "They" won't be getting anything....I think....after burial, the 4 thousand or so will get snapped up by credit card company, I suspect.

We have no "estate" to speak of. We had a nice home but couldn't keep it up over health issues. Being husband can't crawl under cars anymore to repair them, he did buy a new one but that will go back...it isn't paid off. I don't have to find anyone else to give money to as there won't be any left. I just think they all thought hubby got a big pay off when he left the Army disabled but he didn't...he gets small monthly benefits. So...the surprise will be on them. Thanx for your kindness.

I really do sincerely hope the best for you and your husband. People like you are cut from the same clay that my dad was, and should be held in high regard. My dad passed away from cancer 4 years ago, and it was earth shattering to me.
I mean I didn't speak a word for 6 months afterward.

He was kind, understanding, tough, invincible, and so many other adjectives. The list runs on.

He didn't deserve that sort of passing and it still haunts me.

Again I truly hope the best!

reply to post by shrevegal


I'm sorry you and your husband have to go through such a hurtful situation. I agree that you should definitely get your wills changed. Not to be vengeful toward your family, so much. But mostly to take away any motivation they may have for causing you and/or your husband any harm in order to inherit your things.

Stranger things have happened. If people like that have their eyes on the prize, so to speak, it sometimes doesn't matter who or what are in their way.

I really hope everything works out for you and your husband. It's sad you're in such a position

Wasn't going to reply anymore but felt I would be remiss in not giving praise and compliments to the wonderful Military Legal staff at Barksdale Air Force Base. They have been outstanding and kind and helpful in every aspect of our dilemma. They are not only doing our wills perfectly as per our instructions, they are helping us and doing our living wills and burial instructions and making legal documents that seal our wishes relevant to that too! Legally, we will be buried as per our wishes, NO cremation! No worries now. We have a Military acquaintance as executor, we have our living will with the DNR we wanted...we will be allowed to pass/die at home with assistance if needed by the VA. The VA has treated us well also. They have visiting nurses that care and understand,! We are leaving what small cash amt. left after burial to the Old Soldiers Home as we know it is needed and will be appreciated and put to good use.

My family doctor of many years who knows what we have endured and is also a personal friend attended the meetings on base with us once a while back when similar family probs were occurring as she was very concerned about my blood pressure (high) spike.We had questions but didn't follow thru at the time. She has tried to help my family and knows what has been transpiring and how hard we have tried to make things right but she also recognizes the futility anymore, I think. She knows I was a good nurse and parent and I have been lucky for her help and support. She even attended some family counseling meetings with me and the others and she has first hand knowledge of the reality of the situation. Family doc will be attending the final meeting as well, thankfully...the one on base for final signing. My pressure is still up.

So, it looks as if things are coming together. My doctor and counselors have known us for a long time and know the truth of things. Folks here or elsewhere who think otherwise...that is their right and I hold no ill will against them. Everyone can have any opinion they wish. I am just glad that I do have professionals and even the Military attorneys being helpful. They have seen enuf in life to know that sometimes these kinds of unfortunate things do happen for whatever reason. None of them say the fault or reasons are mine and that gives me some semblance of peace/solace and closure and relief. People of good heart and spirit will instinctively know my heart speaks true...others that don't are not worthy any longer of my concern. Love and hugs to those of gentle heart and loving nature. You have sustained me and I thank you for that. All is well now and will continue to be so.

Thank you to all the Mods here too! You do an outstanding job and are always fair and kind and considerate. You have so much on your plate yet you handle it all with such grace and sincerity and logically. I, for one, appreciate each and every one of you! Hugs to all. J.

reply to post by shrevegal


Time to say "no" and "goodbye".

They sound ungrateful and taking advantage of your generosity. I have had many people in my life like that. The more generous you are the more people take advantage.

You can stay generous but when people have ideas about ending your life for you, that's the time to run as far away as you can and find new people who are as loving as you are.
They do not have an automatic right to your property. Your attorney should administer your will as you see fit, but be sure your attorney doesn't have ideas of his own.
You might want to ask your attorney how to make sure your wishes are granted for how to deal with your end of life stuff. I think there might be some deeper questions here relating to how nationalized health care is viewing these things and young people who are brainwashed into the mentality of ending life.
Your life is valuable and that is the most important thing.

Originally posted by shrevegal
not even traffic tickets.

Riiiiight. No one is that perfect. I intentionally speed up when I see police cars just to let them know who is in charge on the public highways.

reply to post by shrevegal


That is awesome to hear! So glad you finally got some piece of mind. Next time one of them mentions a pillow, you can say, "Won't do you any good!".... Or, you can just let it all be a surprise when the time comes. Hope you can now enjoy the rest of your years, without this ugliness hanging around. Congrats!

reply to post by shrevegal

Wonderful outcome for your peace of mind, shrevegal!

Congratulations to you for standing up for your final wishes and knowing you are taking care of that final piece of business for yourselves. Now my hope for you is that you go and enjoy yourselves in this life! I will envision healthy blood pressure and awesome days ahead for you and your husband.

peace,
AB

reply to post by Miracula


I stated many times in my posts about not being perfect and have mentioned my worries and concerns relevant to that fact throughout this thread. I have made mistakes all my life in various ways as has anyone. However, I never have had a traffic ticket and neither has hubby...and we both have always owned muscle cars. Mustang now and a Hemi for me a while back. Yet, no tickets. Be a whatever and believe what you want. We used to even build muscle cars together. We aren't perfect and never claimed to be. Didn't lie about tickets tho. Why do some of you folks have to be so mean spirited?

You know, you can enjoy the beauty and performance of owning a muscle car without driving like a maniac and possibly killing someone...perhaps a small child even. Oh, we pass the ultra too slow twits and such within the proper limits. I'm a nurse and have seen what horrible accidents can do. Hubby may have tried one out some on a private road once that a friend of ours owns, but really...Why so many people like to accuse people of lieing? What's up with that? Again, not even a ticket. Call Homeland security , they'll tell ya.

For the wonderful people who read my update and said such kind and wonderful things....I love you all for it and thank you so much. I feel better in every way now and the kindness and love and good wishes you extended to me, mean more than you can know. It certainly takes the "sting" away relevant to some of the unkind responses I received. Hugs and love to ALL that have been understanding, helpful, concerned, kind and just plain loving. That is what is most important in this life...to reach out or help or support others and do so in the most gentle way possible. Any and all comments, even opposing ones, can be appreciated when done with respect and gentleness but some few people do not see it that way. Viscious name calling and accusations shrivel the soul of everyone...the receiver and the sender of such hurtfulness. I'm glad most folks do have kind hearts and are gentle of spirit..that is what this world needs more of. Hugs, love and thanx again to all.

Gonna try and post the pic of something here. May not come out. The monster mom, me.

Originally posted by shrevegal
[However, I never have had a traffic ticket and neither has hubby...and we both have always owned muscle cars. Mustang now and a Hemi for me a while back. Yet, no tickets. Be a whatever and believe what you want. We used to even build muscle cars together. We aren't perfect and never claimed to be. Didn't lie about tickets tho

I was thinking that you might be someone who thinks they can never have any fun.

Speeding while against the law can be done safely sometimes when not around other traffic on deserted highways like the desert where you can see for miles if you have tires rated for that speed that won't disintegrate. Although some states have law that put speeding over 15 mph will result in serious penalties.

Or maybe you are simply concerned about your pocketbook and insurance. There are rewards for perfect obedience. I am amaze to see someone with no tickets.

reply to post by shrevegal


Great looking woman, but didn't you say you were in 70s?

reply to post by Miracula

Hi Miracula, Sorry, I think I misunderstood you. Husband and I have always been "cool" no matter the age. Up until more serious health issues, we both had our own motorcycles, both would hunt/fish/boating and work on muscle cars and yes, they can be fun and fun can be had with them in a safe manner. I used to love to help wet sand and put bondo and grind on old cars and all and help husband. I suppose because of my post topic here, most folks thought of me/us, as 2 old, hunched up, boring, cranky, straightlaced and complaining/self-centered old farts or pervs or something.

That's the problem with web relationships...you can't always read accurately what is in a persons heart/mind/eyes and such. We have always been kind and fair and fun and active and thoughtful and interested in a lot of neat subjects and things....we feel like you are only as old as you let yourself feel. We have had various issues in this decade but even so..we try and live and let live and enjoy things.

Some days when we are both under the weather, we sit and look at our new Mustang and are still glad to have it. I fixed it up to have that Cobra/Shelby look by putting a big cobra decal on the hood and hash marks on the fenders and other small cobra dealys on all 4 sides. it looks really neat. No, we aren't worried about insurance...pocket book....just wanna be careful where the "man" is concerned. We still know how to have fun and are the coolest ole farts I know....even if most folks here just think we are rotten parents and/or nuts. We aren't. Old age really is just a state of mind. Thanx for stopping by and take care.
Also, it is a brand new Mustang 5.0 pearly/metallic gun metal gray with 32 head dealy....like a Hemi but not called a hemi. Hmmm. Is fast tho. Special edition or make or something?

reply to post by AthlonSavage


Hi and hey thanx! Yes, that is me. The picture is not new but not that far off regardless. I have always been a health food "nut", excercise nut, stay active as much as possible no matter what. Vegetarian mostly. Old age is a state of mind...thinking young helps one feel young...sure, health issues ensue anyway but ya gotta go with the flow. I already had MS in that pic yet i feel like it dosen't show. I have always kept good/straight posture and still do. My latest bone density test was great..they said I had the straightest spine they ever saw.

Because of my post topic, I guess most folks were picturing some fat, hunched over ole shrew...gee, I hate to disappoint. I still like to wear nice, fashiony clothes, jewelry, makeup and keep after myself...even when in pain...physical or emotional. Had enuf emotional pain this week but that has passed....couldn't believe some of the things some folks said to me...I'm an emotional incest person? A control freak? A manipulator and so on? Yikes, I have too many hobbies and interests to have time for all that. I have my own life and try to enjoy it. We only see our "kids' like twice a year so how can folks say we are problems to them. We just want respect and love and consideration when we do see them. I don't think that is unfair to ask for.

Well, I got a great spy/adventure book here to read by Clive Cussler and tomorrow we are going to look at the possibility of buying a new lil mobile home for ourselves so bye and thanx for saying hi. Blessings and the best to you.

Couldn't help showing up again like a bad penny you guys. The last 2 posters here have given me a chuckle and i thank you for that. Yep, I never really thought about it...preconceived impressions and all. I can just see it now....in the minds eye of most posters here...picturing me as a bitter, hunched over, fat, biotch of an old bat, waving a cain at every young person i see and getting in the way of folks in the super market with some walker dealy and driving 2 miles an hour in a 60 mile an hour zone. Yikes, that's not me. Old as I am, I dislike those kinda ole buggers myself. The ones that act like they own the road and own the store isles and hate the young. Geez, those folks get to me too.

Not every person with some years on them lets themselves go and acts like a pain in the butt everywhere. Even an older woman can still act kindly, stand tall, look friendly and move with speed and grace. We can still enjoy looking decent when we go out....wear perfume and lace and pretty shoes and still be comfortable. We can still open doors for other folks of any age while out shopping. We can still smell good and even look a lil sexy and feel feminine and good about ourselves. Not long ago, I had a fireman buy me a rose at the store just because we had a nice chat and he liked my friendly manner and intelligent conversation...no drooling from me or urine smell and such. Gosh, I'm havin fun posting tonite. Nite and hugs to all...young and old. Not senile yet.

reply to post by shrevegal


Motorcycles? Yikes. I don't think I could ride one of those unless it was on private property. People do crazy things. I'll rent a scooter to ride around the island, but that's normally not a problem.

So many people drift into my lane, and not temporarily. They don't drift and move back. They stay there.

I'd hate to think of that happening on a motorcycle.

reply to post by shrevegal

Hi Miracula, Sorry, I think I misunderstood you. Husband and I have always been "cool" no matter the age. Up until more serious health issues, we both had our own motorcycles, both would hunt/fish/boating and work on muscle cars and yes, they can be fun and fun can be had with them in a safe manner. I used to love to help wet sand and put bondo and grind on old cars and all and help husband. I suppose because of my post topic here, most folks thought of me/us, as 2 old, hunched up, boring, cranky, straightlaced and complaining/self-centered old farts or pervs or something.

No fooling me. I pretty much had you pegged that way from the get-go. Pretty much how my wife and I will be when we're older as well. (though I'd never want to see her on a motorcycle, as she'd kill herself...if her bike riding skills are any indication). We'll settle for horses (at least she will, I still want a bike again).

I used to ride a motorcycle for a few years. The trick is to go out with the idea that every other motorist has but one goal....to kill YOU. Then you're fine.

Hi Miracula and Gazrok, Good to "see" ya'll here again. As for the motorcycle dealy...hubby had street bikes he would get cheap and fix up and I'd ride on them with him. However, our main thing relevant to cycles were dirt bikes. When I say I had a motorcycle, that is what i would always ride by myself...and boy can they be a hazard and dangerous too...no question. I know what ya'll mean by the motorists and the street riding. Hubby used to spit nickles sometimes when we'd get home after riding and some fool would do something near us that was not cool or safe or prudent.

No, my main dealy was to go out in the nearby woods and feel the wind in my hair and find my own trails and even make new ones...park and watch nature, deer, squirrels...yes, even snakes. They don't scare me but husband dosen't dig on them at all. I dispatched a few poisonious ones when I had to...I was always afraid they would get into someones yard and bite a child or pet.

Dirt bike/woods riding can be lotsa fun. I had a 3 wheeler and all the men folk had fancy new 4 wheelers and 2 wheelers and such....when we all went mud riding..guess who pulled them all outta the mud...ME! I'd put my cycle in low range and use chain and ride them outta their mess.

They used to love to guide me to the challenging mud holes and one called the snake pit. I out rode them all...gosh that sounds conceited...can't help it I was very naturally skilled and good at riding for some reason...some times me and the bike was actually almost side ways going around/thru deep circular mud hole...did it tho. Was fun. Those are the days/things I miss. Glad i did them tho...still have the memories. Thanx guys for replying Stay sweet...stay cool.

I imagine most folks are done reading this thread but I just thought I'd stop by and make a closing statement of sorts. The person I am today, I had to work hard to be that person. I know I am not perfect and who among us can make that claim anyhow? However, inspite of my unfortunate beginning in life, as I grew and matured, I realized the danger relevant to becoming like those in my life that I had to fear....so, early on, I started working on myself. To endeavor to be the best person I could be regardless. As a nurse, I knew of the various avenues open to me such as counseling/therapies and I took advantage of them. Even as a young parent, I took my child to such also. That things went wrong in their adult lives saddens me....it wasn't for lack of trying on my part to try and do the best I could and be the best person I could be.

I was no prude and mischievious when young... like most, but when I became a wife/mother, I knew it was time to put away such childish things...I hoped my relatives would do so too as they grew up. You can try and help your own blood family but once they marry and if a bad choice was made and they change...only so much can be accomplished. I have always advocated counseling and such but you can't force a horse to water as they say. At some point you may have to let go and let them live their own lives.

We all have choices and minds of our own. A bad childhood is not an excuse to become a bad parent and i was always aware of that. Never claimed to be perfect and have been a work in progress as much as anyone faced with such obstacles and problems. Husband and i are generous and kind by nature, not just to family but to friends, neighbors, even strangers. We never believed in spoiling young ones but if we spoiled them with love and it didn't work out in later years....who knows what one can say or do. I know I can hold my head high in that i did the very best I could.

When grand-daughter-in-law shocked me this weekend, I should have taken a deep breath and calmed down instead of coming to a forum. My wording and intentions were written during high emotion and I may have not been clear. Anyhow, I love all my relatives and everyone really...as the Indians says, mitakuye oyasin... meaning, all my relations. We are all one in this world. To folks that spoke to me with hardness in their heart and told me I was a bad person, there is nothing I can do or say to help them see differently and they are entitled to their opinion and perspective on things.

In life, we do good and bad and right and wrong but I never have to feel guilty that i did not try my best. That is all any of us can do. Blessings to all.