and the heart starts beating again...
On my solitary journey that lead to more loneliness, after five years of getting accustomed to being alone, this strange and unexpected thing
happened. I met someone.
I say unexpected because the separation from my wife five years ago had left me broken like a toy that has no more usefulness, hurt from the wounds of
depression and breakdown, that sorta healed but left profound scars. Even though I was the one that took the decision to leave since that union was
becoming unbearable after twenty something years, loneliness and boredom soon made their way to depression and major meltdown.
For two years, I could barely stand being around women. I was lacking trust in them, especially after the backstabbing legal procedures started
beating me left, right and center. In the third year following the separation, I put myself back on the market slowly. Tried dating websites and found
out that they were filled with players or money grabbers. I still had major trust issues and even if I've met a few women, here and there, it simply
My sister had told me that I had closed my heart shut and that I wasn't in a good "meeting" attitude. She was right. I remembered the pain and
didn't really believe in the hope that I would fall in love again.
A few months back, I joined dating sites again. Same games, seemed like no one was too serious about relationships. Some women were catalogue
ordering..."looking for someone taller than 6', blue eyes, blah blah blah. Some women seemed sincere but the profiles didn't match too well.
This is where the point of this thread is arising.
On ATS, we often share experiences, the good ones and the bad ones. We sometimes give advice. We sometimes talk of our personal stuff. And one day, a
few months back, Smylee had put a post in a thread somewhere stating that she had met her husband on e-harmony. I had read about e-harmony but never
joined. That day, I did.
The site was more interesting and people seemed more serious. I looked at profiles but nothing clicked. Had some invites, didn't click. Then a few
weeks ago, after someone had sent me a nice line, I replied.
We've been going regular a couple of weeks ago. Surprisingly, I do feel in love again and so does she. I don't honestly think that I've felt like
this since my teens, or when I started dating my ex, almost thrity years ago.
So aside from saying Thank You Smylee for sharing a personal part of your life and Thank You ATS, the only other point of this thread would be that it
feels darn good to love and feel loved again.
And it feels good to feel the heart pulsating, once more.