posted on Jun, 13 2013 @ 04:53 PM
I've been "playing chess with pigeons," in Mamabeth's delightful phrase, and needed some fun. The result was a video of an astonishing soccer (or
football) play which is posted here:
Go watch it, it's inspiring and jaw dropping. Not like this thread. I know dull when I see it and this is dull. "How dull? Well, consider that
it's published in The West Virginia Record,
which proudly bills itself as "West Virginia's Legal Journal." It involves a personal injury
lawsuit filed against Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity, and everybody else within 50 miles, as is customary in these matters.
The article includes burning, passionate, prose such as:
West Virginia Code required Helmburg to provide the president of the university and the West Virginia Attorney General’s Office with notice of
his claim and the relief sought in writing by certified mail at least 30 days before filing suit, which he failed to do, according to an Order
Granting Marshall University Board of Governors’ Motion to Dismiss filed March 14.
Helmburg “failed to satisfy the pre-suit notice requirement mandated by W.Va. Code…and, therefore, the Court is expressly prohibited from
asserting personal jurisdiction over defendant Marshall University Board of Governors,” the motion states.
“Further, it is hereby ordered that plaintiff’s causes of action against the other defendants in this matter shall be unaffected by the dismissal
granted this day in favor of defendant Marshall University Board of Governors.”
OK!! WAKE UP YOU GUYS!!
Remember, we're dealing with a fraternity here. Points to anyone who has guessed the story. Here are the facts:
At about 1:30 a.m. on May 1, 2011, the fraternity was having a house party both Louis Helmburg III and Hughes were attending, according to a
complaint filed Jan. 23, 2012, in Cabell Circuit Court.
Helmburg, who played for Marshall University’s baseball team at the time but wasn’t on the Thundering Herd’s 2013 roster, claimed Hughes became
intoxicated and attempted to “shoot bottle rockets out of his anus on the ATO deck.”
When doing so, Hughes startled Helmburg, who then jumped back and fell off of the deck of the fraternity house and was injured, according to the suit.
He was lodged between the deck and an air conditioning unit.
Helmburg claimed there was no railing on the deck at the time of the incident.
Helburg claimed the fraternity was negligent in failing to provide a safe deck and that Hughes was at fault for consuming alcohol “which leads to
stupid and dangerous activities.”
Please forgive me. I've read this three times now, and it's funnier every time. Yes, I know I'm sick and twisted and insensitive to people
sufferings. You'll find some new aspect every reading, guarantee it.
I'm only doing this to spread the joy around. The country is collapsing into a Soviet-style tyranny, everybody's fighting everybody, but thank all
that is good that we still have fraternity lads learning that "consuming alcohol . . . leads to stupid and dangerous activities."
P.s. Make that four times now, it's getting more and more funny. - C -
P.p.s. 5, I can't take it any more. This is hilarious, get me my meds. help. - C -