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My Dark Story

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posted on Jun, 12 2013 @ 01:00 AM
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I would like to share a personal story with you about a very dark period in my life...Its 1978, I'm 15 years old and I was married to my 1st husband, he was 22 years old and was in the United States Marine Corp. I was a troubled youth and I had run away from home several times starting at the age of 13 years old.

It was on the streets that I met my husband, He talked me into going home and said he would try to talk with my folks to see if something could be done to keep me from running away again...I waited outside in his pick-up truck while he went in and talked to my dad. A few minutes later Jack(my 1st husband) came outside and said everythings okay and to go inside ith him and we would all sit down and talk.

My dad just says to me...You and this young man are going to be living together but for the sake of the family's reputation we would be getting married.
I agreed and next thing I know were at the courthouse and the Judge granted me as an imancipated minor and that me and Jack could apply for a license and be legally wed. We were married that December and rented an apartment together, I can remember that it all felt like I was just playing house.

Five months later Jack is sent overseas to okinowa. I missed him a lot and I started partying quite a bit with my girl freinds. My dad found out about this bad behavior and asked me what and why I was doing so much partying, I told him it was because I missed my husband and the drugs and booze made me feel better. My dad said if I want Jack to come home early that I could fake a nervous breakdown and the USMC would send Jack home on an emergency type of leave and they probably wouldn't bother sending him back over there because There was only 4months left of his overseas tour.

I went onto the Base near the commisary and I faked the breakdown...crying loudly rolling around on the ground It was quite the sight(lol). Finally someone called for help and I was taken to the base hospital. I just kept up the crazy routine and then they sent me to a mental hospital that was off base. This is when things got ugly...

The shrinks did all kinds of tests EEG, Ink blots...ect. Then they put me in the locked ward with other adults. Not the ward with kids my own age because I was an imancipated adult. Then they started giving me all sorts of pills and injections. I started hallucinating something feirce it was HELL. The Marines did send my husband home but by the time he got there the hospital had screwed me up but good.

After about 2 months of being there, a staff member beat the heck out of one of the younger patients and this happened right at visiting hour there was blood all over people yelling parents insiting that they release their kids and thats how I was able to leave my dad literally strong armed one of the staff and grabbed me up. Not long after I got home I started to have siesures from not recieving my daily dose of what ever they were giving me.

My folks immediately got me to a shrink to see if he could help. Upon our arrival there were about 4 patients with their family at his office as well it was chaotic. The shrink told everyone that the hospital was refusing to give him our records so he did all he could. Finally the hospital released just our records of the prescription drugs we were all on. After about 4 months of recovering my doctor told us that he had finally got the court to release our records but they were not complete. He did find out that we had all been mis diagnosed and that the parents or in my case my husband should file a law suit. We never did that because my parents and husband thought that it would just be too embarassing. I look back at those times and think Oh my gosh I was a lab rat and yes things like this happened in a lot of places back then...Since this Mental Hospital was a place that the military would utilize and their champus insurance paid for my and other military brats and such to stay there, YES this was a conspiracy, which secret project this was is anyones best guess.





posted on Jun, 12 2013 @ 01:07 AM
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reply to post by shells4u
 


Thanks for sharing this heart-wrenching story. I am glad you stepped forward to give us a humbling slice of life. Unfortunately, psychiatry has a long, dark history (ice-pick lobotomies, anyone?) Even today, diagnoses are made somewhat haphazardly without any lab tests and patients are pumped full of psychotropic drugs.

I am glad you pulled through. I can tell your dad really cared for you even after you became emancipated.

You're a tough bird, Shells. Stay strong.



edit on 12-6-2013 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 12 2013 @ 01:08 AM
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I think psych wards are designed like that. remember you're the crazy person



posted on Jun, 12 2013 @ 01:14 AM
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reply to post by shells4u
 


Hmm, a tough story. Politely, though, If you hadn't faked a breakdown n the first place, none of these awful events would have occurred ?



posted on Jun, 12 2013 @ 01:14 AM
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Originally posted by MrJohnSmith
reply to post by shells4u
 


Hmm, a tough story. Politely, though, If you hadn't faked a breakdown n the first place, none of these awful events would have occurred ?


Hindsight is 20/20, eh?



posted on Jun, 12 2013 @ 01:15 AM
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reply to post by shells4u
 


Where was the hospital? You say marines - camp pendelton, CA?

The only kind of legal drugs they could give you would valium, ativan, lorazapam, xanax (ect.)
- that would give you siezures if you stopped them abruptly. But, they would not make you hallucinate.

1978? Were they still experimenting with '___'? '___' would make you hallucinate, but not cause seizures.

I'm a psychiatric nurse since 1987. I'm not sure what kind of drugs they could have been using then. I'm also an air force brat - so it makes me wonder what kinds of drugs they were giving dependents of the services in thier hospitals back then.

An antipsychotic medication - the old ones they used since the '50's - haldol, thorazine, prolixin - wouldn't give you seizures either.



posted on Jun, 12 2013 @ 01:17 AM
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reply to post by Happy1
 


I aplogize mods - I was not using this as a recreational drug reference in any way - you can tell by the context of the post.



posted on Jun, 12 2013 @ 01:18 AM
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reply to post by NarcolepticBuddha
 
Thanks...It was hard time for me back then...But, yes I am a survivor and there's not much that scares me...



posted on Jun, 12 2013 @ 01:23 AM
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reply to post by MrJohnSmith
 
Your right this probably wouldn't have happened to me but there were many other young people there at that time and it happened to them too...they were also misdiagnosed and records lost and other very bad things were happening there that was not in my story. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time...the others were put there by their parents...



posted on Jun, 12 2013 @ 01:30 AM
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reply to post by Happy1
 

Yes this happened in southern cali. my husband was on pendleton....I dont know the name of the drugs but I can remember what it felt like maybe they were not seizures
-It would start in my tung it would swell then my jaw and neck would painfully stiffen and contort and sometimes my hands and back...it hurt so much this would happen periodically throughout the day especially after taking the meds...my shrink tapered me off of everything eventually and just treated me for depression...so seizure may be the wrong word. I did not have these symptoms in hospital just hallucinations, it was after I was brought home that the physical symptoms started and the hallucinations slowly went away.


edit on (6/12/1313 by shells4u because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 12 2013 @ 02:10 AM
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reply to post by MrJohnSmith
 


I realize that there are people who just like to take the contrary view on these boards. I see that quite a bit. But rationalizing official misconduct and blaming victims simply heaps cruelty upon injury. Not cool at all, Mr. Smith.

To the OP: Sorry for your experiences. There are many of us sane people--among which you are most likely included--who would like to see some serious reform (and perhaps a few brutal beatings) aimed at some in the psychiatric "profession." Take care and be well....



posted on Jun, 12 2013 @ 04:04 AM
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1. Don't get married because someone tells you to
2. Don't drink and do drugs to escape the problems you have created
3. Don't play mentally ill to escape the problems you got from escaping the problems you created
4. Don't blame the institution who thinks that there's something wrong with you when you pretend there is
5. Since the points 1-3 aren't normal, maybe if you hadn't pretended, you would receive proper treatment for the actual problems that you do have?



posted on Jun, 12 2013 @ 04:29 AM
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reply to post by shells4u
 


Hey, Shells..just ignore some of the comments in this thread. Some like to make others feel bad for no reason other than to boost their own self-importance.

Some people live idyllic lives, are perfect, and have never made a mistake when they were 15 years old. Some just have never been exposed to the darker side of reality.

I know you weren't fishing for pity or anything of the sort, but were just passing along a story that boils down to being an unfortunate fact of life. Thanks again for sharing, Shells. I like hearing about real people and their experiences. It's how we learn and grow.

It's unfortunate that some posters have nothing better to do than criticize and deride something that obviously happened decades ago.


edit on 12-6-2013 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 12 2013 @ 04:37 AM
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Awful story, moral of it, never pretend to be mentally ill. It isn't fair on those who are.

I used to work in the field and I have heard horror stories on how it used to be but they are better now and I hope someone who is poorly doesn't read this thread and decides not to seek help.
I saw people fake it to get out of doing time in prison but they ended up being sectioned longer than their original sentence.

Just glad you are ok now

edit on 12-6-2013 by boymonkey74 because: (no reason given)

edit on 12-6-2013 by boymonkey74 because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 12 2013 @ 05:41 AM
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reply to post by Ex_CT2
 


id give you a million stars if i could
but one will have to do

well said



posted on Jun, 12 2013 @ 11:34 AM
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I'm sorry you had to go through this, and I understand you were a child but pretending to be mentally ill is not something you should be doing.The field has come a long way and there are much better ways to diagnose people these days, but if it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck it's gotta be a duck mentality is still huge as far as psychiatric medicine goes. Believe it or not, lots of people do fake it too, usually not to the extreme but some for prescription meds to abuse.

I'm sorry you had to go through that, I'm sorry you've had a troubled life. I'm sorry you got married at 15, and I'm more sorry for you, you pretended to be mentally ill.

As a sufferer of mental illness I feel for your misdiagnosis, not much scarier things than that.



posted on Jun, 12 2013 @ 10:59 PM
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Originally posted by shells4u
reply to post by Happy1
 

Yes this happened in southern cali. my husband was on pendleton....I dont know the name of the drugs but I can remember what it felt like maybe they were not seizures
-It would start in my tung it would swell then my jaw and neck would painfully stiffen and contort and sometimes my hands and back...it hurt so much this would happen periodically throughout the day especially after taking the meds...

Hey shells.
That's a heck of a story. Unfortunately, that story is all too common in mental institutions. Or at least it was. The mentality was rarely one of let's get this person better. It was one of.."I don't wanna have to deal with them, so let's drug them up."

It sounds to be like possibly you were given haldol, or one of the phenothiazines such as thorazine. You probably didn't have a seizure. My best guess is you suffered from an extrapyramidal reaction from the medicine. Quite possibly tartive dyskinesia. With this you would have been wanting to keep moving all the time. Lip smacking, tongue protrusions, making faces.

Often the arms and legs are involved too. I've had patients who just wanted to walkwalkwalkwalkwalk. And move, flail their arms, or just move them. But the head is always involved. A lot like you described.
It's too bad you were given something like that there without a diagnoses first. Well, there probably was one. She's crazy, sedate her.



Welcome to where time stands still
No one leaves and no one will
Moon is full, never seems to change
Just labeled mentally deranged

Build my fear of what's out there
And cannot breathe the open air
Whisper things into my brain
Assuring me that I'm insane
Welcome Home(Sanitarium) ~~Metallica
Text

Mental health care has gotten better. Especially since the 90's. But there are still too many meds thrown around all too often. Hospitals like that one, especially government ones, were often the place for experimenting with patients too.
It's good to hear you came out of it relatively unscathed. Except for a hellacious experience.



posted on Jun, 13 2013 @ 01:57 AM
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reply to post by Nevertheless
 





. Don't blame the institution who thinks that there's something wrong with you when you pretend there is



I do blame the institution...The institution was found liable. They were doing what they were doing back then to minors giving them drugs they didn't need to make the youths crazier and keeping them longer and collecting money from the insurance companies...FRAUDS!!! That hospital was closed down...they did their damage for the almighty dollar....Its funny but over the years I have accidently met up with several patients from that same time period and I thank my lucky stars that I didn't allow that place to steal my potential...But sadly some of us didnt weather very well...That place was more of a nightmare for the boys than it was for the girls...My story is tame compared to what they went through...fortunately I was in a heavy drug sleep when the bad stuff they did to me happened...some of the boys were awake...that place was evil and yes I put all the blame on them!!!
edit on (6/13/1313 by shells4u because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 13 2013 @ 02:18 AM
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reply to post by shells4u
 


WEBPIRATE is right - if you were given anti-psychotic meds the side effects would be as he stated.

Anti-psychotic meds really help those who are really schizophrenic - but for those - I worrk currently in a forensic facitily - that don't need them are horrifying. The side effects are horrible.

And there are a lot of criminals that want the "mentally ill" diagnosis, and are willing to put up with these side effects - if it's going to give them a label and a disability check in the long run.

The "professionals" I work with are supposed to be smarter than the patients - Doesn't always happen.

I tell patients that aren't really mentally ill the truth about the meds they may be forced to take - and that the time they spend incarcerated will be longer in a mental health facility than in prison - especially if it isn't a serious crime.

Think how many parents send their children to school - tell them to "act up" just to get an extra welfare check for a "mentally unstable" child - who is given these meds.

What's up with amreica?



posted on Jun, 13 2013 @ 08:50 AM
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Originally posted by shells4u
reply to post by Nevertheless
 





. Don't blame the institution who thinks that there's something wrong with you when you pretend there is



I do blame the institution...The institution was found liable. They were doing what they were doing back then to minors giving them drugs they didn't need to make the youths crazier and keeping them longer and collecting money from the insurance companies...FRAUDS!!! That hospital was closed down...they did their damage for the almighty dollar....Its funny but over the years I have accidently met up with several patients from that same time period and I thank my lucky stars that I didn't allow that place to steal my potential...But sadly some of us didnt weather very well...That place was more of a nightmare for the boys than it was for the girls...My story is tame compared to what they went through...fortunately I was in a heavy drug sleep when the bad stuff they did to me happened...some of the boys were awake...that place was evil and yes I put all the blame on them!!!
edit on (6/13/1313 by shells4u because: (no reason given)


It does indeed sound like the place was a fraud. But, so were you.




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