Do we still have manners, or is that a thing of the past?

Tonight the wife and I were outside of our apartment enjoying a cigarette. Before anyone starts, yes, we fell off the wagon a bit, but we are still committed to quitting.

The point is, an elderly woman was walking towards the entrance and she had a large basket (on wheels) of groceries. I immediately offered to take her basket and carry it into the building while my wife held the doors for her.

The woman was taken aback by our offer but took us up on the offer of help.

Afterwards, my wife just looked at me and asked, "Are we the last generation that has manners?" (We're baby boomers)

Well, are we? Are the millinials as polite?

Are the X-gens as polite?

Do we still look to help our fellow man?

Are we still our brothers keeper?

reply to post by beezzer


Manners go a long way. I extend my hand and heart in fellowship and goodwill even when it backfires on me. I'm not a baby-boomer. I'm just a conscientious person who believes in giving and getting.

But yes, manners are dead. I blame facebook and cell phones. Apathy is the "in" thing.

reply to post by NarcolepticBuddha


I'm not disagreeing with you, but could you elaborate on how Facebook etal, is creating that?

It's becoming less and less all the time. My children (age 13-19) were raised to be polite and respectful. They would help someone in need. But some of their schoolmates I am absolutely appalled at how rude and selfish their parents have allowed them to become.

Originally posted by beezzer
reply to post by NarcolepticBuddha

 

I'm not disagreeing with you, but could you elaborate on how Facebook etal, is creating that?

For one thing, I think people are more reticent to socialize with their neighbors when they can text on their phone and access facebook on the go etc. Who needs to socialize with the man/woman in the street? Not to mention that it distracts one from their surroundings and environment.

Heck, you should see Thanksgiving dinner with my family. Half the people in the room can't turn off their phone for 2 minutes to say grace. Very bad manners!

I think people are just less connected with their environment and the people around them, and are more plugged in with their social media. I see a lot of "not my problem" mentality in my daily life (also refer to the video posted above.)

reply to post by beezzer


I saw an old dear fall over at the bus station the other day, I was quite some distance away but heard her scream (broken leg or hip I think) and a group of teenagers just walked right past, a couple even laughing at her.
Myself and a few others helped her and someone rang for an ambulance.
I could have slapped those kids no empathy at all.
Iam not saying all Kids would walk by but those buggers did.
Manners mean a lot to me, I still hold doors open for ladies (If that makes me sexist well I must be) and call older folk Sir and Madam.
I guess it is how you are brought up I suppose.

reply to post by beezzer
Hmmmm...I too have noticed this general lack of manners...I guess like a carbon copied paper gets fainter and fainter with each copy so has the raising our children to have manners and so on and so forth...Even if we try to instill good manners into our children as a mom some of the things we were taught as youngsters can no longer be taught for fear of our children being led astray by the stranger with bad intentions...and do they teach manners in school any more? It has been a very long time since I saw someone help an elderly cross the street...Its a very sad thing really...

reply to post by beezzer


I hear ya. People have reason In this day and age to be leery of a stranger offering to help. That's a sad reality.

Manners....... well, I think much of that surrounds a socialization from a bygone era. I am old enough to remember men who touched their hats in the presence of a woman they respected. That was a vestige of a still ealier era where men lifted or removed their hats.

Common human courtesy seems to have fallen by the wayside in this age of inna-freakin'-hurry-to-go-someplace. Excuse me. Pardon me. Nice to meet you. May I. Ma'am and Sir. Thank you. Good Morning. Good Afternoon. Good Evening. Phrases you don't hear very often. Small, close-knit communities often still have a bit of warmth. There's a lot of fear and distrust, which gets in the way of people actually talking and getting to know one another. We have the most amazing communication devices ever known to humanity, and do they bring us closer together........ or widen the divide?

reply to post by beezzer


I think for the most part allot of us have manners. I think in some cases it depends on where you live and/or how you were raised.

I know that in larger cities people are Much Less Friendly and whole hell of allot less helpful. They do not open a door for anyone unless it serves some purpose to them. They do not go out of their way to call 911 when they see someone in distress, although they will walk 20 feet out of their way to mash an ant hill.

As far their upbringing, someone who was raised without an understanding for compassion will typically walk the other way when they see someone who is in need of help. However, will be the first to complain when no one offers help to them in their time of need.

My Thoughts. .. .. . If Everyone would extend just 1 act of kindness a day to someone in need we would see a HUGE improvement in OUR world.

reply to post by NarcolepticBuddha


Thats london for you, ever been on the tube? everyone scared of any human interaction. I used to try and spark up conversation like "Oooh is that a good book" etc and people would just look at you like you have stabbed their cat.
I really don't think that guy would be lay there long If it was in northern England.

Out here where I live, manners are still very much in place, but not everybody has them. I think it all depends on how one was raised. If a child sees their parents have common courtesy and go out of their way to help others in need, it rubs off on the kids.

I'm a baby boomer as well, and my children saw me go out of my way to help others, so they also do the same thing. It was never anything I said, because, Lord knows, kids usually don't listen. However, they will mimic what they see growing up.

When you see rude children, know that their parents are probably also rather selfish and have never modeled proper, caring behavior. JMOHO, of course.

Oh, Beezzer, I'm sad to say that manners do appear to be a thing of the past. I miss things like having a gentleman open a door for me and guests actually letting a host know when they won't attend a party. I, too, am curious to learn how social media might have brought this on, unless it's just society's replacing real human relationships with artificial ones.

My pet peeve is when groups walk 3-4 people abreast on a sidewalk in a clump, forcing others to walk out in the street to get around them. I sometimes do an *accidental* hockey check when this happens.

reply to post by shells4u


Well said, Shells. The way I see it, we live in an age and society of narcissism (people posting their whole lives on social networks etc.) And good manners simply don't pay off for "me,me,me!"

Good manners and conscientiousness are something you do for free with no reward. Not very appealing to a generation of kids with a sense of unwarranted entitlement!

reply to post by beezzer
Never fear Beez! I have just returned from a trip to the grocery store, grandkid in tow. I couldn't reach the Sweet N Low (I don't use it, but my neighbor who comes to drink coffee is diabetic so I stock it) but didn't want to chance leaving the grandkid sitting alone in the shopping cart while I climbed the shelves so I started looking around for a stock boy. A group of teenagers came down the aisle and asked if I needed help, and a very "goth" looking young man with a "top knot" scaled the high shelves and retrieved the box of sweetener for me. When I thanked him he replied "Any time, ma'am" with a big friendly grin and the group went on their way. Manners and chivalry are not dead!

reply to post by boymonkey74


I've been on some metros/ trains, but not in Europe. I have noticed that people are especially shy on public transportation. It's like an unwritten rule that you just don't bother anybody on a train.

I think a lack of manners has something to do with being brought up in an urban environment. There's just too many people to extend courtesy to, and there's an element of distrust with strangers. It's a shame because a community is a community no matter what.

Originally posted by MagesticEsoteric

edit on 11-6-2013 by MagesticEsoteric because: (no reason given)

edit on 11-6-2013 by MagesticEsoteric because: (no reason given)

edit on 11-6-2013 by MagesticEsoteric because: (no reason given)

I do agree with you that it can be tough to be polite to some people. Some people can be really nasty when you try.

No need to edit, I agree! But doing it when it's tough is what separates the wheat from the chaff if you get my drift.

I want to thank everyone for their take on it. My reason for posting this was not to glorify one generation over another, but to see if there was a difference.

My children are polite. They are "yes ma'am, no ma'am, yes sir, no sir", kids. They were raised that way.

But I must agree that social media has insulated us to the point where human interaction is something difficult to achieve anymore.

A sad thing, really.

reply to post by beezzer


Cousin Violet agrees with you, as do I. Just because we have social media and have become a more urban society, that's no reason to do uncivilized things like "threatening one behind the laurels."



My son is also polite, and my family will continue to exhibit good manners. Hopefully, if enough people do the same, common courtesy will endure.

reply to post by beezzer


One of the worst displays of UNkindness I have ever seen was on a video. I can't remember where I had seen it at.

The video showed woman was laying on the ground having a heart attack or some serious episode. The was a kid was running around her cheering her on and yelling. .. " This is YouTube Material .. Did you get that? ". .

Truly one of the saddest things I have ever seen.

The video was done in the UK.