Originally posted by kaylaluv
Here's an example of good parenting:
Parent says, "There's this new drug out there to help stop an unwanted pregnancy. It will be made available to anyone, regardless of age. I have
some major concerns about this drug, and it's safety. If you have a night of unprotected sex, and are scared about the consequences, please come to
me first. I won't judge you, or punish you or hate you. I am on your side; I've got your back. You are not alone. We'll talk about your options,
and I will help you make a decision that is right for you." I GUARANTEE you, that no kid who is told this in an honest and sincere way, will ever go
behind your back and buy this drug.
I understand your point. But I truly believe that the kids who are most likely to buy this drug are the kids who have sucky parents.
Hey! You hacked my brain! Those are my words of wisdom!!! But they are great words of wisdom, so we can share them since they are so very wise.
I've come across various other views of parenting skills that those holding; them believe will ensure they will never have to face the prospect of
their young daughter becoming pregnant before adulthood, but when that element is based on parental power over the child, it carries a potentially
fatal flaw if Plan A fails setting up their child for an even bleaker future than an unplanned pregnancy.
Take for example the ideal that raising them with a strict religious upbringing depending on the fear and embarrassment of facing their family and
the church bearing the fruit of such a moral sin to prevent them from any action that could put them at risk of such an outcome. Or another ideal
regarding a style of parenting that depends upon the fear of raising the ire of their parents and fear of a seriously distressful punishment as a
means of prevention. Now consider this, no matter what your ideals and style of parenting aimed at protecting them are, even that which I espouse,
aside from locking them up in the attic until they are 30, you can't be with them 24/7 every day until they become adults there will be times when
you are not there, and although you can hope that you have armored them against any potential risk, there will be times where all you can do is have
some faith in your parenting and hope that when faced with certain decisions she will fall back on what you taught her, aside from that during those
times you have absolutely no ability to control over her environment. As she discovers more about who she is out from under your watchful eye, she
might take little guilty risks she never dared before like having a friend meet her with energy drinks they guzzle before school, they will surely be
faced with some form of peer pressure and you can only hope. She might succumb to those pressures and just once convince herself that the chance of
anything happening if she only gives in once because how could she turn down the prospect of being the Captain of the football teems girlfriend. Or
maybe she doesn't fail you, but some big upperclassman who believes that what he wants trumps all overpowers her on the way home or during lunch
break, grunts on top of her a couple of minutes, threatens to physically harm her if she discloses what he did to anyone at school and struts off
leaving her alone and scared, ........ We do have a societal double standard that tends to vilify a girl willingly participating in sexual encounters,
But for males casual sex is frequently considered a right of passage and the more frequently he can score the more admiration ;he receives from his
peer and sometimes fathers,
Now whether she caved just once, or became more of a risk taker because of how common such behavior is amongst her peers, or one of your worst fears
as a parent has occurred and she is violated against her will under the wise example provided by kaylaluv the daughter has always felt safe talking to
her mother no matter what the subject, so in any of the above situations she knew she had someone to turn to and help her.
In the other two parenting examples such is unlikely to be the case; In the first set of parenting ideals she has had the belief ingrained in her
that her parents would consider her a sinner and be disappointed and embarrassed by her, scared of the possible idea that she might be pregnant, and
unable to deal with the mounting fear of how her family would respond she would be more likely to keep it to herself until she couldn't anymore and
then turn to a peer, a stranger, or run away feeling helpless and alone, In the second set the outcome would be much the same but in fear of her
parents wrath rather than disappointment.
For the last two examples the policy might save the girl from facing the absolute hopelessness of dealing with her situation alone, In the first
the daughter would be more likely to turn to her mother for guidance.