Lets be better, I will start with me

Dear ATS,

I will start by saying that recently I started a thread and believe I made a mistake. I make mistakes, God never made me perfect and I haven't achieved it on my own. I don't think I will ever be perfect; but, over the years I have tried to be a better me, I don't always succeed.

I have in no way been asked by the moderators to apologize and have not been threatened with any retribution for anything I have written. That is a fact. If I was kicked off, I would write about it on my blog, if I was threatened, I would write it on my blog and some people know my blog address. In my opinion, the super moderator who disagreed with me (and I don't agree with all he said), acted in a manner that I appreciated.

I have been in a bad place the last week and let impatience get the better part of me. That happens to all of sometimes, so if you ever make a mistake too, don't think it is the end of the world, we all do. Let me tell you why I am here, I am here because there are many amazing people who have much to share and keep an eye on what is going on. I am here to steal news. Somewhere along the way I decided to contribute. I have my own blog and there I say anything I think. This is not my site, I respect that and try and find a way to contribute things others may not know.

So how do I make things better? I think it starts by showing where I can understand that I am not perfect. Sometimes we can be right and make things worse. Sometimes we can be wrong and make things better. If I have a message to give, it is make things better rather than prove you are right. I understand the truth, the truth is some people dislike me and nothing I say will change that. Other people like me and will still like me even if I am not perfect and I am not perfect, far from it. Maybe only perfect people should preach; but, the reality is if that were true then there would be no teachers, nobody is perfect.

A long time ago, I did something very bad. I injured another for no reason other than to see what happened. That was 40 years ago. It haunted me till I had an NDE, that was the only time I could ever forgive myself. The kid I hurt and his mother forgave me decades ago. It is harder to forgive yourself than others when you understand that we all mess up and take responsibility for our mistakes.

I chose to try and make the time I am allowed to be on ATS to try and be a positive force. I will continue to never be perfect; but, I want to be better and add to the conversation. I know of two people on this site that no personal information about me. One is Hefficide, he knows more that he wishes too. LOL. And there other is my brother Akragon. I promise everything I have said is from my heart. I had a bad week and was not the best AQ I could have been. Sorry if either of you have lost any respect for me.

To anyone who cares, on Sunday I think I will post the whole original thread and then let the congregation actively discuss what I could have done better. It might be a good learning experience for us all.

reply to post by AQuestion


I can't decide if this post is you beating up on yourself or whether you have b*lls of steel. Sometimes when someone invites criticism it can get personal and insulting in no time flat, and that can be a real downer. I don't know you or your posts, but I did read the beginning of your thread and decided not to contribute. Sometimes letting sleeping dogs lie is the wiser choice. Just consider that before you place yourself in the position of potential victim.

Originally posted by aboutface
reply to post by AQuestion

 

I can't decide if this post is you beating up on yourself or whether you have b*lls of steel.

Sometimes when someone invites criticism it can get personal and insulting in no time flat, and that can be a real downer. I don't know you or your posts, but I did read the beginning of your thread and decided not to contribute. Sometimes letting sleeping dogs lie is the wiser choice. Just consider that before you place yourself in the position of potential victim.

Dear aboutface,

Well this thread got no response so I feel free to tell you the complete truth as nobody is going to read it. Both is my answer to your first question. I try and always be the better me and sometimes I fail, I fail a lot, I am never perfect and never will be. I can be very good and I can be a jerk too. While all of this was going on, a homeless person I took in stole some money from me to help his mother, many other things were going on too. I could have kicked him out; but, I did not. That was the better me, I had patience and took the time to try and get him to see the error of his ways and showed that I still loved him. That was the better me, the me I like to be and don't always achieve. I am an imperfect work in progress as are we all, in my humble opinion.

As for being a victim, I never was and never will be. Not one negative response victimized me, I may disagree with them; but, am never a victim, that presumes that I had no choice and I did and messed up. I believe in taking responsibility and trying to learn from the past. I could have done better. I play tournament poker and have won some. In poker the better players relive their past hands to figure out how they could have done better. Daniel Negreanu is my favorite player, his hand analysis is amazing and he just keeps getting better. I think as people we should do the same in our lives, look at what we did, how it impacted others and what we can learn from it.

I was impatient, I was in a bad spot, I was worried about my friend and was looking for help. I knew I would get useless and negative responses to anything I said about being a believer and in my impatience tried to tell the trolls to just let this go and that was dumb on my part. I posted publicly and should have expected what I knew would happen. Lets face it, if I had used a different title to the thread, the attacks would have come anyways. I should have known better, my title sort of justified it in their minds and that was something I could have avoided.

I could have kicked him out; but, I did not. That was the better me, I had patience and took the time to try and get him to see the error of his ways and showed that I still loved him. That was the better me, the me I like to be and don't always achieve. I am an imperfect work in progress as are we all, in my humble opinion.

reply to post by AQuestion


Why was the better you the part that didn't kick him out? Too many people seem to think that personal sacrifice makes a person better. However, personal sacrifice usually entails ignoring the flaws of others and letting them use you.

I say (using only the info you've given), the better you would have kicked him out, and this is why:

If you, and everyone else involved with this person, told him that you expect certain standards from people and if they can't live up to those standards then they can't be a part of your life, then this would have forced this person to change for the better.

He would have to come to the conclusion that:

1. No one will let me use or abuse them.
2. I can't go on the way I'm going.
3. I must grow up.

Originally posted by jiggerj

I could have kicked him out; but, I did not. That was the better me, I had patience and took the time to try and get him to see the error of his ways and showed that I still loved him. That was the better me, the me I like to be and don't always achieve. I am an imperfect work in progress as are we all, in my humble opinion.

reply to post by AQuestion

 

Why was the better you the part that didn't kick him out? Too many people seem to think that personal sacrifice makes a person better. However, personal sacrifice usually entails ignoring the flaws of others and letting them use you.

I say (using only the info you've given), the better you would have kicked him out, and this is why:

If you, and everyone else involved with this person, told him that you expect certain standards from people and if they can't live up to those standards then they can't be a part of your life, then this would have forced this person to change for the better.

He would have to come to the conclusion that:

1. No one will let me use or abuse them.
2. I can't go on the way I'm going.
3. I must grow up.

Dear jiggerj,

Because the better me found a way to use the situation to have him be a better him. Because I am a Christian and believe in forgiveness where there is repentance. I did not say that I ignored his flaws, I addressed them and continue to, still, we are all works in progress.

Thats called repentance and a desire to change, fruit of the Spirit.....\


Now where did God call anyone a donkey or an Ass

ahhhh just let it go, I shouldnt be like that either