Did you ever catch your wife(husband) cheating on you?...Then you are a schmuck(dummy)!

reply to post by JasmineG


why is it cheating?

the idea that you can own another person is absurd, and for the record, women "cheat" just about as much as men these days.

Why not call it what it is? inclination.

reply to post by liquidsmoke206

Growing out of it simply means you've become desperate because your expiration date is nearing or already past.

You really think it is like that for all? No, one example is a fairly young couple (late 20's). She's a very free spirit, and they are both highly attractive, certainly neither is desperate. Will they be together forever? Likely not, marriages in the 20's rarely happen that way....but they are very much in love...and both want to start a family, etc. Desperation? No. They instead are done playing around and both want the commitment and growing old together, etc. It may not be for you, or for everyone. I didn't mean to imply that those who DON'T choose this route NEED to grow out of it, just that many former bohemians seem to eventually go this route.

Relationships based on desperation are likely not a good thing for at least one of the people involved. If people weren't so hung up on finding someone, we'd probably actually be a much more social and less lonely society.

I agree. Why does every one have to be THE one? They won't be. Getting hung up on it doesn't help anybody.

Has anyone ever experienced a friend getting married or getting a serious GF and suddenly you almost never hear from them anymore?

Sometimes, but that is due more to location than any other factor. I also have plenty of friends I've known for a decade or more, and now their spouses are our friends as well, etc.

reply to post by Gazrok


I didn't say everyone, I said 5% of people would still marry, which is probably an exaggeration. But you know marriage would become obsolete for the most part, and probably be turned into 5 or ten year contracts for people that did do it.

Originally posted by liquidsmoke206
reply to post by JasmineG

 

why is it cheating?

the idea that you can own another person is absurd, and for the record, women "cheat" just about as much as men these days.

Why not call it what it is? inclination.

Its cheating because when 2 people have an understanding or agreement to act a certain way, and one of the people uses deception to trick or manipulate the other for personal satisfaction that person is not playing fair.

No one says they own another, but the person being cheated on deserves to know that the other is not holding up their end of the agreement.

Whether in love or in business when someone uses deception for personal gain it is cheating.

reply to post by JasmineG


the only deception is monogamy.

if you're trying to convince yourself that two people can be happily monogamous for life then you're lying to yourself. It's unnatural for one thing, and for another it's based in fear, insecurity, desperation, etc etc...it's negative. Hate what I'm saying all you want, go ahead and demonize me to make me seem more "wrong" but what I'm saying is easily demonstrable, and perfectly sound in it's logic based on the evidence presented by society all around us.

Being independent/self sufficient is the sign of a very healthy person, so long as it's remembered that being independent doesn't mean being completely isolated. Forming alliances with others is fine, having an understanding with another person is of the utmost importance. I'm talking about from the very basic five minute acquaintance to life long friends(BTW, ever wonder why it's usually easier to maintain long term friendships, than long term romantic relationships most of the time? Hint: It's consistent with the exact reasons I've listed above).

Yes people that cheat are being deceptive, but they're also put in a tough position. People are independent, they want to be themselves. Society has us trapped into these crazy relationship dynamics that clearly don't work well.

I honestly don't see how anyone can argue against what I'm saying, unless they use the old..."well none of that's true in MY situation..." Which seems to be the only thing anyone has to say, ever. If you try and use your own experience to back up anything you say, I'll just ignore you.