Women & Blaming Others First

reply to post by charles1952


Oh my I see it! In the distance there . . . THE LIGHT!

Such clarity of reason can only have resulted in such a wondrous miracle!

I am converted!

reply to post by charles1952
Charles I absolutely agree with some of the points you have made concerning the "feminization" (for lack of a better term) of men and boys. Between the modification of natural childhood behaviors and the assault of the media young men are being condemned if they are not in touch with their feminine sides- and it's cranking out a generation of "girlie-men"! The "dumbing down" of the male species that is occurring is doing a great dis-service to our future generations, just as the "dumbing down" of women did in previous generations.

I don't believe that the majority of teachers being female has anything to do with it as the majority have always been female, but rather is the result of the disintegration of the nuclear family combined with the propaganda espoused by leading child rearing "experts" which began to emerge in the 70s- most of which were not even parents themselves. When "time out" became more common than extra chores for infractions of the rules and it became more popular to be a child's friend rather than his/her parent, when parents started scheduling every minute of their child's time instead of spending quality time with the child, when parents became too busy to set rules and enforce them and the answer became "every behavior is a medical issue- let's medicate them" it all began to fall apart at the seams.

reply to post by FriedBabelBroccoli

Dear FriedBabelBroccoli,

"Well, that's fine for you, young man. I still can't see why you've put it off for so long. Maybe there's something wrong with your brain. But, never mind. You're still just as selfish as ever. I want you to pick yourself up, and march right down to that pub you visit, round up all your friends and tell them how wrong they are. Then motor down to that tea shop I was telling you about and spend the afternoon writing nice little apology letters to all your mothers. Show them to Miss Wilkerson, and don't you dare move until she approves them, or I'll give you all six of the best on your selfish little backsides.

"And while you're there, make sure you get your first crochet lesson from dear old Miss Wilkerson. She'll report to me on your progress. Now, aren't you glad you came to me with your itsy-bitsy little problem?"

Is Colny Hatch still operational? If I can't get out of this style of writing, I'll probably have to pay an extended visit.

With respect,
Charles1952

Originally posted by charles1952
reply to post by FriedBabelBroccoli

 

Dear FriedBabelBroccoli,

"Well, that's fine for you, young man. I still can't see why you've put it off for so long. Maybe there's something wrong with your brain. But, never mind. You're still just as selfish as ever. I want you to pick yourself up, and march right down to that pub you visit, round up all your friends and tell them how wrong they are. Then motor down to that tea shop I was telling you about and spend the afternoon writing nice little apology letters to all your mothers. Show them to Miss Wilkerson, and don't you dare move until she approves them, or I'll give you all six of the best on your selfish little backsides.

"And while you're there, make sure you get your first crochet lesson from dear old Miss Wilkerson. She'll report to me on your progress. Now, aren't you glad you came to me with your itsy-bitsy little problem?"

Is Colny Hatch still operational? If I can't get out of this style of writing, I'll probably have to pay an extended visit.

With respect,
Charles1952

Mother dearest lives in another city and unfortunately I don't have the spare funds to spend at a pub (don't drink often, maybe once or twice a month . . maybe). My free time is usually spent in study groups or doing homework.

Can't say I wasn't doing part since 2nd grade though. Have since that time been responsible for doing my own laundry, making my own lunch and dinner, cleaning the house, taking out the trash, doing the dishes, paying for my own phone/car/insurance since I was 16, managing her rental property in town (somehow manage to find the best tenants for her, though honestly have no idea how I stumbled upon these wonderful folks), and would not ever dare to miss a birthday/ mother's day call/card/ present for fear of my life.

I am not ashamed to admit I learned the art of knitting in the 4th grade for a school project, but must admit I could do more with it and return the favor to her by knitting her a wonderful Christmas sweater.

She loves to travel and so I included her in the trip I planned to Thailand during my college years and paid for all expenses except her flight which she covered with flyer miles.

Must say that the framed photo montage of her and I riding elephants and camels (from a trip our pseudo grandmother invited us to into Egypt) did bring an embarrassing volume of tears to her eyes at the birthday dinner though.

As much of a pain she otherwise is I know better than to make a deal of it with her, and oh boy can she be crazy.

reply to post by littled16

Dear littled16,

I can't thank you enough for this post. I was treating it in a little too lighthearted of a way, and I welcome a chance to return to normal conversation.

I do think I was wrong in implying that just because a teacher is a woman, she will feminize the boys in class. Would it be closer to correct to say that, since she is a "modern woman," she will have more of an inclination towards feminizing?

I agree with your points. Heck, I agree with you generally, as a person. May I offer one more thought?

I can't count the number of times the idea of "the American Dream" has been ridiculed or declared obsolete. Even the word "normal" is violently attacked. This makes me think we no longer have a goal to strive for, there is no role which is accepted for the members of a family. The destruction of the nuclear family you talk about, might be because, without a goal or standard, everybody does what they feel like doing. In that case, nobody fills a role and some essential tasks remain undone.

Where are respectful children? I don't object to mischievous, or rambunctious kids, that's always happened. But pulling a gun on a teacher, or hitting her, or having sex in the classroom? Sometimes, today, that's not even reported to the principal. The idea of the teacher pounding on such a kid, followed by a beating by the parents, followed by jail time, isn't even considered anymore. (No, I'm not a fan of spanking. But I'm not a fan of heart surgery either, and sometimes it's necessary.)

Fathers abandoning mothers, mothers having sex (and children) before marriage. While, of course these things happened in the past to some degree, there was a great social penalty and people knew it was wrong. Now?

I don't know of a cure. My hope is that people who understand love, and treasure the other sex, will find each other and create stable units around which society can rebuild. Notice that's a hope, and not a prediction.

With respect,
Charles1952

reply to post by FriedBabelBroccoli


I know that you know.... in every work environment there are (jerks) and some of your female co-workers are just that...jerks! They are accusing you of what they do...they want to make you the scapegoat. I don't like those women you have described; their subtle harassment through their actions... towards you...speak volumes.

It seems to me that you know how to handle it...and stick up for yourself...but what an absolute hassle; everyday you go into a work environment...where around every corner you are wondering...what are they going to accuse you of now...that you have not done!

I feel for you. That type of work environment would just not be worth it to me; unless I was getting paid a lot of money...I'm just saying.

reply to post by FriedBabelBroccoli


Take a screenshot of their desktop.
Make this image their wallpaper.
Hide all icons.
Feel the sweet release of revenge as they wonder why their mouse isn't working.

reply to post by charles1952

Where are respectful children? I don't object to mischievous, or rambunctious kids, that's always happened. But pulling a gun on a teacher, or hitting her, or having sex in the classroom?

They started to disappear when parents started to be afraid to "parent". When the divorce rate started to rise so did custody battles, and the definition of discipline changed to abuse. Now instead of scolding a child or making them rake the yard we medicate them for fear of being labeled an abuser. In years past beating a child and leaving marks were considered abuse, now denying your child electronic devices is considered abuse because it can "hurt them socially".

Children are not dumb and know how to play parents against one another, parents and teachers against each other, their doctors against their parents- and then there is Child Protective Services to add to the mix as kids will even use them against their parents. I remember once when we were kids my sister was getting a spanking and she threatened to call CPS on my father. He responded by telling her that she had better call the police and an ambulance first because she would require them as well if she ever said such a thing again. Needless to say she never said THAT again, but those days have disappeared and the kids know it. They do whatever they want because they fear no consequences- there are none.

Originally posted by Gazrok
reply to post by FriedBabelBroccoli

 

Take a screenshot of their desktop.
Make this image their wallpaper.
Hide all icons.
Feel the sweet release of revenge as they wonder why their mouse isn't working.

Hahahahaha that is genius!

When we lost one of our younger ladies a few weeks back she set the mouse to be inverted and turned the desktop view sideways and it took them a week to figure out how to fix it.

As much of a pain as it can be I do find myself in tears quite often from laughter at some of their antics.

It's all a part of our nefarious evil plan to take over the world.

You just need to accept your sub-human chattel status in the grand scheme of things, my fine feathered friend. But don't worry though, you'll get used to it after a while.

Trust us.

Well my dear Gemini, it is a very sucky situation you are in, but based on some of your responses it really sounds to me like you kind of like it?
If its all a big game to you and let's face it you could probably run circles around these idiots ya workin with... Why are you even putting up with it? Unless you have something to gain...

reply to post by FriedBabelBroccoli

In all fairness I should indeed have lowered my expectations of my coworkers at my initial job.

“If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.”
― Sylvia Plath

Truthfully I have seen it both ways, where men are in power and the woman has to do her professional job as well as the clerical and coffee drill and where the guys always had to drop what they were doing to do the heavy lifting. In the firehouse where the woman was in the minority, the men didn't call her names or imply anything, they just made her do extra work to try to break her. But where women are in the majority they seem to be in your business and make up stuff like they are doing about you OP. Women often go more personal and feel a bit freer to make social and personal remarks to others and directly your face. I find this more invasive and really creepier than having to unload the firetruck and redo the hose bed for no reason.

I just think using one experience of one workplace regarding how women treat you to not be a valid reason to suggest all women are like this. By all means have your rant and i do agree it seems a pretty # place to work but dont imply that ALL women dont take responsibility for themselves yada yada yada.

Originally posted by FriedBabelBroccoli
To begin, welcome to my personal rant.

For the last three years I have worked in an environment where women outnumber men at least 5 to 1. Over these years I have found myself to be the go to scapegoat for anything and everything in the workplace whether I was present or not. The things I am blamed for have ranged from extremely trivial to outright illegal and possibly grounds for defamation of character. The one common factor is that I was the only male present at the time when the issue was being addressed.

Examples include; not answering an incoming phone call to the workplace on days which I was not even present at the workplace, improper inventory keeping of merchandise which arrived before I began working at current location, not signing off on paperwork in other departments, "planting" drugs on persons (female), and "stealing" merchandise by ringing up sales under the associate numbers of others (female) for the incorrect price.

Today presented a prime example of this behavior. I was in a computer lab when suddenly music begins playing from a computer in my general area. The woman, whose computer was obviously playing the music turns to me and tells me, does not ask but commands me, to turn my music off. I respond informing her that it can not possibly be from my computer because my volume is muted and the drafting software which I have running does not include any features which allow for music to begin playing.

This was not acceptable to her and so she proceeds to make her way over to my terminal and verify for herself that my computer was muted and no audio files were being accessed. Having proven my innocence I stand up and walk over and mute her computer at which point the music ceases to play.

This brings about the all too familiar female's response of not admitting or apologizing for accusing me, but rather making some snide comment calling me a jerk.

Ladies, what gives?

edit on 3-6-2013 by FriedBabelBroccoli because: 101

Well as a Radical Feminist here, I won't bother going over ninety percent of the misogynist kaka drivel replies or the "dumbed down bimbo" crap either...with the but "ooooh I'm a nice female please affirm me garbage"

Let's get real...OK, this isn't about Women, Men would do the same thing, This is about Group Think and POWER ABUSES period. That and you're sadly working with a load of BULLIES,

And Discrimination against YOU and

YOU should FILE a Suit, damn straight.

Hostile working environment that is sexual discrimination, bottom line and if race is a factor, I'd include that one too. There is NO EXCUSE for ANYONE to have to tolerate such abuses in the workplace, male OR female, BY males or females OR by mix genders. PERIOD.

Make sure you are documenting everything, and file IN WRITING a complaint form every time or response, to their accusations. As I don't know how the Hiearchies work where you are at, if you're in a senior level or what have you, but I know from where a friend of mine works, he's male, same type of situ but with him it's the politics of the workplace and how the seniority works,

Anytime you get power imbalances with no proper checks this is the type of thing that happens, gender it wouldn't matter, power corrupts. And yes sexual discrimination Does happen to men, pecking order type of thing,

But bottom line it's unprofessional as hell and shouldn't be tolerated, it's unproductive and why management is putting up with??? This is why documentation is needed,

I suggest keeping a daily log of all your tasks are/what you do, time stamp it, so when the accusations fly you can simply send a copy,

Hard to argue against written facts. Trying to Reason with these types of people and group think is total waste of time and if management isn't going to do their job in assuring a professional ADULT workplace, then you have to take other measures,

If Those still don't work

A trip to the labor board is in order.....and a lawyer.

And Remember, a Radical Feminist suggested such...because Feminism is about HUMAN RIGHTS

Period.

Also, the tit for tat won't work either, these women, People, whomever they are, have proven to not have ANY WORK ETHICS whatsoever, therefore, any attempt at checking balance yourself would just be met with more group think hostility, which plays into Their power ploys,

It's really a bad situ all the way around and no doubt yes IS sexual discrimination and Harassment, no way around that, and NO EXCUSE for it either.

What does your HR say? Did you ever befriend any of them? Is there a type of group leader among them? Reason I ask is usually with a pack animal Bully scenario there is usually a group leader that initiates the harassment and targets someone,

Look it's not just because you are Male, only either, Trust me IF there were all Females there would be a Targeted female, make no mistake about that one, what you have here is a gang type of bullying and it needs to be dealt with head on,

A d if I were you I'd go about it this way too in addressing it. IF you go about it as a gender thing, unless there is sexual harassment, and especially if HR is mostly female, psychology common sense says, they'll play the "oh well me. Been doing this for years" type of card, Know what I'm saying...but now if you go about it as a Group think Bullying thing, leave the gender out if it,

Then you stand a chance in them being reprimanded, or better, Fired, so...if you can document all past offenses, especially the illegal ones, dates and all, and then keep track with a log, you want proof...then FILE,

There is no excuse for this type if Behavior from ANYONE, and you shouldn't have to tolerate such to do a job. I place blame on management, for lack of proper office supervision, hostile work places suck, for anyone, and it appears, you have an office where BULLIES are allowed to terrorize,

Just because they are women, Doesn't give then License. As a Feminist, I would say, file, do all you can to remedy the situation, because it's your Human Right, to be Treated right and not as a dog, by anyone. Male Or female...

reply to post by FriedBabelBroccoli


Unfortunately, you are obviously not "hot."

Hot men, or boys, are gods on earth and women will let them get away with murder... or at least sexual harassment.

Sexism and sexual harassment goes both ways gender-wise... but hot people are never the perpetrators, unless they're paying too much attention to someone else.

Welcome to Earth.

My recommendation is to act gay... and if you are already, then act "gayer." I can't really explain the reasons for my suggestion in the constraints of this forum, but try it and see.

I'm only being 3/4 flip. There is wisdom here.

see my other reply above, on remedying the situation,

I wanted to add, next time any of them just barge into your cubicle like that, you need to assert yourself and tell them, be civil but Firm, always maintaining a professional and adult manner, to whomever, that your space is for Work and is to be respected, as you would do the same, vice versa. Her just walking over like that and demanding this, that is an encroachment into your work/personal space, showing a complete disrespect for BOUNDARIES,

And YOU have every Right to set reasonable Boundaries.

See I don't think this type of bad behavior is about gender as much as its about a narcissist spoiled bad behaving generation, and reading what you stated just peeves me to no end because these types of abuses are becoming so common place to where they are being Normalized,

And then to think some think we can self rule? Not when you have larger segments of society who refuse to respect boundaries or be courteous, etc.,

Maybe I was raised differently, not saying one has to be some Victorian pretense fake Puritan either, but there is a thing as common decency, you would think. Anyway, yea that's just bullying behavior, pack animal kind of thing, and unless it's nipped in the bud it will only get worse and it can even be dangerous. Reason I asked if you've befriended any of them is because if there is a pack leader, they'll glean weaknesses to exploit, bullies do this,

Manipulating Narcissists do this Very well, male or female, they come in all shapes, colors and sizes. So again, keep a daily work task log, it's a pain yes time consuming but it can protect you from the accusations, then respond in writing to any accusations,

Once they Kniw you aren't going to play their power games and that you mean business, they'll either try to ensnare you (so be ready for that) or they'll back off, hard to say without being there, etc., but I WOULD contact labor board/HR and a lawyer, have your ducks lines in a row so to speak...

And if there is ANY references to men in negative ways, jokes, jesting, etc that are hostile, write them down, record them if you have too, that IS sexual harassment, and you would have a Case,

Then file it. I believe you, females have put up with female bullying too so yes it happens, pecking order, whatever one wants to call it, but bullying is bullying and it is abuse,

And as far as I'm concerned, when it's deliberate, planned, targeted, it IS a human right abuse. That's how I see it, and I along with many other Women I Know, would support you 100percent.

As one Rad feminist once said, too often the oppressed morphs into the oppressor. She got slammed by other feminists for that, but she was right...it's about Treeating PEOPLE, with kindness and respect,

Regardless of GENDER.

reply to post by Baddogma


My friend, a straight guy, acts gay. He works as a sales rep for high end fashion designer. He says people won;t go to "normal" guys if they are not hot, if ur not hot, then be gay.

When a guy is "feminine" people drop defenses and approach you.

reply to post by FriedBabelBroccoli


This type of thread appears about three times per month. We all understand that certain males feel that women own them.

Grow a set
Act like a man
Then they respect

reply to post by ThreeBears


Actually the complaint in the OP was of an encounter with a complete stranger in a university computer lab.

My issue was not about people slacking off and not doing work as that occurs equally often among genders and really is not a problem unless it escalates. I do appreciate the advice though.

The whole point of the rant was about why I always get to be the scapegoat for even the most ridiculous things even when it is incredibly apparent I could not have had anything to do with original problem.