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Service to Self versus Service to Others - A lot more than just service! JOY versus LOVE, Which woul

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posted on May, 31 2013 @ 09:40 AM
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Service to Others:

- Encouragement
- Affection
- Loyalty
- Care


Service to Self:

- Courage
- Independence
- Joy (Being able to do what makes you happy - rather than worrying about others)
- Empowering SELF and others to help THEMSELVES (instead of you specifically helping

With Service to Self, we can all help OURSELVES, we can be FREE to do what we want. We can be OURSELVES, has JOY (from freedom of self expression). We can be HONEST with ourselves instead of denying or suppressing anything.

With Service to Others, we have to suppress to make others happy. We have to WORRY about all others rather than being HAPPY. We have to teach others to SERVICE instead of teaching others to be independent and do things for their self.

They BOTH have benefits and disadvantages so I am not saying one is "better" than the other.

Think about this though. If we were in a perfect paradise (where all needs are provided - no suffering), would there even be a NEED for Service to Others? Service to Others can only exist in a world of negativity where people do not have enough so must share, or where people are not strong to do things on their own so they must care. In a perfect paradise where there is no lack or suffering. EVERYONE can be Service to Self and be happy and those who we interact with would be those with similar interests.




posted on May, 31 2013 @ 10:00 AM
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i think the perfect mix is a 50%-50% service to self, and others.

that way we take care of ourselves and have some % left over to help others.
edit on 31-5-2013 by Belcastro because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 31 2013 @ 10:18 AM
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What if what I want to do for myself directly or indirectly causes loss of joy and love in others ?

Should I then worry about others or ignore it in order to reach my desired goals ?



posted on May, 31 2013 @ 10:23 AM
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reply to post by LordDerpingtonSmythe
 


The real question is: What "ARE" you doing?

Because no matter which action you take you will be going against other's plans and therefore not making them "happy".



posted on May, 31 2013 @ 10:26 AM
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Originally posted by arpgme
reply to post by LordDerpingtonSmythe
 


The real question is: What "ARE" you doing?

Because no matter which action you take you will be going against other's plans and therefore not making them "happy".


Is it possible for you give an example please ?



posted on May, 31 2013 @ 10:29 AM
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reply to post by LordDerpingtonSmythe
 


There are many examples. One is example is this:

You have two groups of friends who really need your help. Both groups need help at the same time and you can only help one group. No matter which you choose, the other will be unhappy that they couldn't get help to solve their problems.

Everybody does not want the same thing, and sometimes they do but there is not enough so in that case it would be one or the other - being forced to make only some people happy and others not.



posted on May, 31 2013 @ 10:33 AM
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You cannot give to others without first wanting to give to yourself.

Buddha exemplified this in his teachings about desire.

If a person does not have the desire to gain joy from helping others than there is no reason that person would do such things, therefore, it is imperative that a person wishes to please himself and fulfill his desire in order to give to others.

You cannot and will not help others if it means nothing to you. There is no separation between the two.



posted on May, 31 2013 @ 10:36 AM
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Originally posted by arpgme
reply to post by LordDerpingtonSmythe
 


There are many examples. One is example is this:

You have two groups of friends who really need your help. Both groups need help at the same time and you can only help one group. No matter which you choose, the other will be unhappy that they couldn't get help to solve their problems.

Everybody does not want the same thing, and sometimes they do but there is not enough so in that case it would be one or the other - being forced to make only some people happy and others not.


Would it not be wise to make one group happy though.
Not helping both could leave me with no friends.

Then if a time came when I may need their help, I have it.



posted on May, 31 2013 @ 10:36 AM
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reply to post by Hopechest
 


Some people say the only way to go to "heaven" (In simple terms - the "happy" afterlife) is by being Service to Others instead of serving self. The only thing is, we do not choose our desires - we can choose to ACT on them, but for someone with no desire/care for others they will not be living a happy life serving others, they would feel like a slave forced to do something which they have no desire to do. It is not fairness. The desire should be put in all if all want to be happy and the only way to achieve that is through Service of Others....



posted on May, 31 2013 @ 10:42 AM
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Originally posted by arpgme
reply to post by Hopechest
 


Some people say the only way to go to "heaven" (In simple terms - the "happy" afterlife) is by being Service to Others instead of serving self. The only thing is, we do not choose our desires - we can choose to ACT on them, but for someone with no desire/care for others they will not be living a happy life serving others, they would feel like a slave forced to do something which they have no desire to do. It is not fairness. The desire should be put in all if all want to be happy and the only way to achieve that is through Service of Others....


Buddha also addresses this by saying that a person can change their desires through enlightenment to reach that stage where you do desire to help others and in turn help yourself.

He believed the path is there for everyone to take although some may need to work harder at it. It comes back to desire again.

Do you desire for yourself to open that path to heaven or enlightenment or whatever you feel is out there? Do you desire to live a better life here on earth?

It all starts from the persons desire for some sort of improvement. I doubt there are many people that truly yearn for a more miserable life, even those that do are still reaching for something....a reason to suffer to make them feel better about something they've done.

Everything boils down to selfishness, want, and desire for the self. Without that you cannot progress to helping others.



posted on May, 31 2013 @ 10:56 AM
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reply to post by Hopechest
 


It is only when you realize that you are not lacking that you will truly give because you will not be looking to take something to become more.



posted on May, 31 2013 @ 10:58 AM
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reply to post by Hopechest
 


I have a simple preference from myself and all others, and that preference is that we are all happy. If I turn it into a desire then it will just be another longing/yearning.

The way it appears is that those who are Service to Others will keep being used by those who are Service to Self - and those who are Service to Self will just do whatever they want without caring about how they are manipulating/controlling others.

Justice seems to be the only thing that can give an equal platform for all to reach their happiness, but even that is short-lived as we can see with human history. Forgiveness seems to be the only Spiritual relief.



posted on May, 31 2013 @ 11:02 AM
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reply to post by arpgme
 


Service to Self ... Service to Others...I think both are needed. Help yourself; help others; people have helped you...pay it forward.



posted on May, 31 2013 @ 11:04 AM
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Originally posted by arpgme
reply to post by Hopechest
 


I have a simple preference from myself and all others, and that preference is that we are all happy. If I turn it into a desire then it will just be another longing/yearning.

The way it appears is that those who are Service to Others will keep being used by those who are Service to Self - and those who are Service to Self will just do whatever they want without caring about how they are manipulating/controlling others.

Justice seems to be the only thing that can give an equal platform for all to reach their happiness, but even that is short-lived as we can see with human history. Forgiveness seems to be the only Spiritual relief.


Ahhh, but that preference to be happy IS a desire.

You may change the terminology but that is essentially it. Without that desire you will not care and will not help others.

Justice is another ideology expressed by the great philosophers such as Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle and has its basis in logic, not emotion. Plato especially, wrote that knowing what you were meant to do and doing it would give a person happiness and therefore spread throughout the community. It has absolutely nothing to do with desire but of the natural order of things.

This is why some people were happy being barrel makers and others were happy being King. If everyone was in their correct place, the community, city, and world would become enlightened.

There are many different takes on this issue that range all over the place. Quite an interesting subject.



posted on May, 31 2013 @ 11:21 AM
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Originally posted by Hopechest
You cannot give to others without first wanting to give to yourself.

Buddha exemplified this in his teachings about desire.

If a person does not have the desire to gain joy from helping others than there is no reason that person would do such things, therefore, it is imperative that a person wishes to please himself and fulfill his desire in order to give to others.

You cannot and will not help others if it means nothing to you. There is no separation between the two.
When people realize all others are connected by the spirit, then they realize helping others is actually helping ones self. True STO/STS.



posted on May, 31 2013 @ 11:28 AM
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I put in my time helping others. I had to stop before I needed others to help me.



posted on May, 31 2013 @ 11:29 AM
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reply to post by LordDerpingtonSmythe
 


Then you are Serving Yourself because you are doing it since you think you will need future help from them. You are helping who you CHOOSE so you are doing what you want.

reply to post by Hopechest
 


When I speak about "desire" I'm talking about feeling lack and longing for something. I do not feel this when it comes to wanting others to be happy, so it is not a "desire", just a preference. If the opportunity is there then I will most likely help but it is not a "longing" to do so.

If I "long" for happiness, then, I will not only not have happiness (feeling LONGING) but I Will also miss out on the calmness/peace that is here in this moment.



posted on May, 31 2013 @ 11:33 AM
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You, as an individual, need to learn a few things in life.

First, you need to be able to take care of yourself. If you can't do that you remain a dependent for your whole life.

Next, you need to be able to help take care of family. You may have a spouse, kids or older parents but at some point in life you should be able to help your other family members who may not be able to fully take care of themselves.

Then, if you can do the two things above you can start helping other people.

I do think that the selfless helping of others is one of the higher states that you can achieve in this lifetime.



posted on May, 31 2013 @ 04:22 PM
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Originally posted by arpgme
reply to post by Hopechest
 


Some people say the only way to go to "heaven" (In simple terms - the "happy" afterlife) is by being Service to Others instead of serving self. The only thing is, we do not choose our desires - we can choose to ACT on them, but for someone with no desire/care for others they will not be living a happy life serving others, they would feel like a slave forced to do something which they have no desire to do. It is not fairness. The desire should be put in all if all want to be happy and the only way to achieve that is through Service of Others....


From my point of view mutual Symbiosis is the key and to not allow parasitism in any form. The single individual should both serve and be served when there is a need. But in human society there is a click of people who like service to self only and is very angry when they need to serve other people to bring balance. But it is better to be on the service to other side on this level since it shows maturity, selflessness and patience. This level is not supposed to be fair yet to the people who have matured to be able to be on the next level. Service to others is hard to achive. Service to self is easy to achive.



posted on May, 31 2013 @ 04:31 PM
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reply to post by LittleByLittle
 


That's true. Service to Self is easy because it is the best way for survival. Service to Others is more difficult because it puts others before self. I guess the only freedom in Service to Others is that You won't be able to serve yourself but at least you'll always be able to choose whomever you wish to serve.

Between Giving (Service to Others) and Taking (Service to Self) - Sharing seems to be the perfect balance, I guess.




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