There is no excuse for silence.

In a world where texting and online dating and Facebook are taking over social communication, do you really know the person you are sitting next to or living with? Do you have any close friends, or any commitment in your relationships?

When you are on an online dating site, and texting someone nonstop, never willing to meet, or talking to everyone at once, and you meet up with your date while texting other guys or girls or whatever it is, how are you going to get what you are searching for if it is right in front of you but you are too distracted wanting things that aren't?

If you are on Facebook searching out friends, or texting people, but meanwhile there is someone right next to you to interact with in person - how are you ever going to accomplish this if it is right in front of you but you keep on getting distracted by things that aren't?

So we come back to communication. In order to build a real friendship or relationship, it involves knowing how to socialize in person, it involves spending time with the other person, it involves focusing on them and them alone.

Only by doing this, can you get to know someone, and only by getting to know someone, can you move on to more.

In a world where each of us is involved in our own little universes, we can be sitting next to someone and never know anything about them.

But how can you NOT know about the people you are living with or sitting next to? This is ridiculous! If there is a problem, and your friend or significant other and you are not talking, this is ridiculous! If you don't know what is going on with your friend or significant other, or you haven't talked to them about what is going on with you, this is ridiculous!

Only by bringing out these issues and getting to know each other, can the two of you trust each other and move on to better things!

There is no excuse for silence.

P.S. If you are fine with your situation, you are fine with it, and that is okay! This is just advice for people who might feel something is lacking. Also, focus can be used when hanging out online or whatever as well!

reply to post by darkbake
I used to think that this was just a problem with the younger generations, but more and more I've been noticing this sort of behavior with older generations as well. It seems like the more people have handheld electronic devices the less people are talking to each other. They have 1001 Facebook friends but no real friends that they interact with, and even when meeting with actual people they are more interested in texting or messaging than talking to the person right next to them.

We have rules at our house that unless there is a business call or message the phones are to be out of sight and even if you're not at our house don't text or message unless there is no other way- pick up a phone and call, or better yet come knock on the door! Instead of video games we still play cards, dominoes and board games with friends, neighbors and even the grown kids when they visit and we still have family movie night. The kids hated it when they were teens and wanted nothing more than to be glued to their handheld devices, but since they've gotten older they appreciate the personal interaction and even though they still text and message a lot they also go to actually visit their friends in person and go out and do things instead of being chained to their electronics.

Welcome to the real world. People are always trying to impress others that they don't even know and ignoring the ones next to them. A farmer supplies food for many people they do not even know, they get little recognition for their hard work. People go for vacations away from the ones they know and give their hard earned cash to people that they will never see again instead of supporting their community.

There is so much wrong with this society that I consider it a sort of insanity. I suppose since I have joined it I am technically insane My studies of health are defined to a certain group of people, people around me. Sometimes my studies overlap with other groups and that is why I post my knowledge on it here.

I won't ever do dating sites. Ever. I join classes ,take up a hobby ,go to the library . There is never a substitute for really meeting face to face.
I know many people who met someone on line,but its just not for me .
To only have friends,on line,is a form of escapism . Some people need this I guess ,but I grew up in a different way.
And its true ,its now affecting older generations ,bit they have allowed themselves to be sucked into it .

That being said,I have discovered ,in my life,aaalllll of that aside ,you can know someone 20 years ,and still not know them . You can live with them 20 years,and still ,not know what they are capable of ,so ...all of that ,is inconsequential in the end .

reply to post by littled16


It seems that my generation and the generation right below me are the worst at this. The young seem to be more about sharing what they know without profiting so much from it now. Maybe the internet is a good thing after all. I have been able to learn more than I could ever have learned from college in the field of my interest. There is a lot of crap to sort through but that crap sure does contain a lot more truth than what is taught in school. I like to learn from people who have experienced things in person, not from the interpretations of a writer.

reply to post by rickymouse
I view the internet as a wonderful and terrible thing all wrapped up in one. It has been a life saver for me the past few years as I've been staying home to take care of my grandkid- which can turn your brains to jello if you let it. But as soon as someone walks through the door the laptop is put away in favor of human interaction which should always be put first. Even while in the middle of posting on ATS sometimes I only get partway finished and have to continue later as a game of tea party or time on the swing set takes precedence.

The internet is the greatest learning tool ever invented, but in recent years it has also become the greatest distraction from real human interaction we have today- both a blessing and a curse.

I made this thread some time ago. It kind of fits what you are talking about.

The Oracle of "I"

As you can read it did not sit well with some.

We have these devices telling us how great we are. How many friends we have.

In a conversation there are rules. That person next to you might not tell you how great you are.

I'm not trying to complain about Social Media on Social Media. I'm just saying "Enough".