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Originally posted by Timely
That would be so hard to deal with ... all around !
Guy Pearce was in a good movie related to this. " Memento ".
check it out.
All I can assume is that the OP fears being this way - he/she is tortured by the idea of ending up this way.
Whether it's a case of existential torture isn't clear to me as it invites several interpretations. For instance, he lives in a state of joyous love for his wife and that love is returned - heaven. Divested of memories, he's not prone to the reflections and melancholia of life's regrets or remorse - bliss.