posted on May, 30 2013 @ 04:47 PM
First i want to say bare with me, it's not going to be a factual post. Rather my experience. Lets go.
Ok, so i have suffered with anxiety for much of my life. It began in 2004, when i was 12, my Father suddenly passed away. Since then i have had
anxiety on and off. Let's fast forward to early 2010 and i have a health scare. Thankfully, nothing to worry about. But it sent my anxiety through
the roof. Subsequently, i had pretty annoying panic attacks and, you guessed it, derealization.
Now for those who don't know what derealization is (as i didn't when i first got it) It's a feeling of "not being real". The title reads
"Depersonalization/Derealization" (DP/DR) because the difference between the 2 is small and often over lap. The difference is, DP is the perception
of yourself feeling unreal. DR is the perception of the world around you feeling unreal/unfamiliar. The brain creates these feelings/disorders as a
way of experiencing less stress. It's almost like a coping mechanism. Not a lot is known...
Now here's why i am posting. It's not for sympathy, it's not for medical advice. I'm pretty much clear of my symptoms on a day-to-day basis now
(apart from when im stressed) however,i do want to talk about what it's made me feel about humans and our brains.
Unless you've had it, you may be unable to relate. But the perception of reality is something we think nothing of on a day to day basis. It's
something that is natural to us. Why would the average person stop to check if "life feels real"? It made me wonder about how we perceive life and
what our brains can really do. It's strange to think that our brain is in control of every aspect of our life, and that includes everything we
experience outside our own bodies.
It's the whole idea of "how do i know the colour you see, is the colour i am seeing" Life is perception. It's completely subjective. And from
having DR, it has really made me realize how this is the case. I looked around me and i KNEW everything was normal but for some reason, it seemed
unfamiliar. Is our brain in control of what we see? Is what we see CREATED by our brain and is therefore subject to change within ourselves?
I hope this hasn't been too much of ramble. And i hope you perhaps understand where i was going with this. I just wanted to hear what your thoughts
were or even if you've experienced it.
I also hope it's in the right forum!