The Mind - Depersonalization/Derealization

Hello,

First i want to say bare with me, it's not going to be a factual post. Rather my experience. Lets go.

Ok, so i have suffered with anxiety for much of my life. It began in 2004, when i was 12, my Father suddenly passed away. Since then i have had anxiety on and off. Let's fast forward to early 2010 and i have a health scare. Thankfully, nothing to worry about. But it sent my anxiety through the roof. Subsequently, i had pretty annoying panic attacks and, you guessed it, derealization.

Now for those who don't know what derealization is (as i didn't when i first got it) It's a feeling of "not being real". The title reads "Depersonalization/Derealization" (DP/DR) because the difference between the 2 is small and often over lap. The difference is, DP is the perception of yourself feeling unreal. DR is the perception of the world around you feeling unreal/unfamiliar. The brain creates these feelings/disorders as a way of experiencing less stress. It's almost like a coping mechanism. Not a lot is known...

Now here's why i am posting. It's not for sympathy, it's not for medical advice. I'm pretty much clear of my symptoms on a day-to-day basis now (apart from when im stressed) however,i do want to talk about what it's made me feel about humans and our brains.

Unless you've had it, you may be unable to relate. But the perception of reality is something we think nothing of on a day to day basis. It's something that is natural to us. Why would the average person stop to check if "life feels real"? It made me wonder about how we perceive life and what our brains can really do. It's strange to think that our brain is in control of every aspect of our life, and that includes everything we experience outside our own bodies.

It's the whole idea of "how do i know the colour you see, is the colour i am seeing" Life is perception. It's completely subjective. And from having DR, it has really made me realize how this is the case. I looked around me and i KNEW everything was normal but for some reason, it seemed unfamiliar. Is our brain in control of what we see? Is what we see CREATED by our brain and is therefore subject to change within ourselves?

I hope this hasn't been too much of ramble. And i hope you perhaps understand where i was going with this. I just wanted to hear what your thoughts were or even if you've experienced it.

I also hope it's in the right forum!

reply to post by MrConspiracy


Good post MrC

I experienced DP/DR for many years, but never actually considered it from this perspective.

For months at a time I'd feel like I was living in a goldfish bowl - seeing, hearing, interacting and yet somehow apart. Like there was a hidden veil between me & reality. At one point I started wondering whether I was the unknowing cast member in my own Truman experience.

At the time, due to anxiety & severe depression, everything had lost it's "colour" and my emotions were muted.

In hindsight, I believe my personal experience could have actually been due to the lack of emotional interaction with everything I encountered. Therefore, could it be that our unseen emotional interaction/connection with what we see, touch, smell, feel etc is actually a fundamental factor of how we experience it.

You definitely pose an interesting question!

reply to post by lizziejayne


Thanks for the reply. And it's interesting to see other peoples point of view, and perhaps this isn't as rare as it seems.

Anxiety etc is certainly a lot more complex than a lot of people might think.

I wish you all the best.

reply to post by MrConspiracy


You too MrConspiracy

It's definitely an intriguing topic, so I hope your post generates a lot of discussion

That's really a big post.My friend was also suffering from anxiety and she was then advised to spend time with family and keep her mind busy in things and ignore any other thoughts that came in her mind.
Designjet 1050c PLUS

Hi MrConspiracy,
Yes....I can relate to what you're describing.
One thing I have realized is that our minds are capable of doing whatever is necessary for survival. We can adapt to just about anything....extreme stress, chronic pain, even abuse. (Consider people with multiple personalities, who have endured horrific trauma at an early age...and yet still manage to endure).
People learn to adapt to life in prisons....life with illnesses/injuries....life in abject poverty....ALL seriously stressful and unhappy life situations.
Unless you have experienced such, you are unaware of the coping mechanisms that the mind is equipped with.
I really hope this thread will attract others who can relate and are willing to discuss.
Reality can be pretty unreal.
jacygirl

I'm actually experiencing something very similar to this here lately. Horrible anxiety/panic attacks and then to get away from it all it's almost as if I'm numb to the world. I'm walking talking interacting almost on an instinctual level but not personal if that makes any sense. It's really a PITA knowing everything is normal and okay but yet for some reason your brain begs to differ.

reply to post by MrConspiracy


I would agree that, yes, everything in our reality is perceived in n through our brains. But at tha same time, that can lead some (along with other things that can happen to make us see things in a different way) to see things purely from tha mind without usin any of our other tools to gain understanding, which is a huge downfall n traps a person in a limited perspective of how they see tha world. This can lead many to begin thinking that their reality is purely subject to their mind, n thats it. . .but nothing could be farther from tha truth. If u look at life through only ur mind, u are unintentionally limiting how u perceive reality. Life is meant to be seen through many perspectives n understood through tha use of different tools, not jus tha mind. N im not jus speaking from an intellectual perspectiv (but even that can get messy becuz if u really think about it, all perspectives are seen/formed in tha mind, but they are based in deeper things) which can lead to tha idea that everything isnt jus another way to look at things, but are based in deeper truths. =)

But jus to giv u a bit of backstory, I had an experience about 2 years ago that resulted in my entire belief system to come crashing down. Another result of this experience was this intense feeling of 'disconnectedness', longstanding anxiety that would spike sporadically, along with tha worst depression ive ever experienced. For instance, everything in my daily life seemed meaningless n foreign. I went to take my dog out one nite n happened to look at a tree, which reminded me how I use to feel so close to nature n connected. But this time was different, as I observed tha tree, I remember it feeling so foreign, so alien. Then I took a look up at tha stars in hopes to feel that connectedness i use to feel, but to no avail. I only felt even more out of place, like I didnt belong there (now that I think back, Im sure it was becuz I was experiencing life on tha outside while bein spiritually dead on tha inside, thats what makes tha most sense to me). Needless to say, that experience has taught me a lot n I am a lot stronger of a person now becuz of it. =) So I feel I hav, not only a good understanding of the mind, but also insight into its very mechanics/how it operates.

Much love n peace,
Chris =)

Thanks for the reply's people. I hope you're all doing well! If anyone is suffering with something like this, please feel free to talk to me..