Taking Care of Our Own - Advice Needed on Helping my Grammy

I don't know if this would be practical for you, but have you considered buying a small duplex? She could have one side, and perhaps a family member could rent the other half? You could always control the tenants who would live next door, find a good family who would be willing to do the yard work and maintenance for a break in rent.

My family does this with my grandmother who is 83. It lets her keep her independence but at the same time my aunt is living next door in case she needs anything.

And may I personally commend you for your loyalty and your commitment to her...that's wonderful beyond words.

S&F for more attention

check the senior center in your area, they have info on all the senior stuff and might be able to help you or refer you to someone who can.. best of luck to you and your family.

reply to post by otherpotato

I can relate having cared for my mother at 80 with macular degeneration and cancer living in a ghetto area of Detroit with crackheads, burned out house and hookers all over. Thanks God she WAS legally blind. It was a nightmare for me. (And her dog was blind and deaf too....and she'd be letting him out at night while the lowlifes were all around)

In the end, I hand carried her to the ER with Sepsis, and I had a stroke while putting her in a nursing home where she passed 2 weeks after my stroke.

There is so much I could say and tell you, but since I DID have a stroke over this... I will answer any questions you have if youll U2U me....its just better that way for me. Good luck to you MS

PS Your biggest...BIGGEST issue will be trying to get her to leave her own, normal enviroment (home)....and for most...they'd rather die there than leave what they know as their home no matter how worried you are for them...they wont see it that way. In many ways, its YOU that will have to change your thinking about removing someone from what theyve known for years and years.

reply to post by Gazrok


My mother's name has actually been on my grammy's account for a few years - but given that both of their names are on it I'm not sure how that factors into "their" calculations. From what I've read you need zero assets to qualify for anything. My grandmother won't give up total control of her money source and can't say I blame her for feeling that way. It's all she has.

We purchased her house that she is living in ten years ago and have been paying the taxes on it ever since.

reply to post by smyleegrl


My original plan was to convert my garage into a small apartment for her. But my mother ix-nayed that idea for various reasons (won't get into detail - but my mother will have to be her primary caregiver - and did I mention my mother lives with me too?). What I want to do is give her a degree of independence while maintaining some distance between her and my mom, while also not shelling out tons of cash to someone else by renting. I'm not looking for the government tit but at the same time I want her to be closer in case something happens. She is so far away.... And I am not rich.

I would have to refinance my house to try to buy another property. Which I am willing, and could possibly, do. But it won't be easy and her annuity would have to contribute to that.

Thank you for your supportive words. If I am honest I would rather she died in her own home than be put through unnecessary stress by trying to move her down here. God will provide in that regard. She has been living alone in the mountains for 20 years. How can I replace that?

Bless You for taking care of the Elders among us.It beats me that folks don't "GET' how interesting it is to spend time with older people.Who you wanna hang with:
Someone who fought/came out alive of a war-or someone who digs playing Call of Duty?