I have been a member here for quite a few years, and have shared and learned information the way that ATS is intended, made a few friends and chatted
with people that I have come to care for, the way that someone could care for someone else in the internet world.
While doing that I have seen some members grow, and some stay exactly the same, discuss the same issues, stay in the same forums, and either help
others to understand or argue and attempt to make their voices heard. With that said, this is for those members, now this doesnt mean that if you
registered today that you are exempt, but I wanted to add that this is also for those that have been here for a while.
Now before I start, I would like to add that this is in the "Gray Area" and for those that may not be aware of what this entails, or are unfamiliar
with how this forum works, and arent sure how to respond to this thread, as this is not as the others, then please click here.
I took all of last week off the internet, not just ATS but the internet entirely, as I was worn out, confused, and a bit frustrated with things that
are happening in this world, for those that are familiar with my threads, or posts, then you probably know that I write from the heart, even though I
have less posts then most that have been here as long, I chose wisely on where I post, and when.
I decided to write in the Gray Area as this is something that is more personal than I am usually, and I felt the need to share with you all. Take it
or leave it is fine with me.
For many years I have felt that I was different, sometimes not caring what I may be here for, not knowing what to ask, or where to turn to for the
truth, and honestly I still feel that way in a sense. On my week off I read, no television, no music, just reading, to see if maybe I was actually
missing something, and bombarded myself with the "entertainment" aspect of research, such as scrolling for that sensational thread, or something
that caught my eye.
I have realized that I was moving backwards in research all together. Videos, and "if there are no pics it didnt happen" mentality, that I swore I
would never do, was happening to me. Even over-looking writing a thread whether it was important to me or not, thinking that ATS wouldnt care about
that, so whats the use.
What I normally didnt share here was that I was a researcher of people. All people. I wasnt writing because I was reading as if I was in a room full
of people and listening to them have conversations about what they thought life was about, what was important to them, but not so much on how they
were going to change it.
My years of research was mainly on subliminal messages, MKUltra, semantics, symbology, psychology, frequencies, etc,. How people thought, why, and
what made us who we are, not in the outside world, but here, on ATS, the place that is knowingly one of the best "conspiracy" ( I hate that term)
sites on the internet, and with that one of the most watched.
Now before you start to think that I mean the CIA or something I also mean MSM, other websites, lurkers, people that are scared, and looked up a topic
and found this site, students, teachers, of school and the schools or the esoteric, and even secret societies. I then opened my eyes a bit wider,
while worried if the "average" member would be concerned with what I had to say, I realized that this is much larger than I thought, and I we ALL
had and are participating in a much larger view of things.
Ive thought about some of the other valued members that have since either left or were banned, and what their thoughts or maybe even comfortablity may
have come from, when we keep our minds closed off, and dont enter into change, when we see the bigger picture and refuse to change ourselves. Not our
message but how we relay it, If even 3 or the people/groups that I mentioned are in fact here on ATS, then we have to also be aware that there will be
provocations, as our stories arent meant to be exact, or factual but heartfelt enough to change another.
That in fact is the scariest thought. What if WE actually made a difference? What if we start to change collectively, not our opinions or even our
message, just to work as a whole.
I know better than to write, oh the government has no real value, or the president is a puppet, or our money is a number and not of value, because you
know what that doesnt
matter, how we discuss it, the messages we relay, and how we feel about it, when we log off is what matters!
All of our messages are equally important and the researchers before us, were telling us the same thing. We know that there have been whistleblowers
since the beginning of time, and the ones who knew how
to say it, are the ones that are still relevant today.
I know this is a long shot, but there is something that we have all lost sight of, and IMHO its that we are taught that we need to look
forward and never look back. This is the most untruthful, blasphemous, and divisive piece of information that has been ingrained in us for far to
The week that I took off, was in fact spent on looking back, reading books that were written 50-100 years ago, and you know what I realized?? That we
are in a spiral of discontent, not because we arent looking for change, or answers, but because we will not look back.
The true purpose of looking back is so that we DONT make the same mistakes twice, or three or four times. We have failed to see what we are supposed
to see, because we have lost sight of what in any other time we were meant to look forward too, and that is that we should all be looking back in
order to make looking forward easier, and less controlled, with less collateral damage, and more growth.
If you made it this far, than I would like to thank you for taking that time to read this, and lok forward to your replies, also I am going to leave a
few sites where you can find some of the books that I have read, and maybe find one that fits you.
Online Esoteric Library
I will add more in a little while.