I will brazenly speculatively assert that:
1. It will likely be eventually uncovered, disclosed--or at least evidence will be published sufficiently to conclude that--he had and has a very
significant, serious degree of ATTACHMENT DISORDER.
2. The cold look in his eyes bespeaks of a ton of seething hostililty, resentment and resolute vengeance.
= = = =
3. The best book I know on that is:
ATTACHMENTS: WHY WE LOVE, FEEL AND ACT THE WAY WE DO
4. ATTACHMENT DISORDER CAN BE CAUSE BY EITHER OR BOTH PARENTS. However, imho, the overwhelming majority of it is caused by poor FATHERING due to:
A) absent fathers &/or
B) emotionally absent, disconnected fathers &/or
C) emotionally abusive fathers &/or
D) physically (beatings) abusive fathers &/or
E) sexually abusive fathers &/or
F) alcoholic fathers &/or
G) workaholic fathers &/or
H) harsh, cold, distant, not-tuned-in fathers &/or
I) passive, uninterested, not understanding fathers . . .
5. 95% of the prisoners in our prisons have serious degrees of attachment disorder.
6. Sometimes I hear "Oh, he went to the kid's ball games. He took him fishing with him . . . he did everything right. Yes, DOING THOSE THINGS TENDS
TO BE MUCH BETTER THAN NOT DOING THEM. HOWEVER, in and of themselves, they are no guarantee for preventing ATTACHMENT DISORDER. [color=6699FF]It's
important for the father to CONNECT EMOTIONALLY, with healthy affection and emotional bonding at a significantly deep level--full of understanding,
compassion, empathy etc. with the child--particularly sons--the first 6-8 years of life
. Even going through good motions of showing up at
sports activities cannot insure that quality of bonding.
7. Many fathers go through such motions without successful bonding because no one showed them how. They have their own serious attachment disorder
from their own poor fathering by their fathers.
8. Some fathers go through such sports attending motions as a kind of 'filling the socially acceptable role' and to try and insure that the son
performs at a level PROVING TO OTHERS that the father is a great guy--without any significant bonding with or respect for the son as a specific person
with his own unique needs etc. That can contribute to attachment disorder vs prevent it.
= = = = =
9. I recall saying such things right after Columbine and I was trashed a lot for it. Eventually, it became very clear that the parents were quite busy
with their professional and social lives and that neither one had bonded in quality ways with the son. Certainly the father had not. Ditto all the
other similar mass murder by youth cases.
10. As Dr Murray Banks declares [search on youtube--WHAT TO DO UNTIL THE PSYCHIATRIST COMES], THER IS NO HUMAN BEHAVIOR WITHOUT A REASON. And with all
such dramatic traumatic stuff . . . a huge part of the underlying reason HAS to involve ATTACHMENT DISORDER. I've never seen it otherwise in 35+ years
of teaching and counseling.
11. I bother writing this brazen set of assertions again [color=6699FF]in THE HOPE THAT someone will wake up as a parent and stop and think--and do
all they can to prevent such with their child/children
. There are some good articles on the net. Maybe I'll get around to posting some
links later. The above book is a great resource with some ways to overcome the effects of ATTACHMENT DISORDER.
12. Recent MRI brain studies have documented that [color=6699FF]there is PHYSIOLOGICAL BRAIN DAMAGE from ATTACHMENT DISORDER--particularly in the
areas having to do with emotional expression and in managing RELATIONSHIPS
. It can take a lifetime to MOSTLY overcome such damage.
13. PLEASE, FOLKS, as you read and discuss this case with those close to you--discuss such causes as serious degrees of ATTACHMENT DISORDER. And
increase your resolve to help eradicate it from parenting. Then this case will not have been exposed in vain.
edit on 26/5/2013 by BO XIAN because: fix tags