A couple of things. First, my gratitude for your help. The true and best answer must be somewhere in this thread, I'll try them out in my head and
soul until I find the one that seems to "fit into place."
Second, none of this has been fake or false in any way. It's obvious that I haven't told you everything, but everything that I have told you is
true and sincere, including my confusion on which way to turn.
Third, to the poster who asked (I think it was daaskapital); yes, the organization is capable of working in other countries. And no, googling for
Circle A and B is useless. I just made those names up. Further, I've never heard of the Knights of the Golden Circle.
Fourth (thanks to littled16), I suppose I have to believe that it is possible to "gracefully decline" and leave if I feel it necessary. It's hard
to accept that I or my family might suffer any serious physical attack. People don't do that sort of thing anymore.
GLADTOBEHERE: If I'm not being recruited, then great, problem's over.
DERFREEBIE: That was a particularly useful post, and I think you understand my problem. If seen, never unseen. If it turns out there is something
to be seen, and that something is evil or wrong, then I have to leave the club and Circle A immediately, as a matter of conscience, and will have to
deal with the realization that I've spent a good long time devoting myself to something that turned out to be foul.
ABEVERAGE: No, I'm not trying to recruit anybody. I don't know what I would be recruiting them for, or even if I've read the signs right and there
is something to recruit them into.
LITTLED16: Thanks for your kindness. The mission statement for Circle B is mere vapor to me. I know what I suspect it is, in general, but I don't
know enough to know if it's good or bad. As for your "gracefully decline," I've added something to deal with it at the top of this post.
WHATZSHAKEN: Your advice to continue up to the point of moral compromise is a good one. I'd like to think, but I'm certainly not positive, that
I'm a good enough man to resist the temptation of one more "hidden mystery." You know, "We can show you how to get into the secret survival
bunker with your family, but you'll have to carry out this one, little, technically immoral act for us." A lot of otherwise good people have given
their souls to get "on the inside."
TLEXLAPOCA: I've met a lot of tests in my time, military, federal, memorization, post-graduate work, etc. I'm not worried about passing the tests,
or needing someone to walk me through. I'm more worried, metaphorically, about what it will say on my diploma if I do pass.
But Lets face it, isnt this something you always wanted to be part of?
may be the encouragement I need, or it may be
the Tempter's words.
Anyway, thank you all for your help. If you've got any other advice, or questions which I can answer, let me know. You've been very good to me.