posted on May, 20 2013 @ 10:11 PM
This may be a long post, but it's imperative that you read it in it's entirety if you wish to help. I am leaving out some details to maintain a
thin veil of security.
About me: Originally Norwegian (born) I moved to the U.S. with my mother when I was around four years old. I've been raised in the U.S. until I
decided to return to Norway for college. However, things took a rough turn. I'm used to struggling in life. I'm used to having to have to fight
for everything I have. When I was little, my step father was abusive towards my mother. I could hear her being beat up in the room next to mine. It
was a struggle being a child. Especially when the police would come and to see my family split up. Not knowing what's going to happen next. Or if
this is going to happen again. And I think a lot of my childhood experiences may be partly the cause for my problems in adulthood.
As I said, I moved back to Norway to go to college. I was eighteen. I got into a school for architecture but found a girl, a person I thought was
the love of my life. I had to ditch school in favor of finding a job to support us. Shortly after, we had a child. All this was very difficult for
me as I was in what I call an "extended culture shock". I'd also like to mention she was five years older then myself and was previously married.
(Not that I believe that had anything to do with what happened.)
Throughout our relationship, I was being abused. It's hard for me to say, as I wouldn't allow the situation to ever occur again. It was daily,
I'd be yelled at, mentally tortured and physically hit and kicked. Yet, I stuck with her.
The final straw was when I found out she was cheating. And the kicker is, SHE asked for a divorce, something I gave her. About six months to a year
later, she told me she wanted to get back and that she wanted a chance. That she had made the biggest mistake of her life. I said NO, and I believe
I did the right thing. As she said, "You can't even give me ONE chance after all the chances I gave you?!". (The chances she's talking about
were the times she got upset over something trivial like dishes and physically attacked me.)
I couldn't go anywhere alone, she expected me to do everything so she could hang out with her friends. Everything was somehow my fault (like the
roof in the house we rented which was bad...). I wasn't allowed to contact my family, and if she noticed I got sad from that, she'd say, "Oh do
you miss your brothers d***?" Or, "Do you miss your mothers p****?".
So that's what I've experienced so far, plus a ton of other things I'll leave out for now. I'm going through a deep bout of depression. I've
gone up in weight, no energy and my angst is at an all time high. I'm taking "Escitalopram" for my angst, but it isn't doing to hot of a job.
So I'm asking you all, what can I do to better my situation mental wise? What can I do about my lethargy? I'm desperate for some guidance from
someone who knows what I'm going through.
Thanks for reading and I'm looking forward to replies.