Women don't like quiet males. (They prefer alpha males who are all bullies)

OP, you can change all of what you say you're lacking. Women want strong men? Do some pushups/pull ups. Gain strength. Look a woman in the eye, dont turn away when they make eye contact. Smile more. Like others have said, they can pick up on your anger, as to why they seem to never make "contact" with you. I used to be 327lbs, the most unconfident person in the world. Women never talked to me. Why? It wasnt cause I didnt appear to be the "alpha" male, but my anger displayed on my face. Your anger is what's keeping you from being you. Ive since trimmed up, and a big strong man as you put it now, but I smile 100% more, and that's whats made the difference. Im not a ladies man who hooks up whenever he wants, but I am a man they feel comfortable talking to. Just try it out for one week, smile at everyone you meet, say hello, how are you? or wow, you are a gorgeous woman. Compliment the ones you like. I can promise you'll see how women arent into the arses of the world.

reply to post by SearchLightsInc


I don't have any standards when it comes to females as I've never been in a relationship or even ever had a friend who was female as I've already said.

But ALL women from the good looking shallow ones to the ordinary plain and quiet and shy ones are ALL without exception primarily attracted to confident socially accepted (preferably alpha) males! So a quiet, passive, timid and thoughtful male like myself who lacks confidence and has no social skills will always be rejected and ignored by ALL women. So women are to blame for my situation in some sense because women ignore and reject the quiet socially awkward male when they should approach us but instead of this they wait for the confident males to start vying for their attention.

Also on your other points it has been shown in scientific studies that women are biological attracted to males with higher levels of testosterone and if your disputing that women are attracted to alpha males and that relationships between men and women are based on self preservation, procreation and natural selection your practically disputing Darwinism and thousands of years of physical and sociological evolution

Originally posted by smyleegrl
Confidence is appealing, that is true. However, IMO, overconfidence and arrogance is singularly unattractive.

My husband is the quiet, gentle type. He's not an alpha male by any means, preferring to get along with everyone.

However, I have seen him go "postal" one time, when someone threatened our son. It was not pretty. At the same time, it was gratifying to know that my husband is quite capable of defending us should the need arise.

Personally, I was attracted to the bad boys, but knew enough to realize there's a reason they were called bad boys. As I got older, my attraction to the bad boy stereotype diminished.

As we mature, we realize just how absurd some of our early conceptions really were.

I guess the worst part of the women maturing and going through the dramas with the bad boys is, most of you are beyond repair and jaded to the point of not even knowing that you are, and therefore are going to be nothing but trouble.

The damage I see in most of these wonderful women skews them even farther than when they were young and ultimately leads all the rest of the relationships they have to disaster, because they are always craving the bad boy responses at times.

Great girls still yes, but most are not capable of being what the more calm male wants at this point, and certainly the guy will find this out soon enough, and be astonished yet again at the damage these women never seem to be able to acknowledge, much less deal with.

Originally posted by fadedface
...Women ignore, reject and even ridicule quiet, uncompetitive and passive males like me who lack confidence..
...women are still predominately breeding with aggressive and competitive alpha males and instilling the violent and competitive genes in the next generation...
...women are affronted by the uncompetitive and passive nature of non alpha males such as 'omega males' like myself
...they manipulate alpha males into bullying us and alienate and deny us social acceptance...
...Females marginalise passive and uncompetitive males...
...Women in terms of attraction to males don't seem to have mentally evolved...
...

You should write a book & build a course on “You Too Can Be An Alpha Male – Just Like Me!”…
That might be a way of using your “omega” status…to change the world…in the direction you want it to go.

(PS: No need in pointing fingers at Women in general… Nor, in lumping “alpha males” into a neatly defined box… That will not change your ultimate conclusion ----about “love”.)

Originally posted by Cuervo

No woman that I currently know will do more than laugh at those type of guys. They are more into the right kind of guys. You know, the Jonny Depps, the artists, the deep, the smart, the caring, the talented, and just crazy enough to utterly destroy those who hurt you.

Aaaaah - Johnny Depp. There's an example of a quiet, shy, socially awkward guy who the women absolutely love. Of course it doesn't hurt that he's gorgeous, but still - he's definitely not the loud aggressive type.

Originally posted by Banananananana
reply to post by fadedface

 

You have a weak frame. I can assure you that if you're out in a scene and exhibit this lack of value, whether primary or secondary, you will not be successful; women will smell this on you a mile away. You also assume that women want a continually loud, brash, and overzealous male. This is not true; they want versatility. You need to be able to gauge when to be sensitive, funny, aloof, assertive, and passive. Your problem seems to be not understanding this dynamic. Women will test you, always, consciously or subconsciously, and you will only pass by understanding the dynamic of attraction and where you are within it. If you continue to be funny when she wants to build rapport you will lose her, if you show disinterest in her as a woman when she's opening up you will lose her, if you attempt to build rapport before you have shown value you will lose her.
Being dominant is not simply a characteristic of loudness, that in itself can be compensation, and childish. Being alpha is about strength, of character, desire, and goals. If there is any part of you that is not consistent in this regard, women will see you as beta.

edit on 5/19/2013 by Banananananana because: (no reason given)

edit on 5/19/2013 by Banananananana because: (no reason given)

I'm glad I've been denied the chance to partake and opted out of this ridiculous farce especially the way you describe it. Once you get beneath the masquerade and pretence females choose males purely by evolutionarily benchmarks based on natural selection especially in order to procreate. Its unfair the way women only choose socially accepted confident males and belies a savage and cruel survival of the fittest impulse on the part of females particularly but also humanity as a whole when propagating the species.

Originally posted by fadedface
reply to post by SearchLightsInc

 

I don't have any standards when it comes to females as I've never been in a relationship or even ever had a friend who was female as I've already said.

But ALL women from the good looking shallow ones to the ordinary plain and quiet and shy ones are ALL without exception primarily attracted to confident socially accepted (preferably alpha) males! So a quiet, passive, timid and thoughtful male like myself who lacks confidence and has no social skills will always be rejected and ignored by ALL women. So women are to blame for my situation in some sense because women ignore and reject the quiet socially awkward male when they should approach us but instead of this they wait for the confident males to start vying for their attention.

Also on your other points it has been shown in scientific studies that women are biological attracted to males with higher levels of testosterone and if your disputing that women are attracted to alpha males and that relationships between men and women are based on self preservation, procreation and natural selection your practically disputing Darwinism and thousands of years of physical and sociological evolution

edit on 19-5-2013 by fadedface because: (no reason given)

It is possible to learn social skills, i suggest you see a therapist for person centred counselling - I think it would help you with your frustrations about yourself which eventually will ease the knock backs you're having with women.

Dont spend the rest of you life complaining about your situation, you CAN do something other than rant on an internet forum.

Dont take it offensively, but any human being can get with someone, even if just for a night. The one thing about humans is they all have a need for physical love/affection.

I am a woman. Any man try to bully me and I will beat his ass to death with a frying pan. Bullying shows a total lack of respect for the other. I've only had one man in my life try to bully me by slapping me across the face because I said no to a marriage proposal. I tore him up so badly, he needed a hospital. I do not condone violence in a relationship, but I will defend myself.

My husband and I are both quiet people. But, we are capable of amazing conversations. We think along the same line. Too many people go for others who have tendencies opposite to their own and I believe this is where a lot of relationships run into trouble. Women prefer a confident man, just like a man prefers a confident woman. You want to know that your partner in life is capable of caring for themselves and the family in the event of something happening, like death or disability, happening to the other spouse/partner.

A woman does not have to choose to be bullied to show her love and support. If she feels that is her only choice because she is afraid, then she needs to move, get a new phone #, get a restraining order, and get her butt to some self esteem/confidence building classes. No one...man or woman...should ever be a victim to bullying.

reply to post by fadedface


Clearly you don't grasp it, and you continue to see only what you want. These natural benchmarks you speak of aren't as physical and domineering as you think. You seem to be weak not because you aren't capable of strength, but because you simply choose to be weak. But if biology is the way you want to play it, regardless of any advice and understanding given to you, then simply stay in your residence and allow your genes to die off. You would rather obsess over validation than help yourself, like I said, they can smell you a mile away.

Well that's good then, OP. You might say it's not ok because you are not getting laid or feel like nobody loves you, but apart from the sex you don't want to be with that kind of girl or woman... There is more trouble than pleasure with them...

So as long as you take care not to end up with one of these females later in life when they come running towards you during their mid-age crisis, you are all good.

Key point. Always remember who made you suffer and who suffered with you. Then go for the latter.

A lock that is opened by many keys is a lock you don't want to put your key into.

I feel that this overgeneralizes women (and men) and that there's much more of a spectrum of behavior, attraction, and relationship choice than there is a binary "bad guy/nice guy" or "dominant/submissive" dynamic. Even if that's how it's presented at times.

But even allowing that it can be viewed this simply, I feel that if and when I find love it will be because the other person wants me, not because they somehow denied their nature and decided not to want someone else instead. If I am ever blessed with love again in this lifetime, I want it to be because they love me, not because they settled for me out of fear of the potential negatives that come along with what was really their ideal choice to start with.

Everyone has different needs. Who am I to tell someone that their need fulfillment is wrong or undesirable? Their needs are theirs, not mine. So this dynamic really doesn't bother or hurt me personally. It may very well be necessary for the perpetuation of our species, and who am I to question the depth or genuineness of feelings between other people just because I'm more passive by nature than they are?

As for the rejection aspect, I sort of have a different perspective because my social anxiety and other issues preclude ever being quite "normal" around others anyway. So that feeling of unacceptance and abnormality, in other people's eyes, is something I'm used to living with anyway. Why would it be any different with relationships? All of this is something anyone I end up with is going to have to be accepting and tolerant of anyway.

If it happens it happens. If it doesn't it doesn't. Is it lonely? Sure. But I don't begrudge others their happiness just because their path and nature differs from mine.

Peace.

reply to post by fadedface


So women are "hard wired" and "instinctively" go after alpha males, and YOU sir, are, admittedly, NOT an alpha male.

So, according to this idea of hard wires and insticts, YOU are evolutionarily unfit to breed.

But quit blaming all YOUR problems on women and, most of your problems stem from the idea that women are robots and have no choice. Women CHOOSE to be with someone other than you. These men SEEM like bullies to you because, admittedly, you are weaker, shyer and identify with some other letter of the Greek alphabet.

YOU sir, also have free choice. Develop a personality. Get some hobbies. Do a pushup. Just one. Or date uglier girls.

I am a man. Not an alpha, not a beta, not an omega, not a this or that. By putting people into categories like this, you're only going to corner yourself into this illusion of adjectives.

Originally posted by LightsideAssassin

What did I do? I was just giving honest advice

reply to post by LightsideAssassin


Your right women want a man to be a 'warrior' and they hate passive men who just want 'everyone to get along'.

Women impose the survival of the fittest upon life and alpha males only act the way they do because they know that they have to be competitive, warlike and aggressive in order to have a chance of procreating with females because females on an instinctive level (sometimes unconsciously not often though) are attracted to these traits going back to our ancestors who lived in a hunter gatherer society when there was only alpha males because weaker males did not survive!

reply to post by fadedface


You generalize way too much and give way too much credit to "instincts" and that women have no choice in the matter. You think women are simply genetically hardwired to not like you. There are billions of women on this planet. Billions. Talk to them.

The first step to being in love is thinking you're worthy of love. It seems you feel like women will never like you and theres nothing you can do because you think they have some subconscious, biological imperative to enforce Darwinistic views of animal evolution.

Originally posted by Akragon
reply to post by fadedface

 

Actually women like confidence, and are usually turned off by a bully...

Yes they prefer the alpha male to some coward... but isn't the reason obvious?

You outlined it in your post somewhat...

We as males are supposed to be the protectors... and if you're a coward... who are you going to protect?

IF one has no confidence... you likely won't be able to make a woman laugh... aside from laughing at you...

Simple solution.... don't be a wimp... Girls hate that

This is the truth right here. To add, "bullies" are seen, subconsciously at least, as significantly weaker than truly confident men. Now, some women never "get it", amd up in crappy, abusive relationships, with insecure "bully" types, but realistically, who would want to be with women of such poor judgement anyhow?

If you leave out the part about wanting bullies/jerks/whatever, then it is true and makes sense. Confidence isn't an attribute limited to benefit in a "hunter/gatherer" society as your statement was intended, but if you think in terms of ability to protect and to provide, it makes sense in today's society as well as in the past, and most assuredly, the future. I can't think of careers where the timid guy is the top performer, whether working steel high-rise construction or programming cell phone apps.

Which guy will likely satisfy a woman more in the bedroom, take her on fun and exciting adventures, stand up for and protect her and her children? And it isn't about physical strength. I know bullies and wimps twice my size, and guys overflowing with confidence, not cockiness, 50-lbs lighter than me.

I know its not really a complaint as much as an observation you're making, but I think you've got it a bit mixed up.

Also, do you realize that women are constantly PREYED UPON by men. They are smaller than men, less violent. Women are looked at like prey, all the time.

If you were constantly being eyed, being played, being deceived by men who just want to screw you, you'd want someone strong around to get your back. This is why good looking women like men who can protect them. Because losers and creeps and players and lonely perverts are everywhere all trying to get into this woman's pants because she of how she looks, not WHO SHE IS.

So a woman finds a boyfriend or husband who likes her, not her body, and protects her, by "bullying" men who just want to have sex with her, and your blaming her for this?

OP- good news for you- there are bully, alpha girls in the world too and they tend to prefer wimpy passive guys with no confidence. As they say - there is someone for everyone.

reply to post by dogstar23


Confident males are inherently bullies because they marginalise weaker more passive males in social situations so in this respect women are indeed attracted to bullies.